Divorce On The Verge - Page 3 - Love Forum

keeptrying · #31 (**permalink**) 04-06-06, 11:25 AM

Me again---is it possible that she is very puzzled about life.
I forgot to mention that my wife suffers from depression and is on medication for the condition.
Today I had to drop something off at her place and she was a in a very bizzare state---almost a dissociative condition. I asked her if she was ok---she said she had a very hard day.
I told her if she needs help just to give me a call---I really don't want her to do something stupid or become a wreck.
I've worked myself pass the point that I know we are not going to be together.

vashti · #32 (**permalink**) 04-06-06, 11:45 AM

I think rather than continually trying to place the blame entirely on her, you ought to be trying to be more introspective. Of COURSE her issues contributed to this situation, but so did YOURS, and you will be taking your issues with you if you don't figure out what they are and work on them.

keeptrying · #33 (**permalink**) 04-06-06, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

I think rather than continually trying to place the blame entirely on her, you ought to be trying to be more introspective. Of COURSE her issues contributed to this situation, but so did YOURS, and you will be taking your issues with you if you don't figure out what they are and work on them.

The thing is I'm not blaming her everyday I constantly wonder as to where I went wrong---and I've being working on my issues very greatly. I've being going to the councilor reading books and tonnes more. The thing is she is not putting any effort towards this at all---which most likely means she does not care to make the marriage work.

keeptrying · #34 (**permalink**) 07-06-06, 01:52 AM

I'm back--is it normal for us to still hangout once in a while---we've being hanging out on average 5 times a week. Sometimes they are brief encounters like 1/2 an hour>?
I know I don't have much experience with the ending of a long term relationship.
This morning we carpooled together.

Gigabitch · #35 (**permalink**) 08-06-06, 01:52 AM

No, and you should stop it.

Ex-wives can be friends after you are over them. You're not over her.

You're like a kid with a fork who keeps going for the toaster.

Put the frickin' fork down.

keeptrying · #36 (**permalink**) 21-06-06, 12:15 PM

Just an update on my situation. The wife and I seem to be working towards a reconcilation. We are spending more time together and going on dates and stuff of the sort.
I cooked her a spectacular super tonight---she was so surprised that I can actually cook so good.
I will keep posted on the progress.

Gigabitch · #37 (**permalink**) 23-06-06, 06:27 AM

Oy, gevalt!

keeptrying · #38 (**permalink**) 05-07-06, 11:25 AM

Not sure what to do ---I keep getting the signs that my wife wants to come back---but then bam---she turns face and saids she needs space. It seems everyday she has a different outlook. I'm so confused---why can't she just make up her mind already. I decided today that I need my space. What should I do? I don't want to totally push her away--but it might be the only solution now

XPixiedustX · #39 (**permalink**) 05-07-06, 11:46 AM

Well I read the whole thread, and personally I feel that no issue is so big that it can't be worked out. But before any of that you need to step back and ask yourself, how much do you love her? do you still love her?
From the way she is behaving I don't think she has given up, she is confused, if you don't know why then find out. You need to be honest with her and yourself. if you still love her, and want to save your marriage tell her. Ask her why she is confused, depression definitely aggrivates, and amplifies the smallest problems, maybe the problem is very small after all. If you promised to stand by her through good times and bad, then you should keep that promise. If it's space she needs, then let her have it. I'm not saying that you should wait around forever, but give it some time.
How long were you guys married?

NeoSeminole · #40 (**permalink**) 05-07-06, 11:46 AM

What happened bro? I thought you moved on? It's pointless for anyone to continue giving you advice b/c you are not thinking rationally. You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement. I know some people say "follow your heart," but I think the heart is always a few steps behind the brain. There's a reason we use our brains to solve problems.

keeptrying · #41 (**permalink**) 07-07-06, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPixiedustX

Well I read the whole thread, and personally I feel that no issue is so big that it can't be worked out. But before any of that you need to step back and ask yourself, how much do you love her? do you still love her?
From the way she is behaving I don't think she has given up, she is confused, if you don't know why then find out. You need to be honest with her and yourself. if you still love her, and want to save your marriage tell her. Ask her why she is confused, depression definitely aggrivates, and amplifies the smallest problems, maybe the problem is very small after all. If you promised to stand by her through good times and bad, then you should keep that promise. If it's space she needs, then let her have it. I'm not saying that you should wait around forever, but give it some time.
How long were you guys married?

Thank you for the advice -- we were married for 26 months together for 5.5 years. Not really ready to give up just quite yet. Don't want to regret it 10 years down the road wondering what I could of done. She has being asking for space, as hard as it is for me to do that I think I must respect it and provide it for her.

XPixiedustX · #42 (**permalink**) 07-07-06, 10:42 AM

I'm glad your gonna try and work on it, I mean you have given her so many years of your life..what's a few more, especially if it saves the marriage! Anyway goodluck, I hope things work out for you guys!

keeptrying · #43 (**permalink**) 10-07-06, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPixiedustX

I'm glad your gonna try and work on it, I mean you have given her so many years of your life..what's a few more, especially if it saves the marriage! Anyway goodluck, I hope things work out for you guys!

Thank you

It sure has being extremely difficult. I think most people would have given up by now. Tonight I was over and we were talking about stuff. It all kind of went crap when I left she told me as of right now she feels she can only be friends with me (wtf we are married still). I don't know how to take this and digest it. Do I just move on and consider it a learning experience? Give her some space and see where it goes? Pursue her and see what happens? Maybe I'm sounding too needy to her---make her chase me a bit, all my buddies tell me to do this except I feel it is like playing a game.
Jeepers love sure messes with peoples heads. Its so hard to comprehend why and the earth she just wants to through it all away. I guess this is where love has me fooled. What is love really?
This has just all being so difficult hopefully it is worth it in the long run.

NeoSeminole · #44 (**permalink**) 11-07-06, 02:16 AM

I'll restate what I said earlier b/c it still pertains. It's pointless for anyone to continue giving you advice b/c you are not thinking rationally. You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement.

keeptrying · #45 (**permalink**) 13-07-06, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

I'll restate what I said earlier b/c it still pertains. It's pointless for anyone to continue giving you advice b/c you are not thinking rationally. You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement.

hmm probably right