So this girl I used to date is visiting for a while . . .

[sfalexi]

Well, I have a girlfriend. And things are going well, but it's not serious. I mean, we haven't had sex, we haven't used the dreaded "L-word" (since I've long resolved NEVER to use that word until I find the girl TRULY worthy).

But this girl I used to date is coming back from california in January. Not to visit me, just to visit her parents. But we've talked about it and we are probably going to hang out cause we did have GREAT times when were hung out and dated and we're still friends. The reason I stopped dating her was because she didn't dump her girlfriend to be with me exclusively (LONG story).

We plan on just hanging out me, her, and two other people we used to hang out with all the time (we actually used to go on double dates with them all the time, but now it'll be just hanging' out as friends) and once in a while I'll bring my girlfriend along and she'll unfortunately have to be the odd woman out.

Thoughts anyone?

Alexi

[greenlegorn]

I don't like the friends after dating thing personally. I've tried it twice, and both times it never really worked for me.

I might be misreading. but in your case you have like a ex-couple's reunion thing going there. Hey, if it works for you then go ahead. Friends are great things to have!

[sfalexi]

Sorry. I wrote it wrong. The other two people are still a couple. Me and this other girl aren't, but before we were double "dating" we were hanging out just as friends. Anyways, I thought about it and I'm gonna hang out with her when she comes up. She was a real great chick, very fun and funny, and she's only up in NJ like once or twice a year now. Plus, it's not like I'll be ditching my girlfriend for her, more than likely my girlfriend will come along.

Alexi

[infamouseb]

I say leave it be and don't hangout with her unless you are really good friends with the girl coming to visit from Cally!

[Killerbabe]

Okay, someone needs to knock some sense into you.

FIRST OFF

You don't want to tell her the L-word?! Why the hell?! If you love her, then tell her, cause TRUST ME I've been through that shit. It's the WORST when you KNOW a guy loves you and he doesn't tell. That's when you get those bugging thoughts "why?" "what did I do wrong" "why won't he tell me?"
etc. It must be really crappy for your girlfriend to cope with her feelings especially, if she loves you. (and chances are, she won't tell you first!) This might be the reason to why it's not working out.

NEXT

Dude, you ain't kidding nobody saying that you'll be hanging out as friends, especially of you bring your girlfriend around too. This other couple will probably recall all the sweet and romantic times the four of you spent together and that'll leave SO much room for sentimental memories and a flirtatious mood. Your girlfriend will definitely HATE you after this.

AND FINALLY

Dude, double dates are for LOSERS!!! (Guideline # 1 for the perplexed) Seriously, that's so dumb. Only people who are excessively awkward/uncomfortable/unexperienced in each other's presence go on double dates! Just like back in highschool.

PS - Have you considered bringing a CHAPERONE with you on a date?

[dazedandconfused]

Originally posted by Killerbabe
Dude, double dates are for LOSERS!!! (Guideline # 1 for the perplexed) Seriously, that's so dumb. Only people who are excessively awkward/uncomfortable/unexperienced in each other's presence go on double dates! Just like back in highschool.

what the hell? you ever heard of the concept of friendship? my best friend and i both have girlfriends and we all have the best time together!!! we can go on an occasional double-date just cause it's fun! we have our private dates for romance etc, but being together in a group atmosphere where everyone is a friend is awesome! you enjoy being with your loved one AND you're interacting with friends. takes it to a whole new level, trust me. like being at someone's birthday together. just done that twice lately - it was fun!

[sfalexi]

Killerbabe, in response:

1) No. I don't use the L-word. She knows I love her, but until she's ready to love me back (which she tells me she really really likes me but is not sure if she loves me yet) I ain't gonna tell her. Plain and simple.

2) The other couple was (and still is) fun as hell to be with. Yeah it leaves room, but I trust myself enough that I'm not going to do anything. I'm not a cheater. And like I said, my girlfriend more than likely will be invited along.

3) Double dates aren't for losers. If we are all friends amongst each other, it just leads to fun times. I mean, is it more fun going rock climbing with just you and your date, or in a larger group? Is it more fun snowboarding just you and your date, or in a larger group where occasionally the girls could stay together as novices and the guys could go on the harder runs? I find nothing wrong with double dates or a bunch of guys bringing their girlfriends along where they go. It's a bigger atmosphere with more jokes, more laughs, and more fun in general.

I think you're thinking of a situation where one person asks his friend to come along cause he's nervous or something. Well we four were good friends and hung out together BEFORE we were dating each other. So why would we separate because we are now dating? Seems stupid to me.

BTW, the only wierd spot it came to was when my friend's girlfriend tried one night to get us all into an orgy/group sex thing. That was a little uncomfortable. But when she finally realized that myself and my date weren't into it, she let it go and we went back to hanging out and having fun.

Alexi