How does this usually work? - Love Forum

bbb · #1 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 04:36 AM

Hey all! I am new to the dating world for sure. In fact, I've only been on four dates (roughly) and I'm 30 years old. Up until 8 or so months ago I was in a relationship w/ my high school sweetheart that lasted nearly 14 years. So I've never had to date or experience all that fun stuff that it entails cuz I thought I was with the "one". As it stands.....that was not the case. I've dated a couple women since the fallout, but nothing that seemed to have any promise or potential. Until a couple weeks ago that is. I've met a woman and we've gone for drinks once, dinner a time or two, and I've stayed over at her place three times (lotsa movies). She's a completely independent, successful, attractive, mentally competent 33 year old woman w/ her own home, boats, snowmobiles, etc.... this last weekend she took me on a family outing to a cabin in the hills for some snowboarding, snowmobiling and poker w/ her and all her siblings & parents (the parents loved me). It was a great time! I hit it off well w/ her older brother and her sisters right away. I know she has some interest in me, and I in her. We haven't had sex or really even made out really heavily yet (we're both pretty old fashioned). But when we are together we do a lot of sensual touching, massaging, and talking. Most of the time we can't keep our hands to ourselves in those regards. But somewhere during this weekend It seemed like she was pulling away? Instead of being all into me like usual, she was kinda distant. This is the first time she's been around me in the presence of her family or friends, not sure if that is part of it or what? I started to wonder if she doesn't think I'm all that interested in her since I haven't asked her to be my lady? I'm not sure? I know that I am interested in "dating" her exclusively and I think she may be as well? I'm not sure how this usually works though? How do two people usually decide to make things exclusive? Little love notes w/ check yes or no on em? LOL I know the best thing to do is to talk w/ her and put it all on the table since we have yet to discuss what we want out of any possible relationship together yet. But I thought I'd bounce it off y'all first. I feel completely clueless! Thanks for any advice you can offer.

TAVS · #2 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 04:42 AM

Can't help ya BBB; I just discovered this whole notion of making the dating official a year ago. I can't help you, because I've never had the need to make it official; it's just been assumed. I only date one person at a time; and those I've dated have been of the same idea.

bbb · #3 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 04:51 AM

I guess that's another Q then. Is it usually assumed? If so, what criteria is used for that assumption? LOL It all seems so complicated.

Rosebud · #4 (**permalink**) 21-03-06, 04:55 AM

I think so, or at least in my case it has been. And BBB, I think it's a very good possibility should was distant because of her family being around and such. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I also woulnd't let it go if it bother's you.

I know people say not to have a big conversation with someone right away. But I would at least make it known to her how you feel about her...your happy being with her, you like spending with her, and so on.....and watch her reactions to what she says in response to those!