stop or go

[inthemoonlight]

first off, im a high school girl. i've never really bene in a serious relationship before so dating and lots of things about relationships are more or less a new thing to me.

i've been really good friends with this guy since we were in lower school together and we're remained really close since then. more recently, we've been doing lots of stuff with each other, just going to dances and parties and talking a lot more then we ever had. as of now we have never done anything together, not even kissing. the past few monthes however we've been talking about our sexuality and he's seen me naked a few times and we often find ourselves in a situation where i'll be in my underwear in bed and we'll just lie in bed together and talk. it's never really been such a big deal.

the question i have relates to recent behavior.. i've been more talkative about how i feel sexually, just about masterbation and things about my body, and we've showered together a few times and seen a lot of each other's bodies. the most recent time we showered it looked like he had a slight erection, and at dances i've been able to tell that he's been getting a little hard. i dont really mind this but im just curious what to do about our relationship now... i've been kinda wanting a guy for a while and i've been craving some sort of sex or stimulation but im not sure how that fits in with this...

should i stop doing the things we've been doing with him, or should i keep going and see if we could have a sort of friends with benefits relationship? i just dont want to damage our relationship but i think if he's feeling an attraction to me that maybe we could get more out of each other...

anyone have any insight?

[Kellie_Sabrina]

It's normal for teenage girls/boys to feel curious about sex. I think this (more than anything else) is what the two of you have most in common. You say that ya'll are friends, but all I am hearing about is the sexual communication between you.

I find it odd that ya'll are showering & lying (half clothed) on the bed & have yet to even kiss! I'm not saying that that is what you should be doing, but I just find that very strange. How do you get unclothed & on a bed without there being some type of involvement on his part? Do you just undress yourself... & why?

You ask if you should stop these acts or continue & maybe ya'll can have a "friends with benefits" relationship... Obviously, you are not looking for any type of commitment, just sex (or something similar).

You are not "craving" sex/stimulation considering you have never experienced either... you are simply curious & hormonal (as is he, I'm sure).

I am not saying that you are in the wrong, but I do think that if you have sex with him now you may regret it later. I don't know where ya'll plan on this going... but it doesn't sound like something I would continue. That's just me though! If you want to degrade yourself just to relieve some curiosity you have, then by all means! I would wait until I found someone that I really cared about, loved, & was in a relationship with. The last thing you want is to live with regret!

This may have sounded harsh, but I wish someone had said it to me! All this comes from someone who knows all too well... I know from experience.

[vashti]

I think it would be really sad to give it up for the first time to someone you don't really have romantic feelings for. To be blunt, it is sleezy. You are a long way from your sexual prime, and you shouldn't be in such a rush to experience sex that you would sink to this level.

I think you should stop with the sexual behavior with this boy. It must be uncomfortable for him, too.

[wildadrenaline]

well.. im puzzled that u guys actually did nothin while lying naked in bed. showering together is something very private & it requires love & courage to do so. my advise will be to stop what u 're doing. it's not worth it. one day u'll regret what u did outta curiousity. gal. don't wait till that day to come cherish urself. u'll meet someone who u love & love u in return. & that person will be e one who's worth ur 1st time. trust me. i've been thru ur stage.

[Diego the pimp]

just think about this if you 2 do become "something" then once this is over I highly doubt you will be friends again.

[Piggy Bunny]

Hmm, I wouldn't worry. Honestly, I'm going through the exact same thing with my relationship.
Him getting hard just means you're a turn on. In guy talk at least. Which is a good thing, because you're beautiful, and he gets that feeling whenever he sees you and that makes him horny. It would be a bad thing if you were a turn off, wouldn't it? Especially to your boyriend. With guys, doing sexual stuff is a way of showing that they love you. For most girls, they think of it in a way that they're being lusted after, and they only reason they're in a relationship is so they can have you as a little sex toy. That's really not the case with guys who think love = sex, which is just fine.
But if he wants more of a sexual relationship then a romantic relationship, maybe it's not the best thing to do. A more romantic relationship could be more helpful for the future, but it's natural to have a little bit of lust in it ^_^ Its better to love through emotions then physically in love =P

[google3000]

This is pretty normal teenage behaviour.

I don't know how old you are....but this is my advice....as I think you have two options.

1. If you are not attracted to him then you should stop what you are doing and just be like normal friends.

2. If you fancy him as a boyfriend then go for it!

[TheBlaze]

This imo, but being 'friends' is one of the most misused words when it comes to boy/girl relationships. Judging from your story, you guys are more than friends for being that intimate.

You got to reseolve what your feelings ar for him and vice versa. Don't think that what you are doing is an act of friendship. If you don't see him as anything more as a friend, then stop being that intimate with him.

I'm a guy, and if one of my girl friends would be that intimate with me, then I would think that she wants to be more than friends. If not, then, I might think my friend is just using me or something.