Adult children living at home with parents... - Love Forum

Jeblina · #1 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 04:52 PM

I am a 21 year old single mom, who is currently living with my mom while I'm finishing my schooling. I have a question that I want to ask my mom about something that I want to do, but would like some other opinions before I get around to asking her....

Basically, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship...more friends than "mother-daughter"...my mom insists that we "share" the house, and both have rights to use it (as in, having people over, etc.)...but it IS her house. I am now seeing someone (I haven't really dated anyone since I've been living with her), and I would like for them to come over and stay the night (not to have sex...just to spend more time together....seriously).

What is your opinion on this? Is it a reasonable thing to ask for? Or completely inappropriate and out of the question?

Thanks

DutchBoY · #2 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 04:54 PM

oif you and your mom are so slose and have more of a friends relationship I don't see your problem.

Cybog · #3 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 04:59 PM

uh, she said it was alright, so what's the problem?

The real issue is what sort of guy actually agrees to go home with a single mother and sleep with her at her mom's house...

Of course, you didn't point out the sexuality of the person you have been seeing, so it is possible you are pinch hitting.

Jeblina · #4 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

uh, she said it was alright, so what's the problem?

The real issue is what sort of guy actually agrees to go home with a single mother and sleep with her at her mom's house...

She said it was alright for me to have people OVER when I wanted....the subject of having people STAY over has never been brought up.

I don't think that the issue at all is the "type" of guy who would come stay at my house...circumstances being what they are (kinda long distance relationship), I don't think it factors into the equation...

Cybog · #5 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 05:09 PM

Why are you asking us instead of her? haha

If you guys are as close as you say you are, then flat out ask her and see what she says. What we say has no bearing on the situation.

Jeblina · #6 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

Why are you asking us instead of her? haha

If you guys are as close as you say you are, then flat out ask her and see what she says. What we say has no bearing on the situation.

Isn't this what the forum is about...getting advice from people who are (supposedly) more experienced in situations like this? Why am I asking on here first? I want to know whether it's even reasonable to bother asking with....I'm asking for an opinion.

Yes, my mom and I do have a great relationship...but she's still my mom. I guess, as good a relationship as I have with my mom, I still don't like to talk about my personal life with her very much...I guess I'm concerned that if I ask, and the answer is no, it could cause some issues with my mom and I down the road.

This is why I'm looking for an opinion...whether it's even a reasonable thing to ask...or it could be more trouble than it's worth.

Cybog · #7 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 05:24 PM

Our scientists, hard at cracking this problem, have come to this conclusion:

blackiesharley · #8 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 07:49 PM

Here's my take on it. I don't see a problem, especially if you and your Mother are so close.

My 92 YO Mother lives with me. I felt a little akward, even at my age, one night a girl (Xmas girl for those that have been following my saga) stayed over. Yet, it's not like I'm bringing a different girl home every night. Plus, they had met several times and really liked each other. The three of us even made breakfast together.

It depends upon the circumstances but I don't think it's disrepectfull at all in this case.

Kieran · #9 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 08:03 PM

I'd be ok with it if I were your mom.. mainly because if I were your mom I would have boobies... mmm boobies..

Don't worry too much about it.. but you might as well drop the long distance relationship because they never... ever... EVER work... ever.

vashti · #10 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 08:53 PM

Hi Jeblina - long time no talk to! Well, since I am a parent, I will give you my perspective.

Despite what you are seeing from the male posters who may or may not have children, many, many parents are not comfortable with the idea of their child having sex. Parents like to see that the "outsider" is committed to and LOVES their child, truly and deeply, before they are having sex, and for many "proof" of this type of relationship means marriage. Does this mean they don't think their child is having sex? Probably not, but if you think it is yucky to think about your parents having sex, it is twice as disturbing to think about your child having sex, so many parents refuse to think about it at all and don't appreciate it when presented with undeniable proof, especially when their child is only 21.

Whether or not your mom will be okay with it depends on how traditional she is. I consider myself only moderately traditional, and I would not think much of a guy who would come and sleep in my house with my 21 year old daughter. If he wants to do that, he could at least pop for a hotel room.

PS: Ignore the boys. I think it is great you are sensitive to the possibility that your mother may be uncomfortable. Hopefully your daughter will repay this show of respect one day.

misombra · #11 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 09:05 PM

that's just one of the major disadvantages that goes along with living your parent/s.

Lloyd95 · #12 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 09:30 PM

If you're that close with her, it couldn't hurt to ask. If she seems uneasy about it, let it go and don't bring it up again. It is, after all, her house.

TAVS · #13 (**permalink**) 22-02-06, 10:03 PM

Just depends on your Mom. My mom has never had a problem with it; especially at 21+

Jeblina · #14 (**permalink**) 23-02-06, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kieran

Don't worry too much about it.. but you might as well drop the long distance relationship because they never... ever... EVER work... ever.

That's why I said it was a KINDA long distance relationship. I see him every day up at his work...but other than that, he lives about 45 mins away from me....currently, his truck is out of service, so he can't come see me...and I can't go stay with him because, 1) I have a 2 year old who is very used to a routine at night and my mom won't let me leave my daughter with her for the whole night, and 2) he's living with his boss right now (can we say akward?)

Kieran · #15 (**permalink**) 23-02-06, 12:22 AM

Can we say "get a new boyfriend?"

It's going to end in tears..

Go on a dating site!