never asked a stranger out... - Love Forum

hound1092 · #1 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 07:35 AM

ok here is the deal, i am in high school and i have just recently started dateing. I have asked chicks out before, but they have all been people i know or frends, frends ect. And i have run out of chicks that i know in some way. and i guess my problem is i have no idea what to say or do when asking a stranger out. This is realy bothering me and i absolutly have no idea what i am doing when asking a stranger out.... Can any one tell me what to say and if any one has any tips?

alice · #2 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 07:47 AM

what do you mean, you've "run out of chicks you know"? do you date a different girl every week?

toohot4pants · #3 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 07:58 AM

you're not at a club or bar or party...you don't have to score a number within 10 minutes, half hour, or 2 hours of meeting them. you're in high school...you can work them over slowly over a few days...or a week...or 2 weeks if you have to.

so...if you see someone attractive, just start talking to them...the same way you start talking to ANY stranger...guy, girl, adult, or anyone other stranger that you would normally not ask out. get to know them...let them get to know you...then if you feel it, ask her out, ask for her number, whatever.

if you wanna get numbers via the shotgun method...like at a club or whatever...that'd work too...but i'm just sayin, you don't gotta do that in most high school settings. that's harder in high school because you need an EXCUSE to talk to the girl...you don't need an excuse at a bar/club/party. so find an excuse to talk to her...it's easy if she's in one of your classes. it's hard if she's in none of our classes or anything...she's just some random person you see in the halls every once in a while. then you need to try hard to find an excuse...like, if you see her with some textbook for a class, is it a class you've taken or will take? excuse to say something. is she wearing an interesting shirt? like a Penn State shirt...or some band...or whatever. excuse to talk to her. if you notice ANYTHING with which you can identify, that's you're excuse. go from there...quickly create some sort of positive rapport...then ask her out or ask for a number.

Rosebud · #4 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 07:59 AM

It's the same thing as if you were asking someone out you know.. There's really no difference.

toohot4pants · #5 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

It's the same thing as if you were asking someone out you know.. There's really no difference.

not really. with someone you know, you've already created a good rapport. and you just walk up to them one day and say, "listen, you wanna go out sometime?" bada bing.

you walk up to some complete stranger and the first words out of your mouth is, "listen, you wanna go out sometime?" then they look at you funny...

hound1092 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:20 AM

thx that helps a bit, do you think it would be to fast when you just meet the person and have like conversation then ask for their number?

hound1092 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice

what do you mean, you've "run out of chicks you know"? do you date a different girl every week?

i mean that all the chicks that i know and like i have either allready dated or asked out. and i dont have any more chick freids that i am interested in dateing.

toohot4pants · #8 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hound1092

thx that helps a bit, do you think it would be to fast when you just meet the person and have like conversation then ask for their number?

depends how it goes. but no, there's not problem with that. that how you sometimes get digits at parties/clubs/bars.

Rosebud · #9 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toohot4pants

not really. with someone you know, you've already created a good rapport. and you just walk up to them one day and say, "listen, you wanna go out sometime?" bada bing.

you walk up to some complete stranger and the first words out of your mouth is, "listen, you wanna go out sometime?" then they look at you funny...

Come on now.. I approach people I know the same way I approach people I don't or at least with the same confidence.

toohot4pants · #10 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Come one now.. I approach people I know the same way I approach people I don't or at least with the same confidence.

i don't. if i have the hots for some chick and i'm talking to her for the first time, my heart rate increase, i'm more self aware, it feels different. with people i already know, i don't give a damn...and loose and free.

and seriously...like i posted, you don't do the same thing with someone you know vs someone you don't know. with someone you know, when you see them the next time the first words out of your mouth really can be, "listen, you wanna go out sometime?" but those can't be the first words with some girl you see across the hall, who's name you don't know, who you've never spoken to in your life.

Rosebud · #11 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 08:42 AM

I see your point.. And I'm not necessarily disagreeing. But I do think you SHOULD approach a stranger the same way you would a friend. And if they are a friend that you become interested in your going to be excited asking them out no matter what the status.

And yes you can walk up to someone you know becasue you will be slightly more comfortable than it would be to someone you just met. But what is the difference? your asking both of them out, your interested in them both? see what I mean? You should feel the same way no matter who they are.

Tone · #12 (**permalink**) 01-02-06, 11:22 PM

While you are right, RoseB - you SHOULD - and that IS the best approach, human nature is bound to take over.

The key is tricking yourself into believing that.

Late_vamp · #13 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 12:15 AM

school is easy game , especially by the end of HS and college , not to mention adult school .
just be friends with a twist of flirt in it . After a couple of weeks ask her to hang out after school .

Mneumonik · #14 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 01:29 AM

Meeting women is easy. Its all about talking and more importantly listening. Good body language is a plus too.

When i was in high school it was easy cause everyone knew each other, and when a friend stopped dating a girl, most of the time another guy in our click would go after em.

Remember, all people are strangers until you talk to them.. You DONT need pickup lines.. they are cheesy and girls will think you're cheesy for using them. A simple "Hi" does the trick fine for me, and then just conversate. If you arent an agressive guy, just make good eye contact and listen after the initial ice breaker. Ask simple questions like "what music are you into?", things like that...

Dont worry, you'll do fine.

Teezy · #15 (**permalink**) 02-02-06, 01:53 PM

toohot4pants:what's the shotgun method?