NEED DRASTIC HELP!, hopeless case?

[schfifty three]

this girl im falling for, i used to go to school with her, then after 8th grade i moved and i live a half hour away. i talk to her online mostly every day possible. i will see her on august at an anime convention. she tells me of 3 kids tried to ask her out and she said no and shes not looking for romance and is gonna be alone for the rest of her life. i asked her why she thinks that and she says cuz she thinks she is ugly. i told her thats nonsense but she still beleives so. she doesnt like flowers or things like that, unlike most girls, she likes gifts she can use, like this final fantasy 12 soundtrack she wants but cant get because she doesnt have a job this summer. her birthday is a week after the anime convention so i was thinking of getting her something but i dont know what. i wanna tell her there, but i dont know what to say, and i have no idea what to do in this situation. please help me out here, i am really desperate for advice...

[Ellynn]

First off, how old are you guys now?

Sounds like you are in high school. I hope I'm not wrong. Anyways, shes going thru an awkward time in her life where she is changing. Girls tend to sometimes feel ugly at that age. So much competition in high school and then theres the popular crowds etc. It can all be intimidating.

Why not get her the soundtrack she wants? I mean if anything its a friendly gesture. I wouldn't expect more from her. I mean you both are young and honestly spending 10-15 bucks on a cd isn't a bad gift idea. At least its something she can use etc. In time maybe she will grow interested. If not then maybe you will gain a friend out of it.

[XoXo]

I agree with ellynn b/c if she told you that she wan the soundtrack, but she doesn't have enough money to buy it....then why not buy her the soundtrack for her birthday? I think she would be very happy to receive it. She'll know that you're very considerate and that you remember everything that she told you (unlike most guys...they don't remember crap).

also...she have a low self systeem problem. If she think she is ugly and you think she's pretty...let her know. The more you comment her, the better she will feel. A girl loves comment. TRUST me! It will cheers he up. Let her know how pretty she is.

[schfifty three]

good ideas, thanx, ill get that cd then ^_^

[schfifty three]

ok, i am gonna get the cd, i was wondering now how to aproach the situation. Do i just tell her the first day i love her or what do i even say, or should i just tell her on the last day, im very nervous about this whole situation but i may not get another chance, im very desperate!

[GrkScorp]

I don't mean to laugh but...

LMFAO!!! omg.. Such a flashback...

Sorry about that.. had to get it out..

Well... So.. Hmm... My Sanctuary is an awsome song, have the CD myself.. and I must say.. the Japanese version is SoOoOoOo much better... anyway...

About telling her right away... yeah... that would be a little scarry...

Let me tell you a little story that will hopefully shead some light into how girls think at this age about boys who are interested...

See.. in Highschool.. If the ugly girl looked at you, it was YUCK at first... but then.. it was like.. ehh.. i'm attractive to some degree...

Then.. if the cute girl looked at you.. and knew your name.. and talked to you.. and said you were cute.. and that she loved you.. then.... you might not even wanted to go out with her.. but you felt amazing... wanted.. hot.. sexy... cool...

Now.. if a gay guy on the train was looking at you.. blowing kisses.. calling you cute.. saying he wanted to hang out sometime.. You would be sh*tting in your pants...

I'll tell you why.. because now you'd be thinking.. (what the fcuk does this guy want from me??) Sex?? A relationship?? I don't think i'm ready for that.. or ever will be (I hope)..

Now.. you know how girls feel... kinda.. Even if you're cute.. or cool.. or whatever.. I bet you're a really nice kid.. caz most kids who are into FFXII and anime (Guessing Naruto).. are cool people... (I use the term cool very loosely)..

Anyway.. If you're a girl.. and this guy likes you, or you find out that he loves you... WORST!!!.. from HIM!!! then you are sh*tting in your pants too... caz if you're a girl.. your dad has already fed you all this crap about "the only thing these boys have on their minds" as a way of making sure you don't have sex anytime soon... and now.. you can only look at this boy (YOU) with fear of him wanting to have sex with you.. or get into something serious.. even though you are not yet ready to...

Talk about jumping to conclusions.. yes I know.. gotta hate dads... ANYWAY!!!

