hi i have posted my prb maybe in the wrong area before so i repost it here hoping to find some advice or get some comments from you guys
HELP HELP HELP
i have just ended my first long relationship becoz we couldn't live together peacefully. while i was breaking up i kind of dreamed a week after about a guy that used to go to the same school and same class we used to sit very close to each other, he was just a freind i always wished my ex was like him but it never happened that i thought about him personnaly. but few weeks a go i had that dream (never did before) it satrted as freinds just talking about his ex and how they broke up then we finished by kissing(it's just a dream) i woke up right away wondering why i had such a dream and why him, he was in front of me 5days a week for a year and never thought i'll think about him.
since my dream, i kind of started thinking about him and thinking why do i think about him is it just a dream or i really have feelings for him?!!! . i kind of sent him an email few days later just wondering where he is since he didn't show up for more than a month. he came to school the next day. he wanted to talk to me i kind of was happy and nervous just like a baby so i tryed to control myself. he asked me how i'm doing and how is school going on, then asked about my ex( he always does,no one else asks me about my bf but him) which i just said he is ok i didn't say i broke up,he told me for the second time i think you should break up with him saying that he heard 2 semesters ago that i was having probs, i just said yeah but i can't hurt him (i don't know why i said that)
he stopped talking for few seconds, i asked him about himself what was he up to lately.
he apparently was working which he always does. so and he says that he is going home the next day i felt so sad ;very sad, he was kind of excited to go home, i asked him about his ex wondering is he still alone or .. so he was available but willing to look for someone back home maybe i felt sad even more but at the same time i was happy for him. after that i left for maybe 15 minute, and came back he was still there saying bye to the others, and while passing by him he grabed my hand and did nothing just grabed it so i really like that but i had to go back to my seat because everyone was watching. he finished talking to his freind came and gave me his business card and i said we will miss you but i was meaning i will,he gave me a big hug and i hugged him back which i wish he hugs me for ever. he said he is going to call once he comes back here again which is in october. i miss him but i try to convince myself that he never meant anything and he just was freindly but the other part of me says he may likes me too.
some of the stuff that kind of make me believe he might likes me are:
he used to talk to me more than the others in some cases( like asking me what car to get, or talking about some stuff that he usually don't talk about with others. ( one of my freinds and classmate noticed that). one day we had to find each other's personalities ( assignement)and it was me and him trying to do so the others finished in 30minute we talked for more than 3 hours, and both were so impressed by each other's personality maybe i was more then he did( he is just great) the same and same day we had to exchange pictures and put them on a board while presenting each other in front of the rest of the class, he put only a copy of my pic and decided to keep mine by saying i want to do something with it, 4 months later i saw it in his note book that he carry with him everywhere, and i kind of took it saying : u didn't do anything with it you are probably busy!! and i had no idea that he might liked me or so ,i was so busy with my personal life to see what's going on.
with all that i still convince myself that he 'll never like me and i'm not his type, and the fact that i' from a different world continent, culture background, religion... he will never think of me and also i kind of gain weight last 5 years not over weight but i have to loose some i don't like my body this way.
i know many things about his personality that maches the man of my dreams and all the girls at school likes him or have a crush on him
i don't know what do i have is it crush, love, or just admiration, some of my freinds told me to forget it, the others encourage me to tell him.
if i can't forget it how do you find out if a freind loves you or not? if they might be a chance or not.
i really need some of your opinions and suggestions need help
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