Dating people at work - Love Forum

jane · #1 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 10:45 AM

A friend from work is dating a guy from work. She thinks that it's ok as long as you keep in the down low. What do you think? Is that possiable or is it openning a can of worms? Can you keep the person your dating at work a secret?

sfalexi · #2 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 11:32 AM

Depends how close you have to work with them. If it's someone in another department that you don't run into often at work, go for it. Why do I sound so cold? Because I've seen people date at work and when they get into a fight, they make the rest of their coworkers miserable for the rest of the day talking about why the other person is wrong. And when you're upset or angry or sad with the other person, and you have to see all day long, how easy is that gonna be? And if you start to date, but it turns out he was a jerk and took things way too fast and damn near tried to force himself upon you, how's it gonna feel working with him? You gonna feel safe if noone else is around? And what happens should you totally fall for him and he ends up asking just to be "friends"? How are you gonna feel having to look at that guy five days a week or whatever amount of time you are near each other? And when you are going out as a new couple and everything's going great, how are you going to concentrate on your work without constantly being reminded about last night's date or where you're going tomorrow if you see his face so often? And God forbid it affect you to the point where you are warned by a boss. Or God forbid he distract you unintentionally while you're doing something potentially dangerous.

sfalexi

PS - Just so we're clear, I would never date someone that I work with.

jane · #3 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 11:34 AM

first let me say that I am not talking about me....

I agree. I wouldn't do it either. It s too much drama. She really likes him and they get along. He works pretty close with her but they are really mature about everything. I wouldn't have known they were dating if she wasn't my friend. what do others think?

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 11:39 AM

No worries Jane. For the record, I never mean to snap at a certain person or anyone in particular, and if it sounds like that, then shame on me!

But I do feel strongly about this so I'm gonna state my views strongly about it.

Alexi<--- who until now DID think you were thinking of doing it was trying to convince you to spare yourself!

jane · #5 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 11:41 AM

oh hell no..
I love my job! i will not screw it up to get laid, believe me, i get that

#6 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 12:39 PM

Dating at work is a bad idea. Unless you're in different departments and don't see each other every 5 minutes.

LINEBACKER 2

veedive · #7 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 03:49 PM

I am self employed - its just me at my office - guess I have to love myself then - yuck!

Illusional · #8 (**permalink**) 13-11-03, 04:49 PM

well i think mainly it would depend on how close all the workers are at this working place, and how small this buisness is. if everyone knows the latest gossip on each other, then it's bound to be broken wide open soon. raverboy

spikerfox · #9 (**permalink**) 18-11-03, 01:31 AM

personally, i dont think there's nething wrong with dating people from work. My last relationship was with a guy i worked with and we hid it for almost a year from the people we worked with before telling neone. it really depends how far you're willing to go to hide the relationship

cheese_sausage · #10 (**permalink**) 18-11-03, 12:37 PM

i don't know why ppl would treat u like their boyfriend or girlfriend but they don't want to be together with u. there's a guy like that at work. i like him. i wanna tell him stop treating me like that. but i didn't. we work together, we sit sooooo close. i don't want things ugly. now, what i can do is avoid to go out w/ him alone. so annoying.

Jay-Tea · #11 (**permalink**) 18-11-03, 01:36 PM

Guess what? My officemate and I are in love with each other but we have no problems about it. I guess it's because our setting keeps us from getting too personal with each other in front of other people AND we're able to put things in proper perspective: Work is Work, Lovelife is Lovelife. When we have problems with each other though, it feels a little difficult but we manage to settle things right away in a very discreet manner. Our other officemates are aware of it but we have such good relationship among ourselves that no one has told the boss about it

Because although it is not a strict rule around here, it is just something they don't really encourage.
Simply, it's not about wether it's right or wrong. But it's really about these: Does it totally violate a company policy? Are both of you mature enough to handle it in the most appropriate way, specially when dealing with conflicts? Does your colleagues permit/ tolerate it? The third question refers to the fact that getting along with everyone in your office (or at least 90% of them

) matters in order to maintain a conjucive working atmosphere.
My experience is far from perfection nor total bliss. But I am quite happy

Illusional · #12 (**permalink**) 19-11-03, 08:54 AM

cheese_sausage... now there is a name that you don't hear everyday. raverboy

#13 (**permalink**) 19-11-03, 08:57 AM

There's an explanation for that one Raverboy. It all stems back to the "I eat cheesies and watch porn all day". Hence, cheese-sausage.

LINEBACKER 2

cheese_sausage · #14 (**permalink**) 19-11-03, 01:41 PM

linebacker's mind is so dirty. well, i think when i watch porn, i would do something else instead of eating cheesies.