So.. what do you do? GET HER THE CD!!! ASK YOUR PARENTS FOR THE GAME!!!
She not into games??? that's ok.. i'm sure she's into anime.. i'm shur she likes drawing the characters.. i'm shur she'd enjoy a nice Paper and Pencil RPG..

http://www.theninja-rpg.com/

You have to not be too direct.. It's like catching a bird.. You love the bird.. but it's scared of you if you are direct about it.. So.. you don't go to grab it (Hey "Her Name", I love YOU)... you give it some bread, worms, water.. (FFXII CD, Link to Game).. you pet it to let it know that it's safe with you... (Play the Ninja Game, watch anime, talk, let her know you, and get to know her)... and then.. you take it home once it trusts you and (FCUK THE SHIT OUT OF IT!!!).. Just Kidding...

Then.. the two of you can start to SLOWLY have a relationship... Because NOW.. you only know ONE thing.. that YOU love her.. but she might not even like you.. YET... So be cool... but be yourself.. because the two of you can click and I can tell... so.. After you get to know eachother and get on a closer level.. you can start by telling her that you feel that she's "more than a friend to you"... OR!!! you can do my personal favorite... Be smart about it.. and build up the romantic tension.. until she just can't wait till you ask her to be your gf.. and JUST when she looks at you.. it's your time to say.. "I love you too"..

[GrkScorp]

Ahh.. yes.. almost forgot..

Under no circumstances are you to EVER.. let her know that you (like, love) her..

You may only do so.. After you are at least (90%) positive that she likes you too..
Then.. it's your call.. You can tell her that you like her too (She jumps for joy)..

OR.. let it build up for no more than a week.. (and she does a backflip out of joy)..

For some strange reason.. if you let her know that you love her or like her.. there is a 3/4 chance ... (75%).. that she will lose any intrest in you...

If she doesn't know... and you play along.. don't tell anyone... (it's not a secret if more than two people you).. and those two people are you and yourself...

You have to read her signals.. but don't overanalyze... until you are positive she likes you.. and then.. you tell her...

It's like set into stone for guys and girls at this age.. don't ask why.. it's life...

[schfifty three]

thanx for the advice, this may be my last chance, but i still shouldnt say anything to her even at the end of the convention?

[GrkScorp]

Let me call u naru.. caz it's easier for me...

I know there's no time to explain why it may be ur last chance.. but NO!!!

Unless you KNOW she likes YOU... NO!!!

If you THINK she may like you.. and if you FEEL that you two are somehow close and comfortable with eachother... then yes...

FIne... I guess so... be like... by the way.. I found out some news...

there's this guy who really likes u..

he's cute, funny, smart.. cool...

HER: what's his name??

I think u know him... it's "YOUR NAME"

[mahouyuki]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

FIne... I guess so... be like... by the way.. I found out some news...

there's this guy who really likes u..

he's cute, funny, smart.. cool...

HER: what's his name??

I think u know him... it's "YOUR NAME"

Lol, I'd laugh if he really does that and the girl knows someone else with the same name and she ends up dating the other guy. :D lol. Btw, not all guys that like anime are good guys (i kno a guy thats sorta like a pimp that likes anime :P)

Good luck Schfifty three

[schfifty three]

thanx ^_^, im so nervous/excited

[blacksun]

If your into anime your probably pissed off at the world or arent fitting into highschool culture.

[Gigabitch]

What you do at this stage is very important because it sets the tone for all future relations with this girl.

First of all, she will smell desperation on you like stinky cologne. Let me assure you, she is interested in you, or she wouldn't be telling you she turned down three guys. You don't have to be desperate.

Secondly, I think you should act like you have no intention of asking her out because you respect her emo-sucking-black-hole-of-need comment that she'll be alone forever. Buy her the CD that she so sullenly requested and tell her you're glad that you can still be friends. Tell her it's too bad she's not available for more. Then walk away and have a good time at the convention.

She'll come to you.

[schfifty three]

nice ideas guys, u guys/girls are all like pros at this stuff ^_^. I just found out that we are both staying at the same hotel @_@, she likes tennis alot and i always fool around saying i could destroy her at tennis, so now the day we check in, the day before the convention, she wants to play me! i told her i was just kidding and i cant even hit the ball in bounds but she still wants to beat me xD.
(p.s. grkscorp, thanx for the link to that nija game, it is working very nicely and we are both playing it, u can even get married in the game, and she keeps saying she wants to marry somebody who has the sharingan bloodline, *crosses fingers* hope i get it!)

[Gigabitch]

Ooo! I see an opportunity to get close while she's helping you figure out how to hold the raquet.

Same hotel? This is gonna be good..........