My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!! - Page 2 - Love Forum

vashti · #16 (**permalink**) 30-03-06, 12:11 PM

I disagree. Life is too short to not dance because your partner can't. Are you really so selfish that you would deny her the pleasure?

This is all a matter of whether or not you trust her off the dance floor. Do you? If so, then be proud that she knows how to dance. Just tell her to keep it clean.

#17 (**permalink**) 30-03-06, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

I disagree. Life is too short to not dance because your partner can't. Are you really so selfish that you would deny her the pleasure?

You have got to be joking me. I love how things get twisted around.

Are you a feminist?

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

This is all a matter of whether or not you trust her off the dance floor. Do you? If so, then be proud that she knows how to dance. Just tell her to keep it clean.

Is it natural to trust your girlfriend after she completely pushes you away and then starts dancing with other guys in front of you?!

Wait, the exact words were:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave415415

she told me to go away and that im a sh!t dancer!

And your suggestion is to tell her to keep it clean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave415415

but what hurts me she is dancing really close to them by touching her legs and waist.

He is definitely the selfish one here.
[For the slow: the above was sarcasm.]

vashti · #18 (**permalink**) 30-03-06, 09:39 PM

OK let's use a sports analogy. Let's say you love basketball, and your girlfriend likes it, too. You are very good at it, but she isn't. She insists that you allow her to play with you, so you let her, but you know she sucks, and you know you'd have a hell of a lot more fun playing with people who were more talented and knew how to play the game.

Are you really trying to say that you should forever be stuck playing B-ball with her just because she wants to? I think not.

If the original poster has other issues about trust with his girl, then by all means he should pay attention to that. However, simply dancing with other people is not a criminal act, and if her behavior is limited to wanting to dance with people who know how to, I don't see a problem. You guys don't own your girlfriends, you know.The way she does/does not treat him is a separate matter, which he didn't ask for advice about. He wanted to know about the dancing, which is what I am addressing.

Skatechild - since you are apparently unaware of what feminism means, I am providing you with the dictionary definition: Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. So am I a feminist? Damn right I am (although admittedly, I am far from an extremist). Which part of that definition do you take exception to?

RogerWilco · #19 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

OK let's use a sports analogy. Let's say you love basketball, and your girlfriend likes it, too. You are very good at it, but she isn't. She insists that you allow her to play with you, so you let her, but you know she sucks, and you know you'd have a hell of a lot more fun playing with people who were more talented and knew how to play the game.

Are you really trying to say that you should forever be stuck playing B-ball with her just because she wants to? I think not.

If the original poster has other issues about trust with his girl, then by all means he should pay attention to that. However, simply dancing with other people is not a criminal act, and if her behavior is limited to wanting to dance with people who know how to, I don't see a problem. You guys don't own your girlfriends, you know.The way she does/does not treat him is a separate matter, which he didn't ask for advice about. He wanted to know about the dancing, which is what I am addressing.

Skatechild - since you are apparently unaware of what feminism means, I am providing you with the dictionary definition: Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. So am I a feminist? Damn right I am (although admittedly, I am far from an extremist). Which part of that definition do you take exception to?

I understand why you're making that analogy, but the issue here isn't the fact that she doesn't want to dance with him (because she's a good dancer and he's not, or whatever), but the MANNER in which she went about communicating this to him.

If my girlfriend wanted to play basketball with me and some friends, and I took the ball from her and said "no way, you suck", then proceded to ask some other girls to play on my team, you can bet your ass I probably wouldn't be her boyfriend much longer.

vashti · #20 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 04:45 AM

I agree, but that just goes to show you that this isn't a "dancing" issue. They have other problems.

RogerWilco · #21 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

I agree, but that just goes to show you that this isn't a "dancing" issue. They have other problems.

Definitely. Which is why I'm suggesting that it might not be a bad idea to start shopping for a new soul mate.

vashti · #22 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:02 AM

I see your point, but he says everything is great EXCEPT for the dancing. If he doesn't have a problem with being treated this way, I certainly don't, and since dancing is not the issue...

