I want to stay at my boyfriend's house but my mama allow it - Love Forum

Babydoll · #1 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 05:59 AM

OK so I've been with my boyfriend a year now.. he's 20 and I'm 16.. and we've been sleeping together about 4 months. I told my mum I wanted to sleep with him so she took me to the doctors to get contraception. She's good with that sort of thing. I can tell her almost anything.
I asked her a few weeks after I got the pill if I could stay at his house and she said no. I asked why and the only reason she would give me is 'Cause you're only 16!!'
I may only be 16.. but at 16 she allows me to go to town.. get drunk.. in a far more dangerous environment than my boyfriend's home.. yet she knows I'm sleeping with him.. but she won't let me stay at his house.. or let him stay in my room when he stays here.
I'm 17 next friday. My boyfriend and I are very happi together.. but it is a bit of a pain in the arse.. seeing as he has to drive 25 miles to see me and back every week. He usually ends up driving back at 1 in the morning because he doesn't like staying here with me practically in the next room and if he takes me to his.. I can't stay there.
I have stayed at his before but without my mum's knowledge. But I don't want to lie to my mum because like I said.. she is like my best friend.
Once I'm 17 I'm going to pop the question again.. but I'm worried she'll say 'youre only 17!'.
What are your opinions on this and what do you think I should say or do?

Moonchild · #2 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 07:24 AM

Your mother's your mother. She's trying to take care of you, and she's not doing this sort of thing just to tick you off. If she's set on it, nothing you say or do will change her mind, so whatever we tell you won't matter much. Just hope for the best, ask again after your birthday. You may have to keep sneaking around if you want to stay over there. As for what her reasons actually are, you may want to ask her about that.

Gigabitch · #3 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 09:38 AM

Your mom should pick one. Is she your best friend or your mother? I think it's ridiculous for her to allow all of this other stuff and be supportive of your sex life and then draw the line at staying overnight. She must have some reason beyond "you're 16". Talk to her. Find out what it is.

jane · #4 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 09:44 AM

I have a question... how does HIS parents or roomates feel about it? Whos does he live with? If he lives with guy roommates maybe your mom is just worried about the other men in the house. Guys aren't always as nice as they seem. No offense men... lol..

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 10:09 AM

hahahahaha.... this is hilarious because you're too young to understand where she is coming from, and you are acing like a spoiled child in the process.

first, with someone who hates driving, 25 minutes isn't a far drive. it's about a half an hour drive, but that's nothing if you're seeing someone that you really care about.

secondly, are you really sure that your mother knows that you're drinking and what not? she might suspect it, but if she doesn't ask you, then it's possible that she doesn't think that you're dumb enough to put yourself in that situation at your age.

next the pill.. sure it feels better, (personally i hate rubbers too) but they are not 100% percent effective. my friend got pregnant while on the pill just to keep things real.

raverboy

vashti · #6 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Your mom should pick one. Is she your best friend or your mother? I think it's ridiculous for her to allow all of this other stuff and be supportive of your sex life and then draw the line at staying overnight. She must have some reason beyond "you're 16". Talk to her. Find out what it is.

Maybe she doesn't condone the sex, but doesn't want her daughter screwing up her life by getting pregnant. If I found out my daughter was having sex, she'd be on birth control too, and I would certainly not allow some adult man to come over and **** her in my house. No way.

Babydoll · #7 (**permalink**) 12-11-07, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

hahahahaha.... this is hilarious because you're too young to understand where she is coming from, and you are acing like a spoiled child in the process.

first, with someone who hates driving, 25 minutes isn't a far drive. it's about a half an hour drive, but that's nothing if you're seeing someone that you really care about.

secondly, are you really sure that your mother knows that you're drinking and what not? she might suspect it, but if she doesn't ask you, then it's possible that she doesn't think that you're dumb enough to put yourself in that situation at your age.

next the pill.. sure it feels better, (personally i hate rubbers too) but they are not 100% percent effective. my friend got pregnant while on the pill just to keep things real.

