Is this a sign?

[NadieBell]

Hello All,
I've been in a relationship for few years now. It's been pretty good but recently it has been different. We both have gone through personal changes, and i think, we are thinking about whether the other one fits into each others lives anymore. So to make matters worse, something happened recently that has made me think he could be cheating. I had never suspected anything before, so I am quite confused
Here's what happened:

Im surfing the internet and someone had sent my bf a message over instant messenger (he left it signed on). It was in his native language, so I replied, in his language, that he wasn't here. The person then continued in English and asked if he (or me, not sure actually) had been to a place the night before. I said i didnt know what the person was talking about but again said that my bf wasn't available. I noticed that this person wasnt on my bf's contact list so i asked who this person was and that i would give the message to my bf but the person ignored my questions and then asked who I was. I said my name and the person said, "his girlfriend" and i said yes and asked again who it was and the person signed off.

ok, so then i confront my bf. his explanation was all over the place. he said he recognized the name, someone met over the internet, said didnt know if it was a male or female or even this person's name. I didnt understand him at all. What confuses me is that 1. whoever this person is knows where we live (we live abroad and we dont know that many people) 2. knows the nationality of my bf and 3. knows about ME. so why doesnt my bf know about this person?!

Sorry this was so long...I would really appreciate anyone's input on this!

[Ellynn]

First off, it could be a male or female.. So I wouldn't jump too far to conclusions...

Second, the fact this person knows about you means that your bf discussed you. Possibly, this person was interested in him(if it was a female) and he told her he was in a relationship with you... and kinda cut off contact etc....after talking to her for a bit in the past. (which explains why this person is not on his contact list.)

Third, maybe your bf doesn't really remember this person all that well....or maybe was talking to them about stuff in general or stuff that he needed advice on etc...and hes embarrassed that you found out.

Fourth, as someone who was cheated on...and I found out via internet a similiar way...maybe if you get this persons screenname and talk to them a little bit...you might get some answers.. But Im warning you, this person could really make things hell for the two of you....

When I confronted my ex(who was my bf at the time) about this chick that was IMing him....he told me it was his ex( and that they were still friends). When I revealed to her who I was, she was all surprised and thought we had broken up and then went on to email me conversations they had that were sexual... Of course my bf at the time, denied everything and said she was just crazy and still wanted him....but when I saw those conversations...from yahoo.....it truly was the other way around. I was heart broken....and things with us never were the same until I finally realized I could not trust him....and ended things with him. The funny thing is he never ended up with her. She just wanted some attention at the time...and he was bored or so he said. He still tries to contact me to get back together, but I have moved on since then and refuse to.

But honestly, in your situation, until you have more facts, don't jump to any conclusions. I really hope its not like what I went thru.... And it probably isn't. But if u honestly think something is up....do a little investigationg first before you make any huge decisions.. Good luck and keep us updated!

[vashti]

Whomever it was you were talking to may not have known about you. It could have just been a guess. WOuldn't YOU guess that a woman answering a guy's IM was either his grilfriend or his nosey mom?

I think your guy sounds suspicious. Just keep your eyes open.