Originally Posted by lissa
If a boyfriend told me he didn't think I was attractive anymore because I gained weight I would so angry and insulted and I don't know if I'd ever feel the same way towards him. Telling someone you're not attracted to them anymore and won't ever be unless they lose weight? That's totally rude and youre putting her in a position where you are forcing her to lose weight in order to stay with you. Way to make her feel totally insecure about herself.
Honesty is good, but you wouldn't walk up to someone and tell them their ugly because you believe in being honest, would you? Honesty is NOT always the best policy.
Here's what you do - if she brings it up you can encourage her to work out and eat healthy. Tell her that you've been thinking of going to the gym more or cutting back on junk food because YOU feel like you've gained weight and want to get in shape. If you really love her than you will be willing to put up with her weight gain. If it bothers you, you can gently nudge her, but telling her that you aren't attracted to her anymore cause she's fat is just messed up.
Honesty IS the best policy
Not bluntness and disregard for her feelings though, and I never suggested saying "You're fat/ugly. Fix it" becuase that would obviously be disgusting.
By NOT being honest, thus letting things go unspoken, it will eventually become too much for you and you will explode and it will be much worse than the pain it would cause if you mentioned it early on. That is my point; and I will stick with it becuase it is true!
I sill see so many people saying that physical attraction is one of the most important things in a relationship... and I am a bit saddend by how shallow some peolpe are. We don't love someone becuase they're beautiful, they're beautiful becuase we love them. Apparently all to many people see physical attraction as a purely objective thing, which it is not. Lots of people, for whatever reason, LIKE girls who are say 25 lbs. overweight... I know I do not find the overly skinny girls attractive... All I am saying is that physical attraction should be based on inner attraction; If you really loved this girl, she would be beautiful no matter what, and the weight issue would only concern you becuase of her health, and you would be able to talk openly about it like two mature adults in a serious relationship. Read the original post again, ppl... this is not the case in point. I'm not saying he should tell her outright "You are fat" nor keep it to himself. There is a happy medium where he would be sincerely concerned for her and would be able to express that positively. How can people honestly say that they don't love someone anymore becuase of their appearance? What if you got in an accident and your face was severely messed up for the rest of your life? Would you understand that your wife/husband wants to leave you for someone attractive? Come on people, redeem yourself
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