Help with Girl. - Love Forum

karot · #1 (**permalink**) 26-12-05, 02:40 PM

Well here goes my story if anyone wants to help me out.

Im currently 18, and met this girl when i was 15 through a friend. I thought she was perfect and my mate thought she was perfect for me. Im the sort of guy that believes in friendship for a couple months first to get the ball rolling before asking out a girl. She went away overseas on holidays and i was the only one to contact her while she was away and i planned to ask her out when she got back. Thing is when she got back she went out with this guy and he then asked her out after this one outting. They were together 2 yrs and split up about 6 months ago or so.

These past 3 years ive known her i have liked her on and off, and i know given the chance i will fall in love with her. The whole time we have been best friends and catch up regularly. I have dropped subtle hints for her to pick up on for the last few weeks and each time i see her i find her that bit more beautiful.

Ive really been hurting inside about how much i care about her and have just left a serious relationship myself cos of the way i felt and i always knew in myself i would just know when the time is right to come clean to her. Basically when i saw her christmas eve and she asked me what WE are doing on new years, i knew this was the time cos i was going to ask her to spend new years with me regardless. She said she will 'probably' be with me on new years so im really hoping she doesnt cancel on me. But this is where i am becoming tongue tied...

How do i confess to her that the last 3 yrs in my life everything has been about her, that ive never stopped having feelings for her and let her know even though im out of a serious relationship that she isnt a rebound, that she cant possibly be a rebound because of the way ive felt about her for this long. What can i say and in what order. She is the only girl who ive had a crush on that i can see years of happiness ahead.

football · #2 (**permalink**) 26-12-05, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karot

How do i confess to her that the last 3 yrs in my life everything has been about her, that ive never stopped having feelings for her and let her know even though im out of a serious relationship that she isnt a rebound, that she cant possibly be a rebound because of the way ive felt about her for this long. What can i say and in what order. She is the only girl who ive had a crush on that i can see years of happiness ahead.

I wouldn't confess this to her...at least not yet. I would wait and try to make something happen between you two, if you do hook up and end up going out then would be a much better time to tell her all of this. If you tell her all of this before hand she might feel really akward and your friendship could go down the drain. You might want to tell a close friend about this to get it off your chest or something till you find the right time to tell her.

karot · #3 (**permalink**) 26-12-05, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by football

I wouldn't confess this to her...at least not yet. I would wait and try to make something happen between you two, if you do hook up and end up going out then would be a much better time to tell her all of this. If you tell her all of this before hand she might feel really akward and your friendship could go down the drain. You might want to tell a close friend about this to get it off your chest or something till you find the right time to tell her.

Cheers man. I also have spoken to a mate about this and really this is what i said to him...

I wanna tell her shes perfect, i wanna tell her i wouldnt change anything about her, i wanna tell her i want to be with her, i want 2 tell her i have liked her for 3 yrs, i wanna tell her lots of things, i wanna tell her i could love her, i just dont know how i order them.

He seemed to think if he was a girl, he would be impressed if thats pretty much what i said, not too cliche or anything.

funsounds · #4 (**permalink**) 26-12-05, 09:06 PM

geez louise...

play it cool. you come out like that...and she may well run out the room screaming! play her like any other girl. go out...get intimate a little...have fun. you can confess your love later...when she'll probably be more receptive to it. you don't wanna scare her away...

Psycam · #5 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 01:05 AM

True dat. Meet up with her New Years and just have fun bro. Don't worry about all this for now.

theotherguy0123 · #6 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 04:33 AM

remember, not alot will happen in life unless you make it happen. Thats just what I think, so why not talk to her first, dont confess to her yet, but do it eventually.

football · #7 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 04:50 AM

There are much better ways to tell a girl you like her than to confess that many years of love to her. Trust me, I really liked this girl for about 2 years, didn't do a thing about it (this was like 4 years ago) I told a really good friend (who was this girls best friend at the time) about how much I liked this girl, with a lot of detail she ended up telling the girl and I haven't talked to her much since, she freaked out, blocked me on AIM for a couple of years lol. Eventually we had a couple of conversations about random crap, but it felt akward and I just said screw this and didn't make an attempt to really talk to her again.

karot · #8 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 12:26 PM

Well lets just say last night i told her this. I told her to think about the fact that ive always been there for her in the last 3 years and never expected anything in return and that i miss her when ive just seen her and had to go.

I may have ruined things by saying this but i had to let it out, i didnt confess anything, i just let the words come straight out.

Havent spoken since then and im not going to pressure her im just going to let her talk to me when she is ready.

theotherguy0123 · #9 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 02:00 PM

ok she might be feelings a little weird right now, I mean you just dumped alot of stuff on her...i guess its up to her now.

kawaii · #10 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 02:22 PM

Hi Karot!

I think it's great that you've found someone who means so much to you.

There's great advice already given here. So I can't add much. Just from a girl's perspective, I've had someone who confessed he loved me before I even went out with him, so it kind of worried me a little. He didn't know but I was already dating someone else (who I eventually married), so I never went out with him.

You revealed some of your feelings to her already, but I think you should hold back a little on New Years. It might feel great getting it all out in the open but she might feel too pressured. So take your time and just enjoy being with her.

I'm sure you'll do great!

Kawaii

kawaii · #11 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 02:27 PM

I should add that if on New Years, she seems really into you, then maybe you can confess a little, but just a little.

Only-virgins · #12 (**permalink**) 27-12-05, 05:35 PM

Damn, she was probably fawking that other guy while she was with him for the 2 years karot.

karot · #13 (**permalink**) 28-12-05, 12:27 PM

Only-virgins, i think i mentioned she is basically my best friend but im not sure if i mentioned that above. Anyway we have a really open relationship and we have talked about everything we have done with previous partners im not worried about that.

I spoke to her briefly yesterday cos she contacted me and told me her results from her school exams. Whether she did this cos she thought of me and wanted to let me know, or whether she did it just cos she had to let it out and tell absolutely anyone i do not know. I just told her i was very proud of her and she thanked me for that.

For the moment im just letting her come to me im not going to pressure her, like you people have said its a lot for her to take in, so whenever she is ready. I wont really know if things are still all good between us until tonight cos she said we will talk then. Whether she still wants to hang out on new years anymore i dont know, and really im afraid to ask. At least if she does i know she isnt phased by what i said, if not i think my chances are gone.