Saturday night on the bridge - Love Forum

Draconian · #1 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 07:13 AM

Hello.
I am new to Love Forum, and was after some advice. Id like to tell you my story about Saturday night.

I have this great friend named Amy and she has a boyfriend. They have been together around a year now, though theres is still this funny little attraction between the both of us that i cant explain. Its been happening from the first moment we met.

Anyway. Saturday night, Amys boyfriend was sick. So Amy and i decided to grab some whiskey and sit in the pool and have a few drinks. After alot of drink we were both pretty drunk. Then came the time i had to walk her home.

On the way home she started hugging me, and holding my hand. We got to a bridge which overlooks the town and we sat down on there for a little while. She then put her head on my shoulder and i then put my head on her head. She turned to look at me and it was a perfect moment for a kiss, though i didnt because of her boyfriend. So i kissed her on the forehead. Then we started walking back to her house again hand in hand. When we got to her house i hugged her and walked home.

We havent spoken about it since. But the next time we saw each other we stared at each other for a good while. (Even though her boyfriend was around)

Now. . . Can anyone explain what just happened here? I really like Amy, and it kills me to know i cant have her. She really really adores her boyfriend. Do you think it was just the booze? Or something deeper?

Thank you

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 07:15 AM

I wouldn't place much hope in the actions of a drunk girl, and it doesn't matter if she likes you or not if she is keeping her boyfriend.

Mishanya · #3 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 07:51 AM

Something baaaaad is brewing up... I can feel it

funsounds · #4 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 07:24 PM

all depends what the stare was...

there's a chance she might be ripe for the picking...so that you could steal her away. BUT...personally...i think it's dumb as HELL to go after someone that's already seeing someone. the best that can happen is that person leaves their SO for you. what makes you think that person won't do the same damn thing to you?

people that leave their SO for someone else are NOT to be trusted...

BlueSofa · #5 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 09:31 PM

I have recently been in a situation where a woman who is in a relationship was having some diffucult times with her boyfriend. We got to the situation where we were both holding hands, hugging and want much more but holding back due to her relationship. I was always reminding her of her relationship with her boyfriend in a way that, I thought, helped define the line that must not be crossed for her own sake. In the end she ended up feeling confused and torn as to whom she loved more and so it ended what was essentially a very special close relationship. :-(

Regardless of whether there is somthing deeper or not, you must both take care to define a 'line' you are both happy with not to cross at this time. It's a hard thing to do but what you dont want is to pull her away emotionally from her boyfriend as she may end up resenting that. That will spoil what you have. It is better for her to come to you, if that ever happens. She will respect you and possibly love you even more if you give her that space and simply be there for her in times of need.

Tone · #6 (**permalink**) 22-12-05, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

I wouldn't place much hope in the actions of a drunk girl, and it doesn't matter if she likes you or not if she is keeping her boyfriend.

I agree.

The only thing you can really do is play the waiting game, if you want a chance at her. I been down that road. I decided it was worth it, so I played the waiting game for 6 months... it sucked, it was torture, it was hard, but when she broke up with him - man was it worth it!

But who knows if that will work out the same with your situation. It's a gamble really. I wouldn't try to take her from her b/f for reasons that funsounds said, plus you don't wanna be that guy that steals another man's woman.

THEN AGAIN - I often argue both sides of that. All thanks to something one of my friends told me... "If I can take her from him, that means he never really had her to begin with" - which is kinda hard to argue...

Rosebud · #7 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 04:07 AM

Yep, I also agree..

And Tone while that is very true, you never look like a good guy if you go after someone who already has a SO. Yes it takes two to make it happen, but who's to say that person won't do that to you as well?

Tone · #8 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 04:58 AM

Exactly.. LoL - like I said I can argue both sides.. but me, personally, I don't wanna be that guy.

vashti · #9 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:07 AM

On the other hand, it could be argued that one isn't REALLY off the market until they are married, except by their own choice, and that everything leading up to marriage is just practice. I just don't know what would be attractive about someone who calls themselves "taken".

TAVS · #10 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shh!

On the other hand, it could be argued that one isn't REALLY off the market until they are married, except by their own choice, and that everything leading up to marriage is just practice. I just don't know what would be attractive about someone who calls themselves "taken".

You're taken yet attractive are you not?

Rosebud · #11 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:12 AM

Yes but then that is also saying relationships unless they are marriages are insignificant!

vashti · #12 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

You're taken yet attractive are you not?

haha - no I am hideous! I make small children scream with fright!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Yes but then that is also saying relationships unless they are marriages are insignificant!

No I'm not. I'm saying it isn't over till its over. Relationships (marital or otherwise) are only as significant as the people involved imagine them to be. Obviously if one person is running around, that relationship is not as significant as their "S/O" imagines.

Rosebud · #13 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:42 AM

I wasn't accusing you... LOL

I wasn't saying they were running around. But then again I got off the topic of Tone's original post talking about the person leaving them for another.. But I meant people trying to take the person that is involved and thinking they aren't off the market until they are married means their relationship is insignificant to them because they aren't married and they are still free game or "not really taken".

aw hell I agree with you Vashti.. gees, did I really need to explain all that.. LOL

vashti · #14 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

aw hell I agree with you Vashti.. gees, did I really need to explain all that.. LOL

haha - no, just this part: "I agree with you Vashti".

Rosebud · #15 (**permalink**) 23-12-05, 06:04 AM

LOL.. I thought you'd like that! After I read all that I started laughing at myself!!!