OK, How Can I Go About This? - Love Forum

x_jkbhs_x · #1 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 02:55 AM

Hello everyone. I'm going to post another topic about myself in the new members forum in a minute or to, but just so you know, my name is Jamie and I come from Scotland. I'm still at school.

I'm looking for advice about a girl I know. Thankfully, I can talk to girls very, very easily about any matter of subjects, even sex. The situation at the moment is that I find a girl very attractive, due to her body and personality. I was drunk on Friday and Saturday and spoke to her a few times, telling her how I fancied her and so on. She took it in good stride and we had a laugh about it on Monday morning.

I signed onto MSN Messenger a minute ago and her username was 'find a guy that calls you beautiful, not hot, and who will stay awake just to watch you sleep'. Now, the Christmas dance is this coming Monday, and although I can't exactly tell her that I am willing to stay awake to watch her sleep, I am planning to tell her exactly how I feel, and tell her that she is beautiful.

Like I said, I will have no problem in telling her this, but I am wondering what exactly to say. Obviously, I want it to have the best impact and effect possible, so far I have come up with something along the lines of...

'I hope each and every single person you have danced with tonight has told you how breathtakingly beautiful you look. And not only that, but you have a brilliant personality, you're never off my mind these days.'

That's not the finished product, and I want to keep it short and sweet so I'm not made out to be some sort of physco, but what do people think of the above, and is there anything I should add or change? I'll be changing some stuff myself, as I won't just end abrubtly after I've said 'days'.

Thanks in advance! Jamie.

Tone · #2 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 02:59 AM

Hey Jamie!

How old are you!? You sound great! Finally someone who comes here who doesn't think the world will explode if they talk to the girl they like!

LoL anyways - yeah man I think that sounds pretty good if you deliver it right.. as in if you are sure to mean what you say and not make it sound TOO cheesy. I would leave off the last sentence, but that's just me - it seems too cheesy for me. Maybe somethin like "And if they haven't, be sure to let me know so I can make sure you get the message."

I dunno - that's just me!

Good luck!

x_jkbhs_x · #3 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 03:05 AM

Hi tone, I'm 16 and thanks, you're making me blush!

After re-reading what I wrote in bold I agree, the last sentence does sound quite corny. I like the quote you added though, it sort of re-inforces the point I'm making. I thought saying 'I hope each and every single person you have danced with tonight has told you...' would be quite good to use because the likelihood is that no-one else will have said anything like that and therefore she's more likely to remember what I said and so on.

Thanks for your reply - it's always a good sign when someone with over 6000 posts is willing to respond to someone who has one! Seems like a quality forum!

Tone · #4 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 03:10 AM

WOW! Only 16?!

Awesome - you're gonna have a great future when it comes to talkin to girls, I can tell!

And yeah - not only that - but the last sentence seems like just a little too much ya know? A little over the top. Being that you guys are 16 - yeah I'm sure no other boys have the guts to say what you're sayin anyways - so that will stick out enough in it's own - no need to overdo it with the second line.

Anyways - again best of luck! Look forward to hearing how it went. :]

x_jkbhs_x · #5 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 03:16 AM

Thanks mate, I'll keep it to the first sentence only, and yeah, I'll tell you how it all went a week today!

Hugo Pickle · #6 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 04:35 AM

I would say no, don't tell her all that. Here is why. First read this article

[url=http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/113_dating_advice.html[/URL]

After you have read that then understand that you are only 16, there is nothing wrong with that but because you have all ready figured in your mind exactly what you want to say to her, then you are on the losing end of the battle. Why? Because what you have really done is constantly think about her and build her up in your mind. Think about it, you want to tell her that she is beautiful and that everyone else should say so too. That’s not a bad line at all, but if you make it up ahead of time you are just waiting to tell this to her. That means that when you actually deliver the line it will not sound the way you hope it will in your head.

Your 16, your really into this girl and you want to tell her how beautiful she is before you even see her. Do you really think that she will not be able to tell that you were waiting to tell her that for 4 days? No, she will instantly know that you were just dying to tell her how great she looked and it will not have the effect on her that you hope it will.

What you need to do is keep that line in you pocket and not worry about what your going to say to her when you see her. Why? because you need to be confident that when you actually do see her you will know then that she is beautiful and you will obviously mention it. Don't be worried now that you will screw up what your going to say 4 days from now. When the moment comes you will say exactly what’s on your mind and it will be absolutely genuine and she will adore it just the same.

If you memorize some line now because you are worried that you will screw it up later then it will come out all wrong. Besides, what if in the moment you start to say you pre-planned line and you say the wrong word? Then the gig is up, then it is totally obvious that you planned that line a long time ago. She will then think that your "just saying that to get something' or "you don't really mean it"

Trust me, try to have some confidence and just know that you like her a lot and when the moment comes say the truth that she looks awesome, that’s it. you don't (and shouldn't) tell her how much you are totally thinking about her at this dance. Just have a great time, and she will know that you like her, but not think that you are totally infatuated with her, even if you are.

Good luck

Tone · #7 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugo Pickle

Your 16, your really into this girl and you want to tell her how beautiful she is before you even see her. Do you really think that she will not be able to tell that you were waiting to tell her that for 4 days? No, she will instantly know that you were just dying to tell her how great she looked and it will not have the effect on her that you hope it will.

