Problem with european GF

[206-425]

I don't want to get too specific, but heres the deal. I have to explain my friends case first so you can understand my problem.

Friends case:

My friend dates a girl from the same country as my girlfriend, the girls are here for a student travel thing for only a year. Well My friends girlfriend is leaving because her one year is up, they're relationship got really serious and they are stuck in a crossroads and don't really know what to do.

My case:

I've been dating the girl for about a month and a half and it's going very well, except for the fact that she refuses to get serious because she doesn't want me and her to be stuck where my buddy and his girlfriend are stuck. Normally I would say whatever, but my problem is I'm really falling for her, I have had zero problems, annoyances, nothing, it's like the dream girlfriend I've been waiting for.

We had a somewhat serious talk about it and she told me that, and I told her I just wanted her to be happy, which is pretty much a lie, I want our relationship to be serious because I like having a bond like that.

I usually have to call her and when I do and shes doing something that is "slightly" important, she tells me to call her back, she refuses to go out of her way to talk to me. She tries to act like she doesn't care what I do.

I can't have a relationship when nothing is demanded from me. It just doesn't sit well.

I know this might sound weird coming from a guy but having a pure physical relationship with the girl is getting on my nerves.

She tries to act like we aren't something serious but I can see it in her eyes. The way she reacts when I see her. It's special, and she knows it shes here for atleast another 8 months depending on if she stays another year or not, but she always talks about going back after 8 months like she doesn't realize that it kind of hurts me to hear her say that.

What should I do?

Should I just try and relax and let our relationship last the 8 months and then peace, or try to convince her that we should take it to the next level, and if the latter how the hell am I supposed to do it? She knows I want something more serious already.

Oh and if it helps, I'm of legal age. This isn't a high school relationship.

[squirrley]

From a womans standpoint she doesnt sound like she wants anything serious at all here. She's given you EVERY indication and told you outright. Knowing she's leaving, I wouldnt get more involved, although Im sure its not easy especially if you've fallen for her. You've said she's like your dream girlfriend, but youre more into it than she is, so something tells me Id kick back if I were you.

You can tell her you want more out of this relationship, but are you willing to move to HER country to have this relationship? You have to think longterm, which sounds she is, knowing she wont be here.

Or you can just kick back and let things be as they are now. Its your call ultimately, but if she's telling you she doesnt want anything more than what you have, its a sign sweetie! Take the bull by the horns and let her know how you feel then go from there.

Goodluck

[206-425]

Thanks for the reply

No, I'm not willing to move to her country to continue the relationship. I guess now that I think about it I really knew that once she leaves, it's over, but I feal that instead of thinking constantly about her leaving and how she has to leave on whatever date, I wanted to have it progress like a normal relationship and worry about that later.

Me and her both know that in a different situation we would be getting into a serious relationship. Am I wrong to want to be shortsited?

[squirrley]

Honestly, I think if you continue to have the relationship you have now, it will be IMPOSSIBLE NOT to fall for her more, and expect more from her. If she thinks she can continue with just physical, she's got no emotion sweetie. Some people maybe be able to seperate sex from emotions, but Gawd, how awful in my opinion.

Think about just having a good time with her. Youre the only one who knows himself better than you, and if you dont think you can handle what it is, than dont have the physical part of the relationship, it will hurt you in the long run. Just food for thought.

[clynn]

Nope. You can't help your feelings.

[206-425]

Quote:

If she thinks she can continue with just physical, she's got no emotion sweetie. Some people maybe be able to seperate sex from emotions, but Gawd, how awful in my opinion.

She has emotion, but it seems like the emotion is only a physical attraction towards me. Maybe people from her country just express their fealings differently. This is why I can't make up my mind, because not only is there a cultural difference in how she is in a relationship, theres also somewhat of a language barrior. She's nearly fluent in english but theres still some problems that arise htere.

Quote:

Think about just having a good time with her. Youre the only one who knows himself better than you, and if you dont think you can handle what it is, than dont have the physical part of the relationship, it will hurt you in the long run. Just food for thought.

My mind is too damn complicated to just sit back and accept the good times, and tell myself I don't want something more. I cannot take the physical part of our relationship out of our relationship, or she will think something is wrong and (likely) end it completly.

I appreciate your responses.

[Late_vamp]

kick back and relax , enjoy the booty while you can ... i doubt she will change her mind unless your willing to move over there or something like that .