What to do?

[Fisiolka]

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[TheSab]

tell the girl shes being used for revenge

[Fisiolka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSab

tell the girl shes being used for revenge

Thanks
I tried that. She doesn't believe me. She doesn't care what I say. She is young. (23 and my partner 34) She tried to kill herself (that's what my partner said), took some pills and landed in hospital. She did it over someone she never met and she doesn't know (only through emails and phone). To me this game is silly, boring and I am fed up with it.
I wrote few emails to her explaining that we are together and we want to make things right. Didn't help. She thinks I am the bad one stopping them from meeting each other. He doesn’t want to break the contact with her because she tried to kill herself over him. ?????

[TheSab]

she sounds weird, what country is she from?? tell her bad things about him, bad habbits, ask her why she's wasting her time on him when she can have a lovely young single guy..

[Fisiolka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSab

she sounds weird, what country is she from?? tell her bad things about him, bad habbits, ask her why she's wasting her time on him when she can have a lovely young single guy..

I know she is weird. She is from Spain. I told her that she doesn't know him and she can have nice life with someone real and single. I told her not to waste her time and leave us. But she is sending all those emails to my partner so he can see what I am writing. So I can’t write anything bad about him.
My partner has got children from previous relationship. She knows about it but she doesn't realize how real life is!!! I am attached to those kids and they are to me. But I was 23 when I met him and I know how strange and difficult it can be sometimes. It takes so much time and effort to achieve what I did. I think she is only playing with us now because he messed up with her head. And I have enough of him being like this. Thinking about her and thinking about meeting her. I have really enough of this stupid game!!!!!!!!

[vashti]

I don't think your man was very serious about this relationship even aside from the new girlfriend. I mean, think about it: he wants you to help with household expenses and doesn't mind you helping to raise his kids, but keeps you waiting to get married for two years? Do you even have a date set, invitations printed etc.? This girl is just icing on the cake.

I don't think this relationship is going anywhere, and from the sound of it, you should be happy you aren't stuck with him in a marital situation. I think you are justified in moving on.

[Fisiolka]

Yes you are right. We have been together long and there was nothing about the date of our 'big day'. I have to say I wanted to wait a bit before we do it because I wanted to make sure this is right. We engaged just after we moved in to our first rented accommodation so I wanted to live with him for while first and get to know him better (and his kids). We had some problems but he was always to busy to talk about it. And everything went slowly wrong. But we had good time as well. And as I am an optimist (maybe bit naive) I though it's just temporary and that soon everything will be fine. I got better and better with his kids and now I really care about them. No matter what I still had a dream about us getting married and that is why we bough this house. Then we had planned to get married. Now like you say it's just an icing on the cake with this girl. But I want to rescue all this because it's not like he had a real affair. He can't see it's just an internet crash! He should stop it and gave us a chance. He doesn't and I know I should leave. He is not letting me.

[vashti]

What do you mean "he isn't letting you"? Is he physically restraining you in some way?

[Fisiolka]

No but he doesn't want to sign the papers. To sell the house. He is saying he loves me and doesn't want to loose me. He really messing with my head.

[vashti]

If you decide you are going to leave him, you can get an attorney to take care of that.

He sounds manipulative.

[Fisiolka]

Thanks I will have a look. Thanks for your post!!