Relationship Patters

[leight69]

Do you have any relationship patterns?

Do you always go for the same type of person?

Do your relationships stay they same? Or do they differ?

Ie: Maybe you're dating a totally different kind of person, but you're still looking for "drama" and cause fights over certain things if they go smoothly. Or at the first sign of trouble you will bail. Or you will continually take alot and be steped on in your relationship, and are always a victim.

Is there any sort of reoccuring pattern in your relationship?

[jane]

I have dated a few guys that I would cataegories as "the same' but I honestly didn't really think about a pattern until now. I guess, in a way, it depends on your personality.

My relationships, up until recently, have all been different. I have had an indirect pattern, most of them we're a%$holes. Yeah, I have a pattern. I try and meet men that have the same interests as I do. So in a way, there is a pattern.
It's funny you say that about looking for drama... When things seem to perfect, I was always looking for the fault. Wow, good point.

[leight69]

I've noticed that those around me who have been in a number of relationships since I've known them, all tend to follow similar "patterns".

When things go sour their complaints are all the same, when things are going well, it is usually for the same reason. It is rare that I notice actual growth in anyones relationships. They seem to be making the same mistakes again and again. And they seem to look for the highs in the same places over and over.

As I've only ever had one serious relationship, I have sworn to be different in my next relationship. But I'm not sure if I myself am a perpatrator of this mistake, becaue it needs to happen twice for it to become a pattern.

I have made a conscience effort in my daily life of behaving differently. Eg: I'm becoming assertive with my friends and family, as I wasnt assertive before, and got walked over by my last partner. Things like that, cause I figure, I'm aware of those things now, why not improve myself now!

Anyone else follow a pattern?

[Jay-Tea]

Quote:

Originally posted by leight69
Do you have any relationship patterns?

Do you always go for the same type of person?

Do your relationships stay they same? Or do they differ?

Ie: Maybe you're dating a totally different kind of person, but you're still looking for "drama" and cause fights over certain things if they go smoothly. Or at the first sign of trouble you will bail. Or you will continually take alot and be steped on in your relationship, and are always a victim.

Is there any sort of reoccuring pattern in your relationship?

I think relationship patterns do exist and it's basically because the persons involved don't really change much. Relationships do help us grow when we learn from the experience. But going from one relationship to another don't really change us completely. I mean, for the most part of ourselves, we stay the way we are: our choices, the way we react, the way we express our feelings etc. There are just a few improvements I must say. Because you tend to avoid the previous "troubles".

Yep, I used to be like that - bailing out at the first sign of trouble. I guess that's how you become when you've had so much hurts. But I learned that one can never escape from getting hurt. When you love, get hurt because loving means self-sacrifice and vulnerability. And the person you love isn't perfect. In one way or another, he/she will hurt you whether it's intentional or not. You just gotta hold on and fight for it if you don't want to lose it.

But in loving, sometimes we sacrifice too much we tend to become victims. Of course it is important for one to be patient with another. But if it seems that the other person isn't sensitive enough to avoid the same cause of hurt for the other, then I think it's about time to bail out. Because if there's something a person must save for him/herself, it's self-respect.