Laying it on the line

[lovesjoyajm]

There's a guy I like, whom I've made many posts about (the [straight] ballet dancer.) At this point, we've kissed once, about a month or so ago, and haven't talked about it since then. We've had normal, friendly, interesting conversations, and I still like him.
Thing is, there are only 6 weeks left in the semester, and for all I know, we could end up never seeing each other again after the semester ends. So I've been trying to figure out what to do. My question is, how would you (guys) react - well, girls too I suppose, but the relevant case here is guys - if a girl in a similar situation, one whom you had kissed but nothing more, just laid it all out there?
Here's the "it": "I really like you. The reason I stopped kissing you was because I had no way of knowing if we were on the same page regarding 'how far to go', since I'm saving sex for marriage. But I've thought about it a lot, and if you have any interest in a relationship, I'd really like to give it a try."

Would that freak you out? Do you have any other suggestions, or better ways for me to get this across?

[Gigabitch]

I love how up-front you are about your decision to save it. I'll bet you get a lot of flack for it, but you just keep on being you.

I've read some of your posts about this guy, but I don't remember- has he ever had a girlfriend? Does he date at all? I think you should ask him out.

They say that when you're old, you only regret the things you didn't have the nerve to do.

[RogerWilco]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm

There's a guy I like, whom I've made many posts about (the [straight] ballet dancer.) At this point, we've kissed once, about a month or so ago, and haven't talked about it since then. We've had normal, friendly, interesting conversations, and I still like him.
Thing is, there are only 6 weeks left in the semester, and for all I know, we could end up never seeing each other again after the semester ends. So I've been trying to figure out what to do. My question is, how would you (guys) react - well, girls too I suppose, but the relevant case here is guys - if a girl in a similar situation, one whom you had kissed but nothing more, just laid it all out there?
Here's the "it": "I really like you. The reason I stopped kissing you was because I had no way of knowing if we were on the same page regarding 'how far to go', since I'm saving sex for marriage. But I've thought about it a lot, and if you have any interest in a relationship, I'd really like to give it a try."

Would that freak you out? Do you have any other suggestions, or better ways for me to get this across?

For me, I don't think that'd freak me out. Of course, that might be more of a continuum kind of thing, where it would depend on how I felt about the girl. Obviously if there was any mutual feeling on my part, I'd definitely view it as a good thing.

Of course, he might be thinking the same thing as you. I'm in sort of a similar situation (but haven't actually kissed this girl or anything), and I'm mulling it over in my head time and time again whether or not to talk to her about how I feel since we're both graduating college in May and going on to other things. We'd be 2-3 hours away. And honestly right now I think I'm probably trying to find reasons to back out of it and just push my feelings on the backburner so that I don't have to risk putting myself out there and getting hurt if it doesn't look like things will work out and we just end up parting ways and whatever.

Buuuuuut back to your situation . . . I think you should definitely consider doing that. I'd advise going about it in a manner so as to not make it seem weird or a huge production. If he's a pretty sensible guy, and you can talk to him seriously and maturely, he should be open to the conversation at least, and it doesn't have to be any kind of uncomfortable situation.

The bottom line is, if you're interested in him, and can honestly tell yourself that you'd be interested in/willing to try to have a relationship with him even if you're going your separate ways, then you should go after him. Otherwise you'll spend forever wondering "what if."


Disclaimer: I am terrible at taking my own advice. But I at least hope this helps.

[lovesjoyajm]

He broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months in September or October. (Me: "how was your weekend?" him: "not so good. i broke up with my girlfriend. 8 months.") I don't know anything else about his dating experience. He is only 18 (I'm 20.)
If he weren't so unreliable, this would be easier - he doesn't answer/return phone calls very often, and doesn't have internet at his house, so he only checks it when he goes to class. Which is not very often... lol

Thanks for your support

[Gigabitch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm

If he weren't so unreliable, this would be easier - he doesn't answer/return phone calls very often, and doesn't have internet at his house, so he only checks it when he goes to class. Which is not very often... lol

Thanks for your support

He sounds kind of unavailable, but what do you really have to lose?

[lovesjoyajm]

Thanks Roger!!

Yeah, I think the hardest part is if it turns out he does want a relationship, and then we only have 6 weeks together.

My feelings for him have gotten kind of confused recently because of this other guy (who's leaving on Friday) being in the picture. But when I think about, I've liked him (the ballet dancer) for months, A LOT, and the other guy is just kind of a random, here-then-gone kind of thing. If anything, it's given me a little more confidence, feeling wanted by this other guy, and also a realization that if things don't work out with Ballet Boy, I will find someone else.

Again with the being bad at taking my own advice...

[Tone]

Wouldn't freak me out... if I've already kissed her and hung out several times I think I'd kind of suspect it by now.

[clynn]

I think that you should just ask him out on a date and not get into the whole sex before marriage thing.

Be clear that you have a crush on him and that you want to date him.

But bringing up the whole sex before marriage thing before you even have a first date seems unnecessary.