Please Help Me

[ChrisHohl]

There is a girl I like, well, like is a weak word. Lets say love. But I don't think she feels anything for me. We are friends, but after I told her about my feelings for her (which I did a piss poor job of, all shes knows is that "I like her"), she just became incredibly distant. I don't think she likes me whatsoever, and it is killing me.

She is all I think about, I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I'm physically making myself ill over this. I'm a neurotic wreck. I want to tell her how much I love her, but I am afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of exposing my self so deeply, and afraid I won't be able to express myself correctly.

I'm so miserable, I love someone so much, and they don't have any feelings for me.

Should I talk to her about it? What should I say? I just don't know, I'm so confused and lonely. I have nobody to talk to. She is one of my friends' exs, so talking about this with any of my friends is probably a bad idea. Plus, I would probably just come off as insane.

I need help, I don't know what to do. All I know is, I can continue like this. I need to use drugs to mask my pain so I can stand to bear the pain of reality. I hate it, I just want to be normal, to be loved, to no longer be alone.

I can't even look at other women these days, or masturbate for that matter. I am not interested in either of these things at all anymore. She is just so perfect, she is all I think about.

And she hasn't said anything to me about this whole situation. True, she doesn't know much (just that I like her). But I don't know if she isn't saying anything because she doesn't care, or she just doesn't like me at all. It just makes me feel so bad. When I told her I liked her, the only thing she said was thank you. I tell her my feelings, and I don't even get a simple acceptance or rejection. I'm just confused.

Please, please, help.

[LightOn]

What reason's do you have to love her? Don't feel alone, there are plenty of people that are in the same situation you are in. I have been there before also, and I can't rule out the fact that it may happen to me again. I personally just have to do my best to not let it happen.

One thing you can not be scared of is rejection. Failure is evident in situations like this, don't fear it or it will break you down mentally and even physically. The only thing you want to fear is fear itself. Don't lose all hope, sometimes you have to hit the bottem to work your way back up.

Take in the fact that, if she hasn't shown any signs that she likes you, then chances are she doesn't like you that way. If she is being shy about it, or expecting you to make ALL the moves, you will find yourself in a worse situation that you are in now. You say you are in love with her, and she is perfect? If she was really perfect you wouldn't be asking for help, not to sound critical but it is the truth eh? Perfection is invisible, I say that because we like to only notice things when they are wrong or bad.

I'm not going to suggest moving onto a new chick, but you might want to try focusing on controlling the emotions that are tearing you down. You have a Subconscious mind, it is your decision how you let emotions get to you.....Remember YOU can control how you feel about something, 100% of people today have the ability to be happy, all they have to do is find a way convince themself they are happy with what they have now.

I can't promise you anything I said can help, but I seriously think you can make yourself a promise to not let rejection ruin you. It happens to the best of us.

[ChrisHohl]

While I probably can't deal with rejection to well, I'm not even at that stage yet. I'm just getting nothing back, not even rejection.

And I don't know what reasons I have to love her. My love does not follow the normal laws of reason I suppose. I just do, and I know it.

We are friends, even though maybe I didn't make it sound like it, and we still talk. We just don't talk about this at all, the subject never gets discussed.

[LightOn]

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisHohl
I'm so miserable, I love someone so much, and they don't have any feelings for me.

Well if you're friends you need to realize that she does have feelings for you, just not the feelings you may hope they do. Its no point to beat yourself up over nothing. You are allowed to love anybody you want anyway you want to.

I'm not saying you are doing this but don't reject yourself before she has a chance to.

You said after you expressed your feelings to her, she said "thank you" I mean right there is the acceptance or acknowledgement.

What actually makes you assume or conclude that she has no feelings for you?

[ChrisHohl]

I said I think she doesn't, but I am uncertain at this point, because I have been given no feedback whatsoever.

It is just my guess that she doesnt, I can be certain of anything at this point.

[LightOn]

What activities do you and her do together? Yall hang out just with each other? or with a group of friends, or just pass by each other every now and then? How old is she?

Finding out if she likes you or not? What I do is I give my self the benefit of the doubt and decide they do, I think If i was them I would want me too... lol Sometimes asking what someone thinks of you creates pressure they are not ready for, so I mentally make that decision for them....In reality we can feel someone does not like us, so why not feel they do like us?

What plans do you have in mind at this point?

[BuzzLiteBeer]

I know how you feel...well, just not so suicidal. But I guess it's because i haven't told the girl i like and got rejected for it. That's tough man, I can only offer my empathy and condolences, but I don't know how to help you.

Also, a lot of posts here ask you what is making you so obsessed with her. If you can't answer that, then maybe you can reconsider you feelings and feel better.

[IceQueen]

Let's be realistic. You have already told her how you feel about it, and you already saw her reaction (and believe me, she GOT what you were trying to convey). Don't fool yourself thinking that if you tell her again and again, her reaction is going to be different.

Besides that, let's be realistic again, you can not LOVE someone you barely know. You can be attracted to the person, like or lust after him/her, but not LOVE. The true feeling of love comes when you genuinely KNOW a person.

Consistently with what I said in the previous paragraph, you can not expect her to LOVE you, or reciprocate ANY of your feelings if she does not KNOW you. Luckily for you, that also makes her rejection not personal, so you can stop obsessing about it.

Now, you have to answer the following question:
Is she painfully shy? (I.e. how does she behave around other guys?) If she is shy, maybe she just distances herself from all members of opposite sex who say they like her -- out of shyness;

If that's not the case, she probably does not know what to do next. So yes, you like her, now what? That's why you might want to make the first move and convey what you want from her -- i.e. ask her out for lunch or something.

[ChrisHohl]

Quote:

Originally posted by IceQueen
Let's be realistic. You have already told her how you feel about it, and you already saw her reaction (and believe me, she GOT what you were trying to convey). Don't fool yourself thinking that if you tell her again and again, her reaction is going to be different.

Besides that, let's be realistic again, you can not LOVE someone you barely know. You can be attracted to the person, like or lust after him/her, but not LOVE. The true feeling of love comes when you genuinely KNOW a person.

Consistently with what I said in the previous paragraph, you can not expect her to LOVE you, or reciprocate ANY of your feelings if she does not KNOW you. Luckily for you, that also makes her rejection not personal, so you can stop obsessing about it.

Now, you have to answer the following question:
Is she painfully shy? (I.e. how does she behave around other guys?) If she is shy, maybe she just distances herself from all members of opposite sex who say they like her -- out of shyness;

If that's not the case, she probably does not know what to do next. So yes, you like her, now what? That's why you might want to make the first move and convey what you want from her -- i.e. ask her out for lunch or something.

You're ****ing retarded.

First of all, I have known her for a year and a half, barely know her? I know her very very well, in fact, we are close friends.

Anyway, my problems run much deeper then I originally thought. Nobody can help me any longer, this no longer involves just me, and I have a terrible problem involving multiple people now. I'm not going to be coming back, I need to work this out on my own, goodbye.

[GigaloDJ]

I only read the first few lines.

Don't love someone that doesn't love you. You will only get hurt.

Forget her. It may be hard, but the more you think about her, the more it will hurt you. It's called One-Itis.

The only way to get rid of "One-Itis" is to keep yourself very busy. Hang out w/ friends and indulge yourself in your hobbies. Go out and find some girls.

[LightOn]

What starts with fear ends with folly....