what should i do??? - Love Forum

boredcore · #1 (**permalink**) 16-12-03, 10:55 PM

stupid brain. got a bit of a guy problem. im a chick. got an awesome boyfriend. crazy about him and have been so for 2 and a half years. but havent seen him much recently for various reasons, and it really sucks. espeically cos of this.

recently started working at a new place (big deprtment store), and i really like one of the managers (young dude, only a few years older than me) cos hes a rad dude. lots of fun, funny and very cool. had a crush on him for about a week. got past that. now mainly just wanna get to know him better, wanna be friends cos hes one of the coolest people ive met in ages. but im still not sure if there is some lingering attraction or whatever. but i really like to be around him and messing about with him, laughing, pushing, shoving various insults and much sexual innuendo. funny as. its almost as if hes interested in me, but im highly doubtful. partly cos hes got a girlfriend he seems really into.

in addition , he's a dude i think would be a really good boyfriend. nice, but fun etc. he's also someone i'd **** if given the opportunity, if i didnt have a boyfriend that i love.

and im pretty picky....

god im retarded...need to stop thinking about this...

have to get my mind off him ( i think too much), gotta get past any attraction, cos i know its just a passing crush. but i also wanna be friends (outside work, kinda hard tho) but dunno how.

how am i gonna get myself outta this?

sfalexi · #2 (**permalink**) 17-12-03, 06:40 PM

I don't know but I have this sneaky feeling that you're gonna end up doing some mutual cheating with him. Looks like you really want to and you're TRYING to head in that direction. I figure at this point (by the way you're typing here) it's not even worth me trying to give advice cause you have a pretty good idea of what you would do once you get the green light from him.

Alexi

boredcore · #3 (**permalink**) 17-12-03, 09:29 PM

hmm....im not sure of that...maybe i put across that impression, but i dont think id do anything while still with my boyfriend. i just couldnt do it. i love him too much, and couldnt hurt him like that.

if the opportunity presented itself (to get with work dude), and i wanted to go for it, i dont think i could do that without breaking up with my boyfriend first. and even then it would be hard. in the heat of the moment i dunno what id do, but the heat of the moment is not when you think straight about stuff, so i dunno.

i just wanna get it off my mind, and become just good friends with work dude, and have to attraction to him...and its hard, cos its a natural attraction, i cant help it. hopefully its just a passing thing...

LightOn · #4 (**permalink**) 17-12-03, 11:03 PM

As the old saying goes "A successful relationship is not finding the right person but being the right person" sort of falls into place here.

You are possibly attracted to someone other than your current b/f, well I must say asking for advice on what to do is much better than not asking advice and acting out your impulses.

Remember you can control how you feel about someone, obviously things between you and your current b/f are not the greatest, because you wouldn't be curious about this other guy.

In reality how many relationships are the greatest? Fate does not make a relationship great, the people in the relationship make it great, that includes you.

It is only natural to feel temptation, and it takes a mature person to control that urdge of temptation. I am sure you can do it!

Get back to the forum when you decide what to do.

sfalexi · #5 (**permalink**) 18-12-03, 05:28 AM

Allright. If your intentions aren't what I thought, then my advice is to just be honest to yourself and to everyone else. Will you be able to live with the guilt of knowing you've cheated on a guy you love? If you love him, then the answer will be no. Keep in mind, no matter how hot you think your current boyfriend is, there will always be someone out there hotter, more sexy, more tempting. You have to take control of the situation. You may think you can't control it, but you can. You can easily avoid the person. There's no reason that you HAVE to flirtatiously smile and look at him. You DO have the option of ignoring him. But will you take the harder route at the moment to secure a more stable relationship with your boyfriend? That's up to you.

Alexi

boredcore · #6 (**permalink**) 18-12-03, 10:27 PM

thanks for the advice...i probly NEED it.

i dont think i could avoid him (i work with him) nor do i want to avoid him, cos i like him as a person and really enjoy his company. hes a really cool guy. and i really wish i could control my emotions but i cant, tho i can control my actions which i will do. i couldnt act on any impulses anyway, cos of the guilt. i'd feel like complete shit.

like i keep saying, im hoping itll pass, cos i dont wanna ruin a good thing. i know my relationship with my boyfriend is rad, and i love him. its just that at the moment, stuff isnt the greeatest. makes life harder. i just feel as if its not gonna go back to normal, but i spose its really easy to feel that way when youre in a bad situation...

will post back again...

LightOn · #7 (**permalink**) 18-12-03, 11:52 PM

Everyone gets cold feet every once in a while, but you say your relationship is not that great with your current b/f. Remember there is things that you can do to improve it. What really is normal these days anyway?!? Don't fool yourself though, there does come a time when you call it quits. Those are the questions you have to ask yourself, about what do you really want? These are your decisions, not only should you make good choices, but you should feel confident they are good choioces.

IceQueen · #8 (**permalink**) 21-12-03, 01:59 AM

IMHO you are feeling neglected by the guy you're with AND you are not so crazy about him after all. I think you might want to dump him altogether. He is not giving you what you need!

After that, feel free to move on to that interesting guy you work with and tons of other guys!

JohnsonROd · #9 (**permalink**) 22-12-03, 12:32 PM

Just go for the guy at work! Relationships suck!

sfalexi · #10 (**permalink**) 22-12-03, 01:16 PM

And obviously the best advice comes from people who nickname themselves "Johnson-Rod"

jane · #11 (**permalink**) 22-12-03, 01:29 PM

lol...

boredcore · #12 (**permalink**) 28-12-03, 06:06 PM

hmm...life is a bit more normal at the moment...seem to be a bit happier with current situation...been seeing boyfriend heaps more than before, which is great. its real nice to actually be seeing him again...

and work dude is definitely becoming more of a friend than anything else...which is also very cool...hopefully will stay that way...seems like it will....

hmm....we'll see...