RogerWilco · #23 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

I see your point, but he says everything is great EXCEPT for the dancing. If he doesn't have a problem with being treated this way, I certainly don't, and since dancing is not the issue...

My take on it is, dancing itself isn't the issue, it's just a manifestation of a large underlying theme of her perhaps not respecting him or whatever. A girl who loved you would not act like a total bitch like that and make her boyfriend feel like shit on purpose.

vashti · #24 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RogerWilco

My take on it is, dancing itself isn't the issue

Good, we agree.

RogerWilco · #25 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Good, we agree.

Haha, right. But where we differ is, I see it as a symptom of a larger problem, whereas I'm not sure exactly what youre specific take on it is, but it seems like you feel it should just all be forgotten?

I'm certainly not trying to start an argument with you at all, just trying to clarify exactly where you're coming from, that's all. It's good to be able to look at several sides of an issue.

vashti · #26 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:28 AM

OK, to clarify - being treated this way would obviously be a problem for me, but the original poster seems to think everything is fine other than the dancing. Who am I to argue? It is his life, and maybe he genuinely doesn't feel anything else is amiss. In any case, the dancing is not the problem.

#27 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

OK let's use a sports analogy. Let's say you love basketball, and your girlfriend likes it, too. You are very good at it, but she isn't. She insists that you allow her to play with you, so you let her, but you know she sucks, and you know you'd have a hell of a lot more fun playing with people who were more talented and knew how to play the game.

Are you really trying to say that you should forever be stuck playing B-ball with her just because she wants to? I think not.

Of course not, he shouldn't forever be stuck with her. But honestly, if my girlfriend sucked, I would let her practice with me to become better (given, naturally, that I am decent as basketball in the example). Perhaps I could also include others to teach her how to play the game.

The same thing goes for the dancing. She shouldn't have treated him that way, period.

By the way, before I forget, sorry about my incorrect definition of "feminist." -_-

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave415415

after a while she told me to go away and that im a sh!t dancer! that made me feel bad, any way she then started dancing with other men while i was watching her looking like an idiot by my self! but what hurts me she is dancing really close to them by touching her legs and waist.
Im just worried that when she goes out without me she does more than dancing with them i mean kissing i dont think she will get in bed with them. I have spoke to her about it but she thinks its OK!!

Most of the post is about how she treats him (which also includes dancing in front of other men). Therefore, I disagree your statement here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

The way she does/does not treat him is a separate matter, which he didn't ask for advice about.

Perhaps he didn't directly ask, but he did indirectly! He said that it hurts him and that "any help" would be great, obviously about the entire situation.

Just like RogerWilco said, I'm not trying to start an argument, I'm just looking at a different perspective of things.

P.S. I don't go by "Skatechild" o.0

xxwildchildxx · #28 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 08:06 AM

Your girlfriend sounds like a mean one! You definitely need to talk to her about this as it seems your relationship may have some problems you weren't aware of.

Rosebud · #29 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

Just like RogerWilco said, I'm not trying to start an argument, I'm just looking at a different perspective of things.

P.S. I don't go by "Skatechild" o.0

ugh... if you would quit picking apart people's posts and actually read what they are writing you would already understand what she means.

She is stating the relationship is not about the dancing at all...they obviously have other issues in their relationship for this to happen in the first place.

Quit picking on other people's posts and start trying to help the original poster..Your not doing any good by pointing out everyone's else's comments! The only reason I'm even sayign this to you now is because I have seen you do this over and over and give horrible advice on situations which you know nothing about or have never experienced..

vashti · #30 (**permalink**) 31-03-06, 11:05 AM

...on the other hand, he did admit that his definition of the word "feminist" was wrong, which takes some degree of humility, so maybe there is hope for him...

Skater - I guess it is just a matter of which parts of his posts you are interested in focusing on. I decided to take the more optimistic route since he sounds like he wants to keep her.