I need a fvckin suggestion here - Love Forum

Teezy · #1 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 11:21 AM

Me and this girl really like eachother. A lot. We've never been this close to anyone before...either of us. But she just got out of a 2 year relationship and doesn't want to be in another one. But I do. Since there is no commitment, she can potentially date other people, and she might just because she feels so good not being tied down to anyone. My feelings are if she cares about me a lot, she wouldn't WANT to date other people. She hasn't yet, but it is an option for her, as it is an option for me to date around, but I don't have any desire to, this is the girl I want to be with.

should I wait until she's ready? I'm thinking of telling her to make a choice between me and freedom to date whoever she wants...I just can't imagine anyone else being inside her or even kissing her. Or should I date around as well to make her jealous and want me for real? Because I know women, she'll come right to me if I do this. I'm not that kind of person at all though.

Here's the basics, we lived together for about 6 months when she was together with my roomate but they broke up and now she really likes me and i really like her. We do the most fun, random, spontaneous shit together. I don't want her to date around. Is this a phase for her? Will she pass this and realize how much she has with me? Because I am a great guy, she knows this, but I want her to realize that if she wants to date other guys, I will not be with her...the thing is there's no commitment between us so i'm going in circles now, you see my problem here?

-T

Mr. E · #2 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 01:18 PM

God, I'm such a noob, but I'm gonna give this one a shot. I've got something similar going on. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do, so that should help a little.

First, don't make her choose. This will scare her and it'll end before it even started. You need to take it to the next level if you haven't already. If you guys have a plutonic relationship now, start getting closer to her physically on these spontaneous outings. If things seem to be going alright, kiss her, nothing big, but definitely on the lips. If you don't know where you stand, run your fingers through her hair first. If she seems cool with that, it's a good sign.

Damn, I'm suggesting what to do now.

Oh well, I think it's good advice, nonetheless.

Good luck buddy.
Mr. E

Teezy · #3 (**permalink**) 21-05-06, 02:02 PM

well we're sleeping together, so we're pretty much together without being together. We act like a couple in public, public affection etc, but we're not officially "boyfriend-girlfriend".

Teezy · #4 (**permalink**) 22-05-06, 01:30 AM

I'm pretty sure she's just not ready et

xwfuro · #5 (**permalink**) 22-05-06, 02:05 AM

well she just got out of something quite long so to rush her might make things worse. i think your doing the right thing by just dating just because she has the freedom to date others doesnt mean she is going to. just give it time and be supportive if you really like this girl, and make it known how much you do care for her.

DarkDwarf · #6 (**permalink**) 22-05-06, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. E

God, I'm such a noob, but I'm gonna give this one a shot. I've got something similar going on. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do, so that should help a little.

First, don't make her choose. This will scare her and it'll end before it even started. You need to take it to the next level if you haven't already. If you guys have a plutonic relationship now, start getting closer to her physically on these spontaneous outings. If things seem to be going alright, kiss her, nothing big, but definitely on the lips. If you don't know where you stand, run your fingers through her hair first. If she seems cool with that, it's a good sign.

Damn, I'm suggesting what to do now.

Oh well, I think it's good advice, nonetheless.

Good luck buddy.
Mr. E

If thats the first time you've given advice You have a bright future. I totally agree.

DD

Teezy · #7 (**permalink**) 22-05-06, 03:51 AM

I agree with you too, but we're WAY past that point.

jellysticks · #8 (**permalink**) 22-05-06, 08:26 AM

definately don't push her! from what you've described I'm guessing that she doesnt want BF-GF status so she feels she has space! if she's just got out of a 2 year relationship, she probably felt styfled (sp?) and is enjoying being able to do what she wants when she wants, I'm not talking other guys here, more going out on the town with her mates etc,

I know when i got out of my long term relationship that's how I felt, and damn it felt good! (and I didnt finish it, which was the surprising part!!)

just enjoy it :-) stress too much and it damages relationships