Is it over?

[inspector_simon]

Recently, my honey bear broke up with me. I'm having a hard time coping, but she said that we'd get better if I'd appreciate her more. She says that she wants to start over, and be friends "first". She also now complains about me being in her space. I know I am, but I am trying harder to keep her because I REALLY love her. Anyway, does it sound at all to you guys that, if I do what I say I will, she'll get back with me?

[thinker]

There is nothing to lose, I see, other than the time and effort it takes to give it a shot. I would serisouly go for it; you are LUCKY that your ex may still harbor some feelings for you; it is usually quite the opposite! Sounds like you are young; how old exactly are you? A common problem in younger relationships is this "smothering" business; sounds like she feels she has no space or time for herself. Well, while you are back in the "healing" stages of friendship, try to be a bit more, not sure how to say this... in control of things? What I mean is... well you sound a bit like me I wanted to spend every waking moment with my ex, which didn't work out so well, and I can understand my errors in retrospect. Set aside certain days/times to be together, and then give her some time to miss you! She needs some time to recalibrate and think and let things settle in her mind and heart before getting a new batch of things to think about, and sounds like she feels a bit "bombarded" at least she did in the past. I say go for it, but play it cool and I guess just make her want you by doing the whole "coy" act... soudns like she doesn't want a clinger...

Oh, and just becuase I like to say this sort of thing... You way that you "REALLY love her..." and yet you have been broken up for some time now... does she approve of you still calling her "honey bear"? All I'm saying is that it will only confuse things and throw them way out of proportion to use words like "love" when you mean "have feelings for" or "still care deeply about." Love is mutual, and right now you are experiencing the oxymoron of unrequited "love" which is not love at all. I know, I know, you're going to bitch me out for telling you how to run your feelings without knowing you... flame away if you so desire. I would just ask you to honestly consider that though you DO have extraordinarily powerful feelings for this girl, it may not be "love" yet, and there is much more to come... just think about that and don't go throwing around loaded words like that (watch jerry springer and the stalkers who have "loved" these women for years... you will share my discontent with the abuse of the word) Anyways, just be yourself and be honest, yet give her time to miss you and let things settle for a while between visits. I wish you the best of luck, and make sure to let us know anything else that happens!

[inspector_simon]

I really do think we do, or at least did, love each other. But you have a valid point; I'm just afraid of two big things: She'll think TOO MUCH, and she could date someone else. We used to be better than that. I don't understand it, really.

[Gigabitch]

Sounds like you have no say in the matter whatsoever. From your post, it seems like appreciation wasn't what was lacking.

I think you worship her, and it sounds like a very unbalanced relationship to me. IMO, you should try to spend some of this time off getting yourself back on center.

[Frasbee]

IT'S OVER!!!