Advice about youe "ex"

[MereSanam143]

Why do we have this ideology that just because we break up with some, just because someone becomes our “ex”, means that all forms of communication should be closed between the two. Why do we act as if this person never existed, as if we never experienced the past? Why does the philosophy “you date a guy/girl, you lose a friend” stand true. Why do we allow ourselves to fall under such stereotypes? Why is it that just because your relationship didn’t work for whatever reason, there should be hostility between the two? How can we allow someone to walk out of our lives so easily? How can you close all doors to someone who you truly care for? Your relationship might have failed, but that doesn’t mean your friendship can’t exist. You friendship doesn’t exist because you ALLOW it to not exist. You dated this person because at some point or another they we astonishing friends, why close all doors and allow that friendship to perish? You dated this person not because you were physically attracted to them, but emotionally attached. Emotionally attachments come from friendship. Friendship is hard to find, why let it get away so easily? Friendship was your “ex”, this person, your “ex”, was there for when you needed someone’s back to cry on, they were there for your in the middle of the night when you got yourself in trouble. Define friendship: what your “ex” did for you. Why let all that good memories remain memories? You continuously tell yourself “I can’t get over him/her,” “I love him/her,” if you’re in that case, stop the criticism and deal with it, or do something about it. Don’t let someone who means the universe to you walk out of your life forever because your relationship failed. There was a relationship, because there was a strong friendship. Every time I hear someone say “I never talk to my “ex” and I don’t plan on talking to them ever”, I ask myself, how can you plan to go the rest of your life not talking to some one you spent so much time with, someone you obviously care for, someone who was there for you when you needed someone the most, someone how you had physical contact with, someone that at one point or another meant the universe to you? Ask yourself the same question. Ask yourself why are you letting such a strong bond between the two of you break because a simple relationship failed? Why fall under the stereotype, if you date someone, eventually you’re going to lose him or her for life. I guess in today’s society that is the case, we date, we break up, we move on. We never reflect upon the past, to see that just because we wanted the additional benefits of physical contact, we allowed ourselves to end a strong bond. What’s the difference between friendship and a relationship, physical contact? How can all the memories, all the laughs, all the nights spent talking on the phone stop just because we chose to stop the physical contact, because we chose to break up? What does it mean when title of “boy/girl” is added to the friend? If you’re allowing yourself to fall under this stereotype, STOP reading, pick up the phone, call that person and tell them. We can’t allow ourselves to live in such a civilization that holds the beliefs that because you date someone no from of communication should exist ever again. This initiative exists, because we allow it to, because we CHOOSE to do nothing about the past. You can’t ever stop caring for some, despite everything they put you through, and you know it. Don’t allow this stereotype to continue to dominate our culture. Pick up your phone, dial the number, don’t let the best friend you could possibly ever have walk out of you.

[Late_vamp]

Sanam ... you know on the keyboard there is such a thing as enter wich separates into paragraghs ...

now ......USE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....

now EDIT this blob called an unreadible text ...

[Sumatra]

HAHA i got lost SO many times trying to read that. But i made it through!

I for one agree with your confusion about the banishment of the ex. But i've been in situations where you WANT to cut off everything from them. But i've also remained close with a few ex's, mainly because the breakup was of a neutral or non-vicious nature. It really depends on the grounds the couple parts on.

[Junsui]

If the relationship ended on a good note or even if it didn't and you are both able to move on and not want to continue dating the other, then I think you can remain friends. You don't always have to cut off all contact from an ex, but at first it is wise to take some time away from them until you or them are over the relationship.