Hrmm..quite confused, help appreciated - Love Forum

Jenkies · #1 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 04:59 AM

I met a girl a week ago and we really started to get along great, and we've hung out every day since and have spent a lot of time together. We've had sex four times now, have slept in the same bed multiple times, taken showers together, made out and all that. And we both really like eachother, but this girl just recently broke up with a boyfriend like a month ago. Now I'm just confused on what to do, because we aren't technically dating or in a relationship, but all the factors are there in place like what I mentioned above. I think I made a mistake today asking her what her thoughts on going out were, and she just replied with 'maybe.' So I got the impression that I perhaps came on a little too strong and should not have said that. I really don't get it though, all of the elements of dating are in place, but we technically are not. And she says she doesn't like to rush into things, even though we have had sex, hung out a lot, slept in the same bed after only knowing eachother a week! What gives!? I just want to know if I should just wait and let things pan out and let her say something if she wants to or what? Because if we continue seeing a lot of eachother and having sex (which is going to happen) but never start a relationship or anything, I feel I am in for a big, big heartbreak down the road because I'm developing feelings for this girl because we get along so great. Any help is greatly appreciated, thank you.

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 05:11 AM

I don't think you came on too strong. She likes to take things slow? How is sleeping with you four times in the first week she knows you "taking things slow"?

I don't really see this going anywhere though. Sounds like she just wants to have random sex.

Tone · #3 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 05:14 AM

Yeah - sounds to me like this is a post the female would typically be making about the male... wow - she sounds pretty wild. When you're done with her, mind sendin her Lloyd's way??

Rosebud · #4 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 05:40 AM

Well This one you'll have to make your own decision as to whether you want to continue doing all this stuff and take a chance or let go and cut your losses. She hasn't given you a straight answer which sounds like she's looking for some fun or a rebound from her previous relationship. I personally think she is using you to get over her ex. And I would stop sleeping with her and tell her you don't want a fling (if you really don't) you can't worry about losing what you guys have or may potentially turn into because there's nothing establsihed yet and it sounds as though she doesn't want it to.

Lloyd95 · #5 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 05:59 AM

Yeah your the rebound guy; she just using you (for sex, could be worse). But yeah, send her my way....thirds.....ick.

Jenkies · #6 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 06:00 AM

Thanks for the replies guys, but I sort of disagree on the fact that she just wants a fling even though she never gave me a straight answer. I can tell she genuinely likes to spend time with me even though she likes to have sex also. We do stuff together and she calls me to hang out. I was just confused by the fact that she 'wants to take things slow.' She enjoys going out to clubs and such with me and I can tell by the fact that she always asks me to go. If she just wants random play with me then I am really confused by all the other signs of interest she shows in me and that doesn't really add up I don't think. Ughhh...why must women be difficult?

clynn · #7 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 06:21 AM

Maybe she's trying to protect herself?

Tone · #8 (**permalink**) 10-02-06, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lloyd95

But yeah, send her my way....thirds.....ick.

"But I'll take it!"

Gigabitch · #9 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 02:02 AM

Ouch! You're the Rebound Clown!

theguy · #10 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 02:46 AM

It's all a chess game my friend... You made a bad move... Everyone does. This girl now knows that she has swayed you enough to want to stay with her; while she need not worry about loosing you can concentrate on other factors. As hard as it is to do, you need to make her feel like shes the one who might loose you. You have to put those strong instinctive emotions aside. Dont always be available, the next time she wants to do something, be busy. If she still persues you after this you know shes a keeper, if she cant stand a few turndowns, and leaves for another guy, you really didnt loose anything. Above all make her feel like she is going to loose you, if she doesnt try to keep you

Jenkies · #11 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 06:56 AM

Thanks for the tips on this, but please I really don't need any more people telling me I'm just the rebound guy. At this point it really isn't helping me out too much, sorry

Only-virgins · #12 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenkies

I met a girl a week ago and we really started to get along great, and we've hung out every day since and have spent a lot of time together. We've had sex four times now, have slept in the same bed multiple times, taken showers together, made out and all that. And we both really like eachother, but this girl just recently broke up with a boyfriend like a month ago. Now I'm just confused on what to do, because we aren't technically dating or in a relationship, but all the factors are there in place like what I mentioned above. I think I made a mistake today asking her what her thoughts on going out were, and she just replied with 'maybe.' So I got the impression that I perhaps came on a little too strong and should not have said that. I really don't get it though, all of the elements of dating are in place, but we technically are not. And she says she doesn't like to rush into things, even though we have had sex, hung out a lot, slept in the same bed after only knowing eachother a week! What gives!? I just want to know if I should just wait and let things pan out and let her say something if she wants to or what? Because if we continue seeing a lot of eachother and having sex (which is going to happen) but never start a relationship or anything, I feel I am in for a big, big heartbreak down the road because I'm developing feelings for this girl because we get along so great. Any help is greatly appreciated, thank you.

You are wierd. Sex with a chick four times, no relationship, and that bothers you? ..uhhh houston, mission accomplished! is what I would say. Why do you even want a relationship with a person who has such random sex...unless you think there is something special about you lol.

clynn · #13 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 07:10 AM

You dont really know anything yet, its true.

You can just try taking it as it comes and hope for the best. You won't find out if you don't try.

Rosebud · #14 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenkies

Thanks for the tips on this, but please I really don't need any more people telling me I'm just the rebound guy. At this point it really isn't helping me out too much, sorry

Would you rather us not tell you what we think to try and help you?

Late_vamp · #15 (**permalink**) 11-02-06, 08:35 AM

i see it as , she misses having a BF and she found you , she is doing everything she was doing with the other guy except its you now ... thats why she jumped like 3 steps and went straight to sex and taking showers (something most couples get too after a couple of months of dating). She probably wasnt completely done being over her ex and you just picked up from where it ended .