dancing and jealousy - Love Forum

lilwing89 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:01 AM

if you are a guy and you see your girlfriend dancing and/or bumping and grinding with another guy at a school dance, what is the best action to take and how are you supposed to feel?

lovesjoyajm · #2 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:03 AM

Personally, although people think of "bumping and grinding" as normal dancing, it seems very sexual. I would never want to see my significant other grinding with someone... although I don't know how I would tell them that.

lilwing89 · #3 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:05 AM

basically u feel a lot like me.

umm if i see her do it tho i might do something crazy.. i need to know how to handle this

lovesjoyajm · #4 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:07 AM

I think my opinion comes from seeing how guys view grinding - it turns them on a lot more than it turns girls on. (what doesn't??) Maybe tell your girlfriend that you feel like other guys are using her when they grind with her... that's how I would see it at least.

Debunkt · #5 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:10 AM

I wouldn't like it. You need to tell her that you won't like it. If she still wants to rub her booty on other guys' dinglelings, you need to consider your relationship.

gHEXjt · #6 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 11:41 AM

You sure as hell shouldn't feel good about it lilwing. That's just disrespectful to you and shows an extreme lack of caring on her part. You need to tell her how you feel about it, and that it really is bs for her to act that way. I really can't tell you much else...if I saw that happening w/my girl, my reaction would probably mirror what you're thinking you'd do if you saw it. Just keep in mind that after you attack the guy that's grinding w/your gf, you won't feel very good about it because you'll have just ended up making an ass of yourself, when otherwise she would come off looking like a complete *****. Best reaction to that, if she doesn't respect your feelings enough not to do it, is after you see it happen, you dump her, straight and simple.

clynn · #7 (**permalink**) 06-02-06, 01:16 PM

I think that this whole bumping and grinding dancing thing is something that kids do nowadays that they didn't do when I was in school.

Goodness knows....we had rules! about those sorts of things.

But things change....and now it seems acceptable.

STILL...it would make me really jealous and I even think that if schools enforced rules about bumping and grinding dancing it would be a good thing. I mean, hight school dances shouldn't be about that. They should be safe, fun, relaxed social atmospheres. But, like I said, things change, so I dunno...maybe I'm turning into an old fuddy-duddy.

Definitely communicating to her your feelings is a good idea.

Also, aren't you just anticipating this happening???? IT might not even happen. You might get there and she'll just spend the night dancing with all her girlfriends. Then again, it might be worth having a conversation about this kind of dancing upfront.

ALSO.....you're not supposed to feel anything one way or the other. What I mean by that is....feelings are just that - feelings. You can't control, nor should you try, how you feel about something. You can control your behavior and reactions to your feelings. But don't ever feel bad about feelings.

Tone · #8 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 12:20 AM

lilwing.

I have NO sympathy for you.

You're with a 14 year old girl who is ASHAMED to claim you as her boyfriend.

She's constantly proving her age by doing stupid immature shit like this to you.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT??

This isn't the movies man... I know what it's like to be young and you think life is going to play out like some perfect romantic comedy movie. IT'S NOT - real life is full of bullshit. And this girl is definately the defnition of BULLSHIT.

I know my post means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to you and you might think I'm just being an assh*le - but I'm dead ass serious trying to help you here. I just know conventional methods will not get through to you because you'll just respond with "I know I love her I know she loves me blah blah we are so perfect yadda yadda" so I have to be a lil rough with ya.

The only thing you can do to help BOTH her and yourself is to rid yourselves of this doomed relationship. And that's my honest opinion. Take it for what it's worth. Sadly - I think you'll just have to learn the hard way, like we all did. =/

Ellynn · #9 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 02:34 AM

All that I know is...if my bf(if I had one) was grinding up on some random girl....I would be pissed....and I would LET him know it!

Late_vamp · #10 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

All that I know is...if my bf(if I had one) was grinding up on some random girl....I would be pissed....and I would LET him know it!

exactly , howcome theres so many ladies here that actually make sense and out there they all seem so stupid ? actually most ARE stupid ... because when I talk to them they make little or no sense . What is the world coming too ?

lilwing89 · #11 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 05:23 AM

ya know, i did tell her how i felt and you know how it went?? 'im not planning on it...but i dont wanna lie, cause what if i did?'

shit like that. i know she has before at a wedding party this summer with a drunk college guy(she says because he made her dance but her best friend, who is also psychotic says she wanted to) and yea basically she wont commit at all.

and btw tone, i did end it, its been'just friends' for like 3 weeks now. and she says 'its sooooooo hard to not make out or cuddle or anything' and no shit i feel the same way. but still. and btw im looking for other girls to date. so basically she wants to be friends with benefits and she wants me to ask her back out in a month. how bullshitty is that?

Ellynn · #12 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 05:30 AM

Yeah why waste your time with that? Sad that shes 14 and doing that shit.....

Find someone worth your time....and can make up her mind about what she wants.

ecm · #13 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 09:37 PM

Two friends who have a tasteful dance is one thing. My dates have danced with male friends of theirs or mine in a couple of situations. I can even remember dancing with the wife of the man who owns the company I worked for then. But it was very respectful, tasteful and just dancing.

All this bumping and grinding -- mock sex really -- is another matter.

Tell her you don't like it and not to do it again. If she does it again, dump her.

Tone · #14 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 10:41 PM

Don't let her play you, lilwing - you're better than that, you hear me?

Glad to hear you're lookin for other girls.

vashti · #15 (**permalink**) 07-02-06, 11:16 PM

I am glad too, Lilwing. This girl has been nothing but trouble for you all along. I don't consider freak dancing anything more than foreplay, and as such, is tasteless in public.