confused!

[ness]

i need some advice about this guy i like and have known for about two months. we met at work and only did a couple of shifts together but from the first day i kinda figured he liked me (he was pretty full on teasing and flirting). After the 4th time we met he gave me his number and asked me out but i couldnt go that time. so from then on he continually messaged me (to the point where it freaked me out) saying how he really likes me and when i would be free to see him. i met up with him a few days later and right up to the moment i arrived he kept contacting me saying where are you, are you i still coming etc so by this stage i felt a bit uncomfortable cause it was getting obsessive! we hung out for a bit but i left on bad terms as i wasnt warming up to him as much as he would of liked. i decided to let it cool down for a week or so and the last i heard of him he said it was cool if i didnt like him we could just stay friends.

but two weeks later when i contacted him recently and he said he didnt know who i was! so either he was playing dumb or he deleted my number from his phone. when he realised it was me, he was nice but didnt seem overly excited to hear from me. i dont understand his what to do cause i stil have to work with the guy and want to fix things. it seems that he either really liked me and i hurt him or he was just after me for a good time and when he realised i wasnt that kinda girl he moved on. i've never met a guy that is so obsessive the way he was. perhaps he had some bad experience with girls playing him before? hes pretty good looking and has a few girls after him (i know this cause he turned them away and asked me out instead) so its not like he cant get a girlfriend easily. has anyone been in a similar situation? would really appreciate other guys feedback too. thanks

[funsounds]

unless you're interested in him, i wouldn't sweat it. it'll all blow over and he'll probably be cordial to you at work.

if you are interested in him...don't be. he's cRaZy...

[Hugo Pickle]

You know I think dating people at work is the hardest dating there is.

IT works best in my view when you just do what you want and include only certain (yes you must be very selective at work) people who you work with to just come along for the ride. It seems to me that even though you might really like a woman you work with a lot, you have to always play it cool and casual.

I know it sucks, but one time I asked this girl at work out and didn’t even know that she had a live in boyfriend. We seemed to always flirt with each other and I could have sworn she liked me until I asked her out. She wasn’t rude or anything but the answer was obviously no and I felt so stupid that I didn’t get my facts straight first. Anyway, that was that so I thought. I did my best to treat her like a regular co-worker but it was very hard for me. Obviously she told every other girl there that I had asked her out and it kind of bugged me that every woman that you ask out always seems to tell every other woman she know about it.

Well, 3 weeks later I went out with my friends to a dance club and I am dancing on the second level by my self. I had 2 quick beers in me and I didn’t give a damn about much, I was just “dancing to forget things” I guess. I had my eyes closed for a few seconds and I feel someone gently grab my arm to move me slightly out of the way. I looked up and it was the girl I asked out at work. She was wearing the sexiest all silver dancing outfit I had ever seen (she was way hot.) Then she proceeds to turn around with her back to me and dance right in front of me all sexy like. She was like one inch away from me and every second or two would be sure to back up just a bit to ever so slightly rub against me. We were on the second platform and there was plenty of room so it was totally obvious that there was some meaning to this. I knew something was up so I started looking around and sure enough on the side of the dance floor was her boyfriend standing there with his arms crossed meanly staring at us, but oddly not looking like he was going to break us up at any second. Well, I say **** it and start going at it with my hands, then she grabs my hand and without turning around to face me slowly puts them down back at my sides.

Just then this huge ass bouncer looking dude grabs my right shoulder and rips my shirt half off trying to pull me away from her. The shirt I was wearing was very thin so instead of pulling me back off my feet to much it just ripped apart, kind of took everyone by surprise. We got into a scuffle, neither one of us started swinging but I stood my ground like I was gona kill that bastard for even touching me, I was hot as hell. He was huge but I didn’t give a damn if I died that night. After all ready psyching myself up to fight her boyfriend after seeing him watching us frustrated, I was ready for anything. I think my ferocity took the big dude by surprise (my guess as to why he didn’t try to take my down.) Eventually, the regular bouncers came up and threw him out because everyone in the whole club stopped dancing when he ripped my shirt up like that. I mean we were on the second level and right up front and the girl in front of me shined like a beacon in that all silver dress. It was totally obvious that he was in the wrong.

She danced with me some more and then as her boyfriend got more pissed and just started to leave the club. That’s when she ran after him. I guess that he didn’t want to tangle with me after not backing down with someone twice his size all ready that night. And I was not drunk at all I only had 2 beers in like a hrs time.

The point of all this is that work dating is freaken weird. You never know the way people are gona act at work, it is like they use you for some things, and like you but hide their interest in you other times and then other times they like you a lot but simply refuse to “crap where they eat” so to speak.

When it comes to dating people at work I recommend taking it real low key and never let it seem like a date. When dating people at work I do my best to make it a casual friend thing and then just see how it goes outside of work. I’ll just mention places where I go and then if I see them there I might say hi.

[Bluevetteracer]

I need some advice about this guy I like and have known for about two months.

OK

We met at work and only did a couple of shifts together but from the first day I kind of figured he liked me (he was pretty full on teasing and flirting).

YES he likes you.

After the 4th time we met he gave me his number and asked me out but I couldn't go that time.

