insecurity

[lilwing89]

how can insecurity be resolved?

[Rosebud]

Well you have to work on things that you like that boost your confidence about yourself. I really know what guys do but I would imagine working out would be a good one becasue you would feel good about yourself?

What is the insecurity associated with?

[lilwing89]

with my gf. like i think she is gonna like drop me forsomeone else

[indigosoul]

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
From Frank Herbert's Dune

[lilwing89]

i like that little except. u know, its mostly a jealousy thing i guess.. i dont want her to dance with other guys at the valentines day dance at my school. she wont even be my date to that!

[lilwing89]

especially bump and grind...

[clynn]

That's a good poem, indigosoul.

It is true, lilwing. You may not be able to conquer the insecurity - or perhaps uncertainty - but you can breathe deeply and know that you cannot control the emotions, feelings or actions of another person. Nor would you want to because if you did then you just be manipulating them into being with you, and it wouldn't be true.

So you can enjoy what you have while you have.

Of course you don't want to be taken advantage of, so it sounds like you might want to be aware.

[Debunkt]

i like that little except. u know, its mostly a jealousy thing i guess.. i dont want her to dance with other guys at the valentines day dance at my school. she wont even be my date to that!

Why wouldn't your gf be your date to a dance?

[lilwing89]

cuz her friend wouldnt go unless she went as a single

[clynn]

Well, you guys are pretty young and in the unique position (more than likely) of being one of the few 'couples' out of your groups of friends. Typically, at your age, it is more common to go to dances with groups of friends and meet your boyfriend / girlfriend there rather than go together (at least that was the case when I was that age - but that was ages ago!)

Maybe think about it this way .... the more she dances with other guys ... and still remains your special friend .... the more confidence you'll continue to build.

Plus the more you're friends, or become friends, with some of these other guys, the more security you'll have as well.

[Only-virgins]

cuz her friend wouldnt go unless she went as a single

That is stupid.

[lilwing89]

hey someone finally agrees with me ^^^ OV.

[Ellynn]

IF she makes you that insecure.....and won't even refer to you as her bf....and is grinding with other guys....then drop her.

I mean its normal to feel insecure....at first. But if your constantly feeling that way with her....and she is giving you reason to....then somethings not right...and only you can fix that... Try finding someone more mature who knows better then to play those games.

[ecm]

I kind of agree with Ellyn here.

It is hard to feel secure in a relationship where the woman won't even refer to you as her boyfriend, the guy I'm dating, or whatever.

And yes, there are often external reasons to feel insecure about something, but many times insecurity starts within.

Work on yourself -- your self confidence and self respect.

Then let this girl know you deserve better and she needs to come around on the couple of issues you have real problems with or she's gone.

[Converse]

Does she play mind games to make you feel insecure? If that's the case I hate it.