... - Love Forum

Broken-dreamer · #1 (**permalink**) 20-05-06, 06:28 PM

Im not in a relationship or anything...

I was 'parted away' from him last year, but I just cant get over him. Its almost been a year, but I still cry, I still think of him. Im probably going to end up crying now...

Nobody knows that Im not over him. They dont know how I feel. All my friends and everyone else...they think Im over it long, long time ago but Im not. I never told anyone that I felt this way.

I just made an account today, cause I felt strange. I think I almost told him that I loved him, but I didnt. It would have been pathetic...

So I made an account on here, hoping that I wont do anything stupid and just...I dont know anymore. Does anyone have any advice to get over someone they love?

I just feel so lost and hopeless...

Broken-dreamer · #2 (**permalink**) 20-05-06, 07:17 PM

Can someone please reply? Can anyone please reply...?

Kiechi · #3 (**permalink**) 20-05-06, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Broken-dreamer

Im not in a relationship or anything...

I was 'parted away' from him last year, but I just cant get over him. Its almost been a year, but I still cry, I still think of him. Im probably going to end up crying now...

Nobody knows that Im not over him. They dont know how I feel. All my friends and everyone else...they think Im over it long, long time ago but Im not. I never told anyone that I felt this way.

I just made an account today, cause I felt strange. I think I almost told him that I loved him, but I didnt. It would have been pathetic...

So I made an account on here, hoping that I wont do anything stupid and just...I dont know anymore. Does anyone have any advice to get over someone they love?

I just feel so lost and hopeless...

As painful as it may sound, the best way to get over someone is really to find someone else.

vashti · #4 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 12:28 AM

If you are still literally crying after a year, this is probably more about your need/want for a relationship than it is actual mourning over him. It sounds like you have been obsessing over the lack of this relationship rather than actually making the effort to move on. Is this the way you plan to spend the rest of your life?

Ellynn · #5 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 05:11 AM

Yeah get out there.......meet other people!! Move on! Why cry over something that happened so long ago??

Broken-dreamer · #6 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 10:24 AM

I dont feel like I can. I already have tried...

Well, he thinks of me as a friend, yet he never really talks to me...but I still have the feelings for him. I cant picture myself with anyone else but him, hes always been there for me...

I try letting go but the more I try, the more it hurts...

joe1234 · #7 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 01:27 PM

Meet some one different. Maybe with different qualities so you arent reminded of him. If you still think of him for a year you must still see him around from time to time. get away. take a vacation somewhere and maybe youll meet someone in the process. just dont let this one guy make you feel terrible the rest of your life.

Mr. E · #8 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 01:29 PM

I say this with the utmost respect, you need to see a psychologist or someone else you can talk to. If you're not comfortable talking to your friends about this, you need a 3rd party. Things like this shouldn't affect your life as much as they do after so long.

Ellynn · #9 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 01:36 PM

Yeah its only normal to feel this way afterwards for a little while......not a whole yr! You have to realize you cannot change the past.......but only the present and future. If you let him ruin you like this....the only person you are gonna harm is yourself.... by not moving on... And trust me....he HAS moved on..... So why not you?

If you need to...maybe seek some professional help. It sounds to me like you have depression....or at least that you need someone to talk to about this.

dreamer101 · #10 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 03:55 PM

i apologise for being the devils advocate here, but can someone suggest *practical* tips on getting over someone. And how long is too long to be hung over someone? Really? because I am too, for 3 months now.

pinkpuca84 · #11 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 05:01 PM

Broken,

u're sooooo not alone....i was EXACTLY in the same situation as u. i actually went into this forum a while ago, and made a post under heading "how to forget"...u might wanna have a look at it...i got lots of good response from people here (thanks guys)...

i really understand how u feel, and all i can tell u is that mine is alot worst situation (mine is 10 yrs of not being able to forget!!!) but then...one day i came to realise that i was destroying myself. i was extremely exhausted, because i cried every night, and felt so miserable. (just like ur case, he told me that i was still his best friend, yet he never actually talk to me as much, when he found out what i really feel abt him). anyway....

so here's my suggestion for u (proven to work in my case):

1) pray. (really..it does help)
2) surround urself with lots of good, and POSITIVE friends
3) keep urself really busy with things that u like
4) look after urself well by watching what u eat, exercise, and glam up! make urself feel (and look) better.
5) cut out any contact with him, until u r trully over him. even if it takes months, so be it! dont chat, talk or meet him.

finally:
6) learn to accept the fact that he's gone. don't hold hopes, and keep positive thoughts. dont look back, and asking "what if".

good luck....

pinkpuca84 · #12 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiechi

As painful as it may sound, the best way to get over someone is really to find someone else.

i apologise for not agreeing with the above comment. cos it didnt work for my case. yes, it worked for a while, but not for a long term. if u're not trully over him by urself, then having someone new will not be any help either. i guess it's also unfair for the next guy that u go out with, for the sake of "forgetting" another guy. it's just not right. i too thought the same way, but in practice it just didnt work.

here's my reason: u tend not to see the next guy's weakness, (because what u focus on is only to forget someone else, not actually finding the "right" person for u for long term..i mean...u tend to take "whoever" as long as that person can make u happy at THAT time).

u also tend not to realise whether u trully love the next guy, or u're just "flattered", and just happy because of companionship.

thus, u HAVE TO move on by your own first, before thinking abt going out with anyone else. that way, u will have clear idea what sort of boyfriends u want, and who can trully makes u happy. it's hard, but in my opinion, it will work out better this way. so that ur next relationship will be a clean start. this is what i'm doing. i want to keep myself single for a while. and rite now, i have tears no more. i'm on my way to "cleaner" state. feeling much better too!

Broken-dreamer · #13 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 08:24 PM

Hey Pinkpuca84, I really appreciate your replys. I went to your thread.
And Im really sorry about what has happened to you. I also met him when I was young...I felt as though I had loved him since I met him pretty much...last year, I told one of my friends, about a month after it had happened. She thought it was sad. Not the depression sad though. Kind of hurt me, I guess.

I havent seen him in months. And when I do see him, its just a coincidence, nothing special. When we were young, he was my best friend, yet, Im not sure how he felt then but yeah...I really love him.

And I agree with you about the whole finding another person, I think its pretty cruel and selfish.

I have also tried to clear my mind about him.I try to be as distant as I can, but I just cant, I mean, I tried. We are kind of distant now, not really chatting on msn or anything. But I still love him. I've tried to tell myself that I only loved him back then, and he's a completly different person now. But he's not...

And if anyone is wondering why I dont tell my friends, is well...not all my friends are close, and I know they will make me tell him, or they tell him. I dont know. Alot of things happened between me and my friends after ' me and him ' were parted, and I guess I lost alot of trust towards my friends.

He was also my first. And I was never with any other guy.

Even though Im not completly better and all, I do feel comforted. I felt alot better when I was reading the comments posted.

Kiechi · #14 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 08:35 PM

"And I agree with you about the whole finding another person, I think its pretty cruel and selfish."

Please elaborate on that. In what respect is it either selfish or cruel?

pinkpuca84 · #15 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 09:34 PM

put urself in this way: would u wanna go out with a girl just because that girl wants to forget his ex? wouldnt u be wondering if she trully loves u, or using u for her own purpose?

surely u want a girl who loves u completely, and certainly u dont want any traces of her ex still on her mind rite?