Dating a white guy - Love Forum

brown pearl · #1 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 04:50 AM

Sorry guys but here's my story. There's this white guy in my class who is really cute . I had been observing him since last term but thought nothing of it. Well this term he's been sitting in front of me, next to some other girls. One of the girls (they are both white) is cute and always flirting and holding him. I didn't realise how much i liked him. Didn't realise either that i was not the only one who though he was cute. Almost everyday he now sits next to them ( i.e. right in front of me). It is extremely distracting. I told my friend we should change sits. I don't know how he or she does it but she always saves a sit for me and its right behind the guy. Ok my mum is mixed her father is white -french but i've never dated a white guy before. I am 23 studying towards an MD (doctor of medicine)and so are my classmates. I consider myself to be above average (well i've had compliments from white guys come up to me saying i' m beautiful or pretty and black guys too although i consider myself to be just above average). It's really bugging me and considering i'm in med school its not really helping in my concentration. I don't usually make the first move and i don't know if girls should. It would have made things easier if we were introduced. Considering the differences in culture and the way i was brought up (black culture), i'm really confused on how i'm supposed to react. I know he is not going out with the white girl but does he like her? is that why he sits with them ? I really need some help guys. Plus what do white guys think about dating coloured women???????

Tone · #2 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 04:54 AM

It all depends on the person, of course.

Why not just find an excuse to talk to him? Like ask him about an assigment or notes in class.. see where it goes from there.

TAVS · #3 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 04:55 AM

Black and White; we're all the same right Tone?

Tone · #4 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:02 AM

Absolutely.

On second thought, brown_pearl - I'd say forget about the white guy. He's probably some arrogant little shithead once you get to know him anyways.. and will be too embarrassed to bring you home to meet his bigot, redneck father - if he'd even give you a chance to begin with, since you're not blonde-hair blue-eyed barbi doll.

Yeah forget whitey - and go see what's good with the Peruvian guy who looks like he could use some Algebra help.

brown pearl · #5 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:08 AM

Don't get me wrong, i've got a lot of asian, white, mixed, black friends and family and we get along fine but i was brought up in a black/mixed culture. I don't usually have problems expressing the way i feel. This just seems a bit different. I just don't want to do anything inappropriate or make it seem too obvious, plus i don't know if he's into this other girl. I'd prefer to avoid rejection or embarrassment if that is the case.

Tone · #6 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brown pearl

Don't get me wrong, i've got a lot of asian, white, mixed, black friends and family and we get along fine but i was brought up in a black/mixed culture. I don't usually have problems expressing the way i feel. This just seems a bit different. I just don't want to do anything inappropriate or make it seem too obvious, plus i don't know if he's into this other girl. I'd prefer to avoid rejection or embarrassment if that is the case.

Like I said, try to get to know him on a plutonic level first then.

Ask him somethin about class to test the waters. Do you guys have study groups or somethin???

TAVS · #7 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

Absolutely.

On second thought, brown_pearl - I'd say forget about the white guy. He's probably some arrogant little shithead once you get to know him anyways.. and will be too embarrassed to bring you home to meet his bigot, redneck father - if he'd even give you a chance to begin with, since you're not blonde-hair blue-eyed barbi doll.

You talking shit about my family Tone?

brown pearl · #8 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:18 AM

Something else i don't know if guys are afraid to tell me how they feel sometimes. For example i had this friend from louisiana ( a white guy too) who was sitting nex to me last term. We'd talk and laugh etc i didn't pick up the signs only found out from a girl (this is when he'd left) that he'd told some other girl he fancied me and was trying to find out if i had a boyfriend. Why don't a lot of white guys just tell you straight away that they fancy you or really like you and just stay quiet. Black guys tell you straight away. I don't know........i don't pick up signs, i always hear from other people and i always seem to be the last one to know..........

brown pearl · #9 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:21 AM

we do have study groups but he isn't in mine and we don't share the same friends because we were doing slightly different subjects last term

TAVS · #10 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brown pearl

Why don't a lot of white guys just tell you straight away that they fancy you or really like you and just stay quiet. Black guys tell you straight away. I don't know........i don't pick up signs, i always hear from other people and i always seem to be the last one to know..........

So your telling me that Every black male would tell you directly right away he was interested in you and if you had a boyfriend? Somehow I doubt it. Some people are introverted some are extroverted. Even the extroverted can be introverted in these type of things.

Rosebud · #11 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:31 AM

I would agree with Tavs statement. The factor some guys do't tell you that their interested has nothing to do with them being white or black or whatever they are. It's theri own personality. Like Tone said If you like this guy step up and talk to him?

Tone · #12 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAVS

You talking shit about my family Tone?

No TAVS, I like you!

Are you in England, brown pearl? With all this "fancy" talk.

Anyways yeah, like TAVS said it's just different for each person. Most guys are already scared enough talkin to a girl as is.. but when it's a girl of another race they might get scared she's automatically gonna reject him for not bein the same race. Silly as it may be, most guys LOOK for reasons to talk themselves OUT OF approachin a girl - they focus on what could go wrong, why she won't like them, why he's dumb for ever thinkin he could have a chance with her, etc.

For the third time, if you like him - just talk to him. :]

I'm sure there is somethin you can find for an excuse to talk to him about? Especially if you sit close to him.

brown pearl · #13 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:50 AM

ok ok ok i'll find some dumb reason to talk to him. I guess that won't kill me. ARRRGGGGGGHHHH i'm scared though. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks for the answers.... keep them coming, you guys are awesome!!!

Converse · #14 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

No TAVS, I like you!

Are you in England, brown pearl? With all this "fancy" talk.

Anyways yeah, like TAVS said it's just different for each person. Most guys are already scared enough talkin to a girl as is.. but when it's a girl of another race they might get scared she's automatically gonna reject him for not bein the same race. Silly as it may be, most guys LOOK for reasons to talk themselves OUT OF approachin a girl - they focus on what could go wrong, why she won't like them, why he's dumb for ever thinkin he could have a chance with her, etc.

For the third time, if you like him - just talk to him. :]

I'm sure there is somethin you can find for an excuse to talk to him about? Especially if you sit close to him.

LOL 'fancy talk' :]

Tone · #15 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 05:54 AM

Darlin, he's just another human being, that's all.

Wouldn't you rather get it over with and talk to him, see what happens, for better or worse than go on REGRETTING never havin said somethin??

It's no big deal - so don't build it up in your mind TO BE a big deal, and it won't be. ;P

Good luck, let us know what happens~