What you need to do is keep that line in you pocket and not worry about what your going to say to her when you see her. Why? because you need to be confident that when you actually do see her you will know then that she is beautiful and you will obviously mention it. Don't be worried now that you will screw up what your going to say 4 days from now. When the moment comes you will say exactly what’s on your mind and it will be absolutely genuine and she will adore it just the same.

If you memorize some line now because you are worried that you will screw it up later then it will come out all wrong. Besides, what if in the moment you start to say you pre-planned line and you say the wrong word? Then the gig is up, then it is totally obvious that you planned that line a long time ago. She will then think that your "just saying that to get something' or "you don't really mean it"

Trust me, try to have some confidence and just know that you like her a lot and when the moment comes say the truth that she looks awesome, that’s it. you don't (and shouldn't) tell her how much you are totally thinking about her at this dance. Just have a great time, and she will know that you like her, but not think that you are totally infatuated with her, even if you are.

Good luck

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

He ALREADY knows this girl, he's SEEN her before, so I totally disagree you shouldnt' say that cause she'll know you're just throwin some line at her.. They are friends already, he already thinks she's beautiful - so why not tell her that the night of the dance when she's going to be all dolled up? "Instead tell her she looks awesome" - No way - that's what all the other boys will say.

I say stick with your plan. That's just me though.

Hugo Pickle · #8 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 04:51 AM

I’m not saying don’t tell her how great she looks. I am saying don’t focus 4 days ahead of time every darn word you are going to say to her. Tone you have to remember that this guy is 16, just the fact that he is worried about every word he is going to say to her is not good. Do you really think he will deliver that line the way you would. Would you plan 4 days ahead how your going to tell a gilr how pretty she looks? No of course not.

What you need to be doing is focusing on you and the dance. Is your suit ready? How is the car running? Have you been practicing dancing? Do you have a gift for her? How are you going to surprise her during the dance. Do you have anything else planned. This is where you confidence during the night will come from. Do not focus on exactly which word you are going to use to tell her how pretty she is.

Tone I agree that every guy should have the confidence to say to women what they really want to say, which is exactly why planning it ahead of time is a bad idea. You have a fit body and are older and can say something like that and not think twice about it, do you really think this 16 year old can do that? No I don’t think so. He posted on here this one line just to get the confidence to say it. That’s part of the reason that he shouldn’t What he should be doing at 16 is doing the things that will develop the confidence to have a good time at this dance.

Tone · #9 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 04:56 AM

I dunno - in his first post he sounded VERY confident... so he doesn't sound like most 16 year olds.

I dunno - to me he just seemed like he wanted to make sure he wasn't goin over the top or anythin with that line. Which he kinda was at first - but I don't think him sayin she's beautiful is too much at all. He likes her - sounds like he has the confidence, why not go for it, I say.

Hugo Pickle · #10 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 04:58 AM

Your right, durring the night he should say all thise things, but don't plan it ahead of time and don't focus on it like he has been doing. Focus on the dance and get all those ducks in a row first

Tone · #11 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 05:05 AM

Yeah I can agree with that, like I said in my first post:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

yeah man I think that sounds pretty good if you deliver it right.. as in if you are sure to mean what you say and not make it sound TOO cheesy.

If he says it nice and smoothly, and doesn't make it seem like he's been thinkin to say it for the past week - it should go over well. :]

Late_vamp · #12 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 12:20 PM

dont plan to much , just go with the flow and whatever goes , goes .

i agree with Tone and what Hugo said in his last post .

go for it .

Unity · #13 (**permalink**) 14-12-05, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugo Pickle

I’m not saying don’t tell her how great she looks. I am saying don’t focus 4 days ahead of time every darn word you are going to say to her. Tone you have to remember that this guy is 16, just the fact that he is worried about every word he is going to say to her is not good. Do you really think he will deliver that line the way you would. Would you plan 4 days ahead how your going to tell a gilr how pretty she looks? No of course not.

What you need to be doing is focusing on you and the dance. Is your suit ready? How is the car running? Have you been practicing dancing? Do you have a gift for her? How are you going to surprise her during the dance. Do you have anything else planned. This is where you confidence during the night will come from. Do not focus on exactly which word you are going to use to tell her how pretty she is.

Tone I agree that every guy should have the confidence to say to women what they really want to say, which is exactly why planning it ahead of time is a bad idea. You have a fit body and are older and can say something like that and not think twice about it, do you really think this 16 year old can do that? No I don’t think so. He posted on here this one line just to get the confidence to say it. That’s part of the reason that he shouldn’t What he should be doing at 16 is doing the things that will develop the confidence to have a good time at this dance.

I know what your saying like, when planning things to say I usualy change my mind or say something else anyways, so in a sense it's kind of true. But it is a nice line and I too think it was a little bit too much. One thing, don't spend all night looking for the right moment to bring it out. Just go with the flow and when a good moment comes along it will feel right and make it all the easier.

x_jkbhs_x · #14 (**permalink**) 15-12-05, 05:02 AM

Hi again.

Thanks for the replies. Unity I know what you are saying, I don't want it to come out as if I have been planning it for a few days, which admittedly, as we all know, I have, but I know I'll be able to say it in an appropriate tone, isn't that right tone?

However, I do know what I'm wearing, but I think buying a gift would be OTT! I mean, we are good friends like I said, but I feel that may be crossing the line too soon and taking too big a risk. If I went down that path then it would cause some hefty thinking as in what to get her and so on.

I feel that we may be complicating things here. In all modesty, I am very confident when it comes to speaking to girls and I know I can deliver this 'line' in the best possible fashion when the time comes.

Jamie!