Best friends.... - Love Forum

greenlegorn · #1 (**permalink**) 08-12-03, 06:27 AM

This is my first post on this forum, but I have read the threads on this forum for a week or two now.

My situation sounds like something out of a cheap romance film. I'm falling for my best friend. We've been friends for about two years I would say, and we're closer than anything ive ever experienced. But in the past few months I've been begun having romantic feelings for her. Several things:

a. If I were to ask her out, I would risk losing our friendship (assuming she says no) - and I value our friendship very much

b. she has a boyfriend, shes been going out with him for about 4/5 months.

c. She has (in my opinion) horrible choice in boyfriends. From what she tells me and from what I've seen her boyfriends are "pretty boys" with a nice personality on the surface but are lacking in the maturity department.

I don't know what to do. Help?

Zekk_T_Strife · #2 (**permalink**) 08-12-03, 09:34 AM

Ah, all too familiar am I with this situation. Sadly probably the best thing you can do is to give up. For me it was best to tell her my feelings because we were close enough for her to understand and things continued on and we got even closer. There's still sometimes that voice in the back of my head that someday we'll end up together but reasonably I know it's impossible. These kind of things rarely work out and it'll only kill you more to try to believe you're that one in a billion couple that works. I'm not trying to be a joykill, I just know exactly how you feel and I'm of the belief if it's gonna happen then it's gonna happen. Best thing you can do know is look elsewhere for romance and secretly hope.

greenlegorn · #3 (**permalink**) 08-12-03, 11:09 AM

How did you go about telling her your feelings? I want to tell her how I feel so much, I'm not used to hiding anything from her.

I guess you could say, I'm afraid if I tell her she would be weirded out and it could lose me my friendship.

LightOn · #4 (**permalink**) 08-12-03, 03:18 PM

She already has a boyfriend, so something you could do is next time she says anything bad about him....joke around and say something like "then get rid of him and get with me" to her(with a little cockyness behind it)... but don't expect her to be all up for that.

It sounds to me like these "pretty boys" are the ones getting the benefits and your the one just getting the "Jibber"

evalve · #5 (**permalink**) 08-12-03, 06:43 PM

Quote:

"then get rid of him and get with me"

Hahha. Yes of course. If your gonna say it like a joke, then will she end up taking it seriously enough to consider you? Thats what im wondering.

LightOn · #6 (**permalink**) 09-12-03, 05:24 PM

Maybe, or maybe not. You will never know untill you do it.

You have to do something, develope a strategy and play the strategy out.

If it fails, then it fails and you must go on.

LightOn · #7 (**permalink**) 09-12-03, 05:29 PM

Also, you want to leave her wondering wether or not there was any truth behind it, but don't let her on to it.

IceQueen · #8 (**permalink**) 15-12-03, 04:48 PM

IMHO you should go ahead and tell it like it is. She has to DEFINITELY know, otherwise, you can't expect reciprocation from her, because any feelings of hers towards you will be hindered by the uncertainty.