How to properly handle/advance this situation? - Page 3 - Love Forum

DutchBoY · #31 (**permalink**) 20-03-06, 07:22 AM

just make known you're interested and be sure ball's in her court. If you get a reaction which indicates she's up for it, then you're in so to speak.

Just out of curiosity, how long has she been with her ex?

RogerWilco · #32 (**permalink**) 20-03-06, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DutchBoY

Just out of curiosity, how long has she been with her ex?

I'm not actually sure . . .

Tone · #33 (**permalink**) 20-03-06, 11:13 PM

Like DutchY said make it known you are interested in her without actually saying it... she also has to know that you're willing to give her time to get over her last relationship..

RogerWilco · #34 (**permalink**) 20-03-06, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

Like DutchY said make it known you are interested in her without actually saying it... she also has to know that you're willing to give her time to get over her last relationship..

I think that's the problem, figuring out exactly what to do/say to let her know I'm interested without flat out saying it, and also making sure she knows I'm not just pouncing on her because she just broke up or anything.

Rob26 · #35 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 01:08 AM

This woman has done just about everything she can to get you to ask her out!!

Don't tell her you're interested in her, just ask her out!!

Tone · #36 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob26

This woman has done just about everything she can to get you to ask her out!!

Don't tell her you're interested in her, just ask her out!!

She JUST got out of a relationship...

Depending on how long it was - I'd say give it a little bit of time.. you can still hang out/flirt/make out/whatever but just be sure she's ready to move on before jumping into the boat with you.

seanieb · #37 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

She JUST got out of a relationship...

Depending on how long it was - I'd say give it a little bit of time.. you can still hang out/flirt/make out/whatever but just be sure she's ready to move on before jumping into the boat with you.

Yeah, one of my best friends really liked this girl, she broke it off with a guy, and got really insyuted when he tried to catch her on the rebound, this was only like 2 days after.

stay at peace, and

: the situation, until you think it's right

RogerWilco · #38 (**permalink**) 25-03-06, 09:51 AM

Question: On a scale from 1-10, how lame is it to just sit down with a girl and explain your feelings for her flat out?

gingerbabe86 · #39 (**permalink**) 25-03-06, 02:10 PM

0... i wouldn't say that's lame at all but i have to question.. u don't even have the courage to ask her out on a date yet.. do u think u can explain u'r feelings flat out right in front of her? I'm not saying u'r a wuss or anything... i'm just trying to help. Seeing her as much as possible is a good thing for u but won't it be better if it's something u guys can do that's not related to class materials? At least that's a start, other than being just classmates. Bottom line, ask her out on a date dude... haha

clynn · #40 (**permalink**) 25-03-06, 08:54 PM

How long she was with her boyfriend may determine how long you need to wait before asking her out.

HOWEVER......just asking her out for coffee or a drink will be light and low pressure. I'd say go for it.

A couple weeks out of the relationship I am sure she is, at the very least, ready for a distraction.

RogerWilco · #41 (**permalink**) 26-03-06, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gingerbabe86

0... i wouldn't say that's lame at all but i have to question.. u don't even have the courage to ask her out on a date yet.. do u think u can explain u'r feelings flat out right in front of her? I'm not saying u'r a wuss or anything... i'm just trying to help. Seeing her as much as possible is a good thing for u but won't it be better if it's something u guys can do that's not related to class materials? At least that's a start, other than being just classmates. Bottom line, ask her out on a date dude... haha

It's not that I don't have the courage to ask her on a date, it's that she recently broke up with her boyfriend, and also the fact that we both have very hectic schedules and it's hard to coordinate anything outside of class. But I do see your point.

katy123 · #42 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 08:52 PM

Hi - well, from my perspective I'd rather a guy came out and said what he was thinking/feeling rather than leaving cryptic clues/messages (as in my case!) I'm sure she'd rather you were straight with her from the outset.

Perhaps arrange a time when you can get together away from class and hang out for a while as friends, see what happens. BUT if you like her, go for it. I know easier said than done. From reading your posts, it sounds like you're good friends and that is the basis upon which all good relationships are formed.

Keep us posted.

RogerWilco · #43 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katy123

Hi - well, from my perspective I'd rather a guy came out and said what he was thinking/feeling rather than leaving cryptic clues/messages (as in my case!) I'm sure she'd rather you were straight with her from the outset.

Perhaps arrange a time when you can get together away from class and hang out for a while as friends, see what happens. BUT if you like her, go for it. I know easier said than done. From reading your posts, it sounds like you're good friends and that is the basis upon which all good relationships are formed.

Keep us posted.

I think one of my problems is that I'm uncomfortable having other people knowing what I think. Which is maybe why I'm not always direct about things. I tend to think of myself as really observant in life, so then I assume everyone else is the same, and can easily pick up on little things here or there, which leaves me trying to protect myself by guarding my hand, so to speak.

That being said, you can imagine where my problem of being direct with how I feel with her comes in . . . plus, we see each other daily, so I just feel like it'd be awkward if I make it known how I feel and she doesn't reciprocate.

I know, I really need to stop thinking so much . . .

katy123 · #44 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 11:47 PM

Perhaps you should just take it as it comes then. Maybe say something when you feel the time is ready - but then is there ever a right time? I guess if the girl has just broken up from a long term relationship, she is going to need a little time and space to get her head straight. So rather then go straight in, do as you're doing at the moment, being a great friend and then let whatever happens next take its course. I can understand why you're reluctant to make a move, especially if you are going to have to see her on a day to day basis and she doesn't reciprocate. And here was me in old Blighty, thinking you Americans were more upfront - good luck, Roger xx

RogerWilco · #45 (**permalink**) 28-03-06, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katy123

Perhaps you should just take it as it comes then. Maybe say something when you feel the time is ready - but then is there ever a right time? I guess if the girl has just broken up from a long term relationship, she is going to need a little time and space to get her head straight. So rather then go straight in, do as you're doing at the moment, being a great friend and then let whatever happens next take its course. I can understand why you're reluctant to make a move, especially if you are going to have to see her on a day to day basis and she doesn't reciprocate. And here was me in old Blighty, thinking you Americans were more upfront - good luck, Roger xx

Haha. Shows just how useless generalizations can be. But you're probably right overall actually. I've just been burned a few times I guess so I'm less up front with my feelings now.

The one thing I want to avoid becoming is a total cuddle bitch. You know, the guy who the girl leans on for support, but remains just a friend.