Why, did you have a death in the family, or was it gossip girl night?

So from then on he continually messaged me (to the point where it freaked me out)

I know this freaks girls out, but he does not, he thinks (as most teen boys) that the more attention he gives you, the more you will notice that he cares about you. Although weird, it comes from a good place. He will learn what is appropriate after some time of trial and error.

Saying how he really likes me and when I would be free to see him. I met up with him a few days later and right up to the moment I arrived he kept contacting me saying where are you, are you I still coming etc

-He was probably thinking you would cancel at the last minute.

But two weeks later when I contacted him recently and he said he didn't know who I was! So either he was playing dumb or he deleted my number from his phone.

He deleted you number, and for us guys, many girls sound the same. Guys do not overly think every little modicum of a detail that women do.

When he realized it was me, he was nice but didn't seem overly excited to hear from me.

Well, you did give him the cold shoulder?

I don't understand this what to do because I still have to work with the guy and want to fix things. It seems that he either really liked me and I hurt him

YES THAT IS IT. Let me guess, you kids work at either a grocery store or a fast food place. He is 15-17. He does not how to interact with women, and you are expecting him to act like the guy from the romance novel.

Or he was just after me for a good time and when he realized I wasn't that kind of girl he moved on.

Sounds like you never gave him the opportunity to?

've never met a guy that is so obsessive the way he was. Perhaps he had some bad experience with girls playing him before?

Probably, or really likes you and it makes him nervous. Some person, a guy, in this world finds you so nice, good looking, that you bring him to his knees inside, and when he sees you, his stomach probably gets all warm. But I know you find this disgusting.

Hes pretty good looking and has a few girls after him (I know this cause he turned them away and asked me out instead)

Sound like he is Just a horrible guy.

So it's not like he can't get a girlfriend easily. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would really appreciate other guy's feedback too. thanks

Not for about 14 years, but been there done that.

Look, at your age, guys deal in absolutes, it works, or it does not. IF it is broke, I will get a new part. Etc.

[vashti]

I think you should stay away from obsessive guys, and you ought to consider yourself lucky that someone else will be stuck with him. Young girls are often flattered by excessive amounts of male attention, but trust me, you shouldn't be.

[Rosebud]

Hmm, It seemed at first you were kinda weirded out by his over persistance and then when it stopped you were upset. But I wouldn't worry about it, just be cordial at work and things should be fine.

[Sumatra]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ness

it seems that he either really liked me and i hurt him or he was just after me for a good time and when he realised i wasnt that kinda girl he moved on.

Toots, it seems like you answered your own question right there ^

My guess, from your explanation of his actions, seems to be EXACTLY what you said. He either was hurt by your disinterest, or was a hounddog looking for some freebie action and once you proved to not be like that, he moved on.

Goodluck

[gunit]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

I need some advice about this guy I like and have known for about two months.

OK

We met at work and only did a couple of shifts together but from the first day I kind of figured he liked me (he was pretty full on teasing and flirting).

YES he likes you.

After the 4th time we met he gave me his number and asked me out but I couldn't go that time.

Why, did you have a death in the family, or was it gossip girl night?

So from then on he continually messaged me (to the point where it freaked me out)

I know this freaks girls out, but he does not, he thinks (as most teen boys) that the more attention he gives you, the more you will notice that he cares about you. Although weird, it comes from a good place. He will learn what is appropriate after some time of trial and error.

Saying how he really likes me and when I would be free to see him. I met up with him a few days later and right up to the moment I arrived he kept contacting me saying where are you, are you I still coming etc

-He was probably thinking you would cancel at the last minute.

But two weeks later when I contacted him recently and he said he didn't know who I was! So either he was playing dumb or he deleted my number from his phone.

He deleted you number, and for us guys, many girls sound the same. Guys do not overly think every little modicum of a detail that women do.

When he realized it was me, he was nice but didn't seem overly excited to hear from me.

Well, you did give him the cold shoulder?

I don't understand this what to do because I still have to work with the guy and want to fix things. It seems that he either really liked me and I hurt him

YES THAT IS IT. Let me guess, you kids work at either a grocery store or a fast food place. He is 15-17. He does not how to interact with women, and you are expecting him to act like the guy from the romance novel.

Or he was just after me for a good time and when he realized I wasn't that kind of girl he moved on.

Sounds like you never gave him the opportunity to?

've never met a guy that is so obsessive the way he was. Perhaps he had some bad experience with girls playing him before?

Probably, or really likes you and it makes him nervous. Some person, a guy, in this world finds you so nice, good looking, that you bring him to his knees inside, and when he sees you, his stomach probably gets all warm. But I know you find this disgusting.

Hes pretty good looking and has a few girls after him (I know this cause he turned them away and asked me out instead)

Sound like he is Just a horrible guy.

So it's not like he can't get a girlfriend easily. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would really appreciate other guy's feedback too. thanks

Not for about 14 years, but been there done that.

Look, at your age, guys deal in absolutes, it works, or it does not. IF it is broke, I will get a new part. Etc.

Ness, one word for you
OWNT.

[Junsui]

Ownt? I don't think that's an actual word I agree with Vashti, he sounds a little obsessive.