jeez how do you forget a girl when u know there can't be anything. HS story...

[Off2College]

i'm a high school senior and i've had a crush on this girl in my school. We've had some very nice conversations and all, and i find that i've been able to "spill" my life experienes and emotions to her better than every other person that i've met (even more than my best friend of 7 years, and even my parents). Although i'm not a dating expert (infact, she's my first crush that i've worked towards), so i have no idea how to read her. She does share a lot of her life to me, like her heritage and stuff, but its definately not on the same level as some of the stuff that i've revealed to her. We went out once, but i think we both took it as a friendly date. When asked her out again, again on a friendly date, a week ago, but she pretty much rejected me by giving me an excuse that i can't tell if legit or not. although my intention was a friendly date to get to know her better, cause i got along a couple of my friends... (see, friendly night out).

But then start of school very recently, she's in one of my new classes, and everythings been quite "cold". Ie, first day of school, since things were a bit hectic, we didn't even say hi in class. Things got "warmer" now since at least we greet and whatnot, but i haven't had too much chance to talk to her cause she's one of those shy girls who just talks to like one good friend (female) and don't really try to meet new people, which is the situation in class right now.. theres this really hot girl (one of the hottest in grade) sitting behind me, and we've struck up friendly conversations and all, and i used to think that she's relaly hot and all, but now i don't find her good looking at all cuase i keep comparing every girl to the other girl...

I also see the girl everyday with her "clique", but although i've wanted to go there and chat with her, i keep feeling that i will just be "intruding" cause i don't know anyone else in her clique... or maybe i'm just a wimp. (NO! i'm not shy. I do a ton of leadership stuff and give killer impromptu presentations infront of 50+ people, and i'm quite socialble) Its just that when it comes to the girl, i don't know how to act.

I also don't talk to her that much on AIM either.. we used to have very long conversations, but now we hardly ever. and when we do, i end up doing the bulk of the talking.

I asked her to prom like a month or so ago, and she gave me an answer that i'm not sure if its a yes or no. its like along the lines of "hehe okay!", but i really don't know if thats a yes or just a nice way of saying "we'll see".

I keep telling myself that she's not the one for me, cause i keep feeling that i'm losing the game (although i know it can never be, which i'll explain in a sec)... Of course, i also feel jealoused over this other guy whom i'm sure is also going for this girl... But see, the deathblow to this situation is that i'll be leaving the city for good in 5 months for university. I'll either be at the other end of the country, or go to another country, while she will remain at the local university. I am never coming back to my city, and she will most likely never leave this city.

I tell myself to freaking forget her and stop thinking of any possibilities, but i can't seem to get her out of my mind (which has been true for the past 2 months). I'm really fed up with this. I want to just forget about her and look forward to new relationships in college, but i just can't seem to do so completely. Everytime i talk to her in person, i get this "cozy" feeling... that i know is beyond a mere desire to be friends.

How do you guys suggest i proceed from now? how do i forget her?

[Ellynn]

Well......you can either do your best to forget her and just move on with life always wondering.....what if..

Or you can be direct with her and find out how she feels about you and if she still wants to go to the prom....

I mean even if your gonna be leaving for college.....wouldn't you at least want to have some good times before you go? Even if its just as friends with her?

I mean i see how your conflicted becuz things were her can't turn into anything longterm....and maybe she knows that and thats why shes distancing herself.

I mean it really comes down to what you want.......and if you wanna forget about her....the best thing to do....is to move on......and just do your own thing until you leave. But that doesn't mean you can't be friends with her and keep in contact with her... You never know....

[Mike]

This thread had me shaking my head.

You seem to be making things complicated for yourself.

"i don't know anyone else in her clique" - Uhm, get to know the people in her clique? You're a confident person, it should be easy.

'"hehe okay!", but i really don't know if thats a yes or just a nice way of saying "we'll see".' - Unless you guys speak some kind of abstract language, 'okay' means yes. Don't ask her again, don't even give her a chance to say no.

"when we do, i end up doing the bulk of the talking" - This just says 'clingy' to me. Give it a rest - talking at her when she doesn't want to talk isn't going to do you any favours.

And if you're set on just forgetting about this girl, you've got to remember that when you 'meet new people' it doesn't have to be girls you fancy. You can meet new female friends as well.

[Pears]

Things seem pretty unclear in this situation. Like Ellynn said, find out whether or not she would like to go to prom with you. Try asking her again and don't just say okay if she doesn't know. Tell her that you don't mean to be troublesome, but you really want to know.

If she agrees with the prom date, then you can think about asking her out.

Since she has been avoiding you, or acting cold, be prepared for any rejection. There are plenty of other people you could take to the prom. Since you say you are outgoing. I have no trouble believing that you will find someone great to take.

[Off2College]

bleh now i don't really care that much about going out with her or trying to pursue any kind of "romance", since i know its all futile in the end. About the prom... I'm not desperate at all about going with a girl, in fact, I think it might be just as fun going with the guys... I guess its just a cool thing to go with a girl you like, but then again, i fear that the further i try to get this, the harder it would be at summer to say goodbye.

But I guess my current plan is to just wait until early april to see which university i'll get into, then if i'm in a good mood, i'll ask her again to prom for good. For now, I'll just try my absolute best to see her as a friend... since i can approach friends better than crushes. and maybe get her feelings when i have a chance. (although i think its all a futile effort at the end)

[Off2College]

k i think i've safely moved on. I just spoke with her online... and well... for one thing, her blog said her "date" for prom was her best friend. no hint/alluding to me at all.

furthermore, we talked about her future career, and i really don't like it. theres no ambition whatsoever. I'm very ambitious. I don't see myself with her. Its over. Good bye love forum. Only friends, afterall.