Interesting situation... - Love Forum

Jeblina · #1 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 01:46 AM

I had a close friend of mine come to me with an issue that she's been having....and I found myself stumped....so I thought that I might come here and pose the question to you all (I also assumed that since you guys think I'm crazy for dating "Captain ****stick" again....you might be able to give better advice that I could)

Anyway...she's been dating a guy for a while...not a long while....and things have been great....she said that everything was flowing perfectly...everything was very comfortable, and they were very much in love. Recently, the ex girlfriend of the guy found out about their relationship, and tried starting some drama....well, apparently, the ex's drama worked, and my friend and her boyfriend ended up in a huge fight while he was at her place, and he ended up just leaving, on foot, no ride....he just left. The next day, he called and apologized for leaving, and then proceeded to tell her that he wasn't really sure what he wanted, and just needed some time to think things over....that he did really love her, and was very much IN love with her....but was scared that his relationship with her was going down the same road that it did with the ex. She told him to take whatever time he needed to think about things, and that she loved him very much....and very much wanted to be with him....but only if he wanted to be with her. It was left at that....she hasn't called him...she's wanted to give him his space....but it's been 4 days now, and she's wavering now on what to do.

She doesn't know whether to call him or not....she wants him to know that she cares....but that she's giving him his space. Any advice that I can pass along to her?

Tuff Luv · #2 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 01:59 PM

My advice would be to call him. If nothing else, a friend is always nice to talk to in a situation like that. If she does call him, she needs to be compassionate to his situation, she needs to understand that he's going through a tough situation.

daisy · #3 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuff Luv

My advice would be to call him. If nothing else, a friend is always nice to talk to in a situation like that. If she does call him, she needs to be compassionate to his situation, she needs to understand that he's going through a tough situation.

Think the same - she needs to call hima and to talk to him about this situation.

Power Diva · #4 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 08:30 PM

If this has happened since the ex has got involved and suddenly decided she cares, I would say he still has feelings for the ex. In my experience ex's can be ignored and no longer need to affect your current relationship............ unless you want them to.

Jeblina · #5 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 09:08 PM

Hmmmm.....interesting.....I told her to NOT call him....just so that he didn't feel like she was trying to smother him, and so that she was giving him the time that he needed to think things through. She did tell me that when he told her that he needed some time to think, he also said..."Maybe I should just go back into hiding again..."....he's done this before....where he'll just disappear for a while, come back, and everything's okay. I told her that I thought that if somebody said that, she was probably better off just giving him his space....and letting him miss her for a while (although too much of that is just playing a game, and that's stupid). I don't know...she's stressed....need more opinions please!

vashti · #6 (**permalink**) 27-03-06, 09:56 PM

If he loves her so much, I don't think he would let this much time pass without contacting her after their argument, nor would he have a history of this sort of behavior. People GET what they are willing to tolerate.

This relationship doesn't sound like a keeper to me.

TAVS · #7 (**permalink**) 28-03-06, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

If he loves her so much, I don't think he would let this much time pass without contacting her after their argument, nor would he have a history of this sort of behavior. People GET what they are willing to tolerate.

This relationship doesn't sound like a keeper to me.

x2................

Jeblina · #8 (**permalink**) 28-03-06, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

If he loves her so much, I don't think he would let this much time pass without contacting her after their argument, nor would he have a history of this sort of behavior. People GET what they are willing to tolerate.

This relationship doesn't sound like a keeper to me.

I would tend to agree...I guess I'm a bit biased because of all the GREAT things she's called and told me about this guy....maybe I should call her and tell her that her best bet might be to call this guy and suggest they take some time off from one another... (damn...I hate being the bearer of bad news)

vashti · #9 (**permalink**) 28-03-06, 06:10 AM

I have always found it to be best to let my friends work out their own relationship issues. That way, you can avoid being blamed if things work out badly.

It is different on a forum, where you have some degree of anonymity...

carpflounder · #10 (**permalink**) 28-03-06, 07:41 AM

Its hard to give good advice here because the specifics of their argurment are unknown. Perhaps you could tell us a little about the exe's drama.

I think there is a lot more to this story. Just based on what you said though about him leaving and not calling for 4 days is not impressive at all.

Gigabitch · #11 (**permalink**) 29-03-06, 01:07 AM

For some reason, four days is significant to me. That's a significant amount of time, even in Boy Time. He should have called her by now. I think it's time to call him and ask WTF.

Jeblina · #12 (**permalink**) 29-03-06, 03:17 AM

Today is day 6....she still hasn't called him...she ran into him yesterday....he wouldn't even look at her....and certainly didn't talk to her......she called me to tell me this morning that when she woke up, he had called her cell phone once at 11PM...but hadn't left a message (which is strange...as he ALWAYS leaves messages).....I'm wondering if he was drunk-dialing

Gigabitch · #13 (**permalink**) 29-03-06, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeblina

I'm wondering if he was drunk-dialing

I concur.

Poor your friend. No saving that steaming pile of history now.

carpflounder · #14 (**permalink**) 29-03-06, 04:02 AM

He is seeing someone else. Case Closed.

Jeblina · #15 (**permalink**) 29-03-06, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carpflounder

He is seeing someone else. Case Closed.

My personal opinion is that he's still in love with his ex....since all of this sh*t revolves around the time that the drama with the ex occured, it seems only logical that THAT drama may have caused him to think about his ex....and realize that he still loved her....and didn't really know what he wanted.