Talked with Ms. "Not My Scene"

I went to a party of my b/f's friends the other night. He said he wanted to at least make an appearance. Turns out it was mostly singles. We sat alone at a table since we didn't know anyone. At one point a woman at an adjacent table invited us to join them. We were in the middle of a conversation and said we would join them in a bit. The woman who invited us was very scantily clad and I notcied my b/f watched her everytime she walked by.

After a while my b/f said something like "Quite a bunch huh?" "What do you mean" I asked. "Not really my crowd" he said. "Why is that?" I asked. "I don't typically hang with the big hair, lots of makeup, mini-skirt type crowd. You know... I like artsy fartsy people."

A little while later he suggested we go around and introduce ourselves since we were the outsiders and felt it would be rude otherwise. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that but that he could go ahead and do it without me while I went and got food.

I came back 5 minutes later and saw he seemed to be in deep conversation with the women in mention and not many people were left at her table. I was kind of shocked and and went back to our table. He got a phone call just then from his son. Meanwhile the woman went up to dance. He watched her through his whole phone call and started kind of dancing where he was standing. I got the feeling he would like to be dancing with her.

I went up to him and said "I'm going to take off. Can you get a ride home?" He was a bit shocked and said "No. I'll leave with you." I told him it was not a problem if he wanted to hang there and I would just go home. "I invited you down here to hang out with you and I want to be with you." I said "Honestly, it seems ike you're having a good time and don't want to leave.. you can stay." He refused and left with me and told the host we might be back.

WHY WAS HE TALKING WITH THE WOMAN HE USED AS THE EXAMPLE OF PEOPLE THAT AREN'T HIS "SCENE"? When I asked him about her he said "Well she was at the table I introduced myself to.. it's not like I could skip her."

Why do I have the feeling if I hadn't been there he would have hooked up with her?

[Ellynn]

Well it sounds to me like this guy likes variety. And isn't he the one who was interested in pursuing a threesome with you and another girl? Also isn't he still married or at least in the process of a divorce?

He probably would have hooked up with her, had you not been there.

He sounds like trouble. If he acts like this in front of you, imagine what he's doing behind your back!

Im sorry, but a majority of your threads are pretty much about the same situation. (I even went back and read each of them that you started!) We constantly give you advice to lose this guy and yet you come back a month or so later with the same situation or at least something similiar. I know its not what you like to hear, but honestly I think you can do better. Why stay with someone who obviously wants something completely opposite of what you do? Until you believe that you can do better, there really is nothing we can do.

YOU are the only one who can change these situations by getting out of them, and moving on to someone worthwhile.

If you honestly love him that much, then its just something you are gonna have to deal with.

[Gigabitch]

Nebula, your jealousy is going to eat you from the inside out. Whatever happens with this guy, you'll have the problem.

Either you can trust him or you can't. It's not really something you can control. You CAN control how miserable he makes you every few weeks. Are you clear about the fact that you want him, but you don't need him? Do you know that you're in this relationship by choice and you could walk away whenever you want?

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nebulachic

Why do I have the feeling if I hadn't been there he would have hooked up with her?

Possibly.

But the question is, did he hook up with her?

No.

So stop fretting.

[vashti]

Yeah, I'm with Frasbee on this one, but mostly because I don't remember details of your previous posts.

It all comes down to this: there are loads of beautiful women in the world, and your man (no matter who you are with) WILL find them attractive and may even be tempted by them. The question is: is HE trustworthy? If he isn't, get rid of him. If he IS trustworthy, this sort of suspicion will only generate resentment on his part, so you'd better keep it to yourself.

[Frasbee]

Yeah, I'm with Vash on this one, but mostly because I don't remember details of your previous posts...and she agrees with me.

[thinker]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Nebula, your jealousy is going to eat you from the inside out. Whatever happens with this guy, you'll have the problem.

Either you can trust him or you can't. It's not really something you can control. You CAN control how miserable he makes you every few weeks. Are you clear about the fact that you want him, but you don't need him? Do you know that you're in this relationship by choice and you could walk away whenever you want?

Yes, well put.

To me, this sounds innocent enough (maybe not the staring, gawking bit, but hey... some people are just like that I guess...)

He very well may be a bit "loose" in terms of this, and YOU should bring this up to let him know it upset you and that you want to make things clear that you are his only girl... I mean, he could have said "later" when you were going to leave, but sounds like he was just being friendly (a little too much, maybe) But I completely agree with giggly wiggly in that it is YOU that controls how you feel and deal with the situation; I would honestly tell him how it made you feel and ask if he would have felt differently had YOU done that to some hot guy. If he's just that type, then sounds like he's not for you.