raverboy

lol for a start.. i am a spoiled child..
obviously the drive isn't majorly affecting our relationship.. because he wouldn't do it if he didn't care about me enough.. especially seeing as I'm alot younger than him which is something he hates and cringes about lol
my mum definitely knows i drink. i don't drink all that often to be honest.. because my mum has let me drink since i was 13 and gradually broken me into it.. so i now don't see the big deal about drink.. i'm not going to go wild on it when i turn 18 because i've always been allowed it. some cousins of mine weren't allowed to drink til 18.. and now.. they are embarrassing as drunks.. i know my limit because i've learnt over the years.. at my 16th my mum was more pissed than me! if ever i want to go out she'll take me to town and pick me up.. but no later than 1:30am.
i don't feel much difference with or without condoms lol.. just more lubricated. i usually use condoms with my boyfriend.. but i'm taking the pill too just in case.
It's not really the fact that he's we're not allowed to stay over eachother's places.. or at least in the same rooms anyways.. it's just that i dont know WHEN i'm going to be allowed to.. meh i will ask her.. gonna wait til after friday though cos i'll actually be 17 then.

As in answer to someone else's question. He lives with his mother, stepfather and one of is brothers. They don't mind me staying over and vice versa. He's a snowboard instructor.. thought you might be interested jane : snowboarder girl.

squirrley · #8 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 07:03 AM

As a mother of an 18 yr old son, as soon as I found out he was sexually active of course we bought condoms and had the big talk he was 15. I told him I dont condone it at his age that he was too young bla bla bla. But I wanted him protected. I certainly would NEVER condone him staying at his girlfriends house. Hell no. I will supply but not give the opportunity. If I were your mom I wouldnt allow it. I certainly would've NEVER allowed my son to go ahead and drink even if it were done in my house. Thats wrong in my opinion. I get some parents would rather you do it in the house while theyre home rather than sneaking, but as a parent no way.

If youre boyfriend is peaved at your age, why is he continuing to date you?

Charlie Boy II · #9 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 07:29 AM

my first girlfriend was allowed to stay over when we were both 17. I was allowed to drink before that. Aussies must be more relaxed towards that kind of thing.

Illusional · #10 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 10:38 AM

i hate spoiled people!!!

they always expect to get things their way and when they don't, they bitch and bring up dumb threads like this one. yes, it does add drama to the forum, but i've watched enough to tv to last me another lifetime.

as for babydoll.. why the rush? you're sitll 16 and you've got so much of your life ahead of you. another few years won't really matter if you're really in love as you both say or think you are.

raverboy

DarkDwarf · #11 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 11:07 AM

I agree with Raver on this one. Not only are you simply being stupid, but you're acting like a spoiled brat.

I'm younger than you are and certainly not as stupid (though I may be as spoiled in some areas).

miSSleepy · #12 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 11:19 AM

isn't this a really old thread? or have i just got an extreme sense of deja vu here...

Illusional · #13 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 11:28 AM

uhh... as far as i can tell, this thread was started... YESTERDAY!!!

raverboy

miSSleepy · #14 (**permalink**) 13-11-07, 11:47 AM

well, I wasn't joking about the extreme sense of deja vu. ...... ...

Tedel · #15 (**permalink**) 15-11-07, 12:56 AM

mm... You know? I think you are making a big mistake here.

Technically speaking, you are in a good age to have sex. When you are a teen, your body is more flexible and also your partner can last longer; however, from another point of view, you are making a big mistake.

Sorry if this sounds too old-fashioned or moralist, but sex is supposed to be reserved for someone with whom you can hold responsibly the consequences. If you are 16, I don't think you work. If he's around your age, I don't think he's working either. The fact he's got a penis and you a vulva doesn't automatically grant you authorization to use them ad lib.

Your sexual life —and all your life, in general— must be taken responsibly. The fact you only live one doesn't mean you've got one life to enjoy everything what you can (sex, alcohol, drugs, some kinky stuff, lesbianism, anal, oral, threesome, submissive sex) —NO!. As I see it, having one life means you have to try to live it well.

You do know thousands and millions of people worldwide have ruined, screwed, pissed off (you name it) their whole damn lives for early age mistakes. Do you want to be the next one?

PS: Tell your mother I want to have a word with her, too.