Please help, urgent need advice by monday. - Love Forum

enterprise · #1 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 06:09 AM

There is this girl named lauryn at work, shes been there for 3 days,tomarrow will be her 4th and last as it is only a summer job for us. anyway, i really, really, really, really like her, shes fun, funny, enjoyable and not to mention as an added bonus, good looking.

anyway, i really would want to ask her out but i'm shy and the last girl i asked out sent me a rejection email (how sad was that on her behalf), i was upset for abotu an hour and got over it realzing how stupid i was for wanting to go out with someone so mean

anyway i really like her, kno her better than i knew the last girl (i knew the last 1 for years) and i really like her.

I kno i'm young (14, 15 in december) and shes 15/16 (not sure about her b-day). shes in grade 11 at an all girls chool, i'm in grade 10 of a mixed girls/boys school. So i will likely never see her after monday so it's then or never, some people reccomend i just ask her for coffee one day but then i, i, i, i'm shy and well i can't help feel like shes gonna reject me the more i think about it. i really like her and well if i was me and you were her, and you laughed and talked and had fun around me and i was a greade below you and asked you out, what would your reaction be?

Would you say yes?
no?
have to think about it?

I just kept ramblimng but i'm tired as thinking baout this kept me up in bed for 4 hours last night.

thanks in advance,
Joe "the shyguy"

Henry123 · #2 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 06:29 AM

If you have the courage I suppose you can ask her for her number and to "keep in touch". As her for a coffee is probably a good way to go.
Good luck

enterprise · #3 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 06:32 AM

1. i like ur sig, i agree with it

2. can you elaborate on that? i mean get her number and to "keep in touch" well is that would you mean and then talk to her on the phone every little while and then finally ask her out when i get to know her better?

Henry123 · #4 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 06:53 AM

Hey thanks Enterprise for the compliment.

Now presuming that you already know each other. Just say something like this "Hey Lauryn would you like to have coffee with me sometimes" or "Hey we should keep in touch and maybe have coffee afterwards"

Well basically asking her out for coffee is a way to ask her out to date later.
(providing your brave enough to ask. I have this problem sometimes.)

enterprise · #5 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 07:08 AM

i think i'll do that, thank you, very nice to take to a polite person who has the same problem as me

, 2 things htough

1. What shoudl i do, i'm very shy infront of my family, which means if we did go on a date my sisters woudl have a feild day bugging me and teasing me. and i would get nervous because of that and might back down.

2. I don't want to give the wrong idea, does coffee convey friend, girlfriend, or neither (depends on different variables) ?

I'll keep you posted after monday

,
Tray and get back to me asap
Joe "The shyguy"

Henry123 · #6 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enterprise

i think i'll do that, thank you, very nice to take to a polite person who has the same problem as me

,

Thanks

Shyness is my problem too. But I had some success when I feel brave enouigh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by enterprise

1. What shoudl i do, i'm very shy infront of my family, which means if we did go on a date my sisters woudl have a feild day bugging me and teasing me. and i would get nervous because of that and might back down.

2. I don't want to give the wrong idea, does coffee convey friend, girlfriend, or neither (depends on different variables) ?

I'll keep you posted after monday

,
Tray and get back to me asap
Joe "The shyguy"

1. You just have to brush it off. Just tell em your growing up now if they bug you.
But just remember you'll feel worst if you never had ask her and she leaves without her ever knowing you liked her. That feeling is a horrible feeling believe me.

2. Coffee could be pretty neutral. But its a step in the right direction.
You could ask her again in the future " Hey would you like to go out to coffee again?" (then it becomes sort of a date).
Maybe take her out to places in the future. (you do with what you can afford)

Henry123 · #7 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 07:24 AM

By the way. Dont think about it too much when you ask her. You have a tendency to talk yourself out of it if you do.

enterprise · #8 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 07:27 AM

agreed on that last 1 and i guess your right but i just can't help feeling like i have a better chance of failure due to age difference.

Henry123 · #9 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 07:35 AM

Not much of an age difference (a few years apart not a big deal really).

Theres people who are married who are 10 years or more apart in age.
You could try acting mature infront of her (not saying your not mature or anything like that) . Maybe that will impress her. So she thinks your older.

enterprise · #10 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 08:01 AM

well she knows how old i am so i can't really trick her but i'll tyr to be more mature

thinker · #11 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 08:19 AM

Heh... sorry to butt in on this two way conversation

Well, I suppose there is no harm in asking for some digits... honestly though I wouldn't

(This is just my opinion, mind you, so there is no need to take it or for that matter flame against me...

) I never had anything to do with girls until I was 18... I can remember back to 14/15ish (barely) and honestly it's not that big a deal... sorry to take the wind out of your sails... I would say go for it is you like; the worst that can happen is you make an ass out of yourself or she says no thanks... then you live on

I honestly don't even see the point of dating anyone until you have a car... do people honestly do this like with their parents chaperoning? I couldn't imagine...

Either way, you are making WAY to big a deal of this... chances are about as good as the lottery that this will become anything serious, sorry to say; I don't know many girls at 15 looking to settle down! (heck, I don't know any at like 24 either...

) but that's not to say it would be worthless! Just do it or don't do it and go with whatever you feel like! It's really that simple... you are overanalyzing (I know because I am the same way

) and that is only confusing you and making things harder. If you want my opinion, I would say keep your trap shut and you'd be better off. 15 year old girls are annoying...

enterprise · #12 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 08:49 AM

rofl i am not looking for a wife m8 just belive in practise makes perfect so the earlier i start to date the better i become?

and slo i don't mind just being friends but then how do i do that, i'm not good with girls in all areas, shed light on this and i'll be happy to recieve your advice xD.

thanx

thinker · #13 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enterprise

rofl i am not looking for a wife m8 just belive in practise makes perfect so the earlier i start to date the better i become?

and slo i don't mind just being friends but then how do i do that, i'm not good with girls in all areas, shed light on this and i'll be happy to recieve your advice xD.

thanx

Ha! That's good...

"Practice" certainly does make perfect; just as long as you don't treat girls like guinea pigs

and I'm sure you wouldn't

Hmm... I would actually try and avoid being "just friends" with everyone; girls see "friends" differently than guys; basically there is no way to move from "friend" to "girlfriend" (my opinion of course

) Though it certainly will not hurt to have lots of female friends, just so long as you don't have romantic feelings for them or have so many you become their bitch... I always hated that kid in high school...

Anyways, just be yourself

You sound like a great kid, and I'm sure you will have no problem finding girls to hang out with.

enterprise · #14 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thinker

Ha! That's good...

"Practice" certainly does make perfect; just as long as you don't treat girls like guinea pigs

and I'm sure you wouldn't

Hmm... I would actually try and avoid being "just friends" with everyone; girls see "friends" differently than guys; basically there is no way to move from "friend" to "girlfriend" (my opinion of course

) Though it certainly will not hurt to have lots of female friends, just so long as you don't have romantic feelings for them or have so many you become their bitch... I always hated that kid in high school...

Anyways, just be yourself

You sound like a great kid, and I'm sure you will have no problem finding girls to hang out with.

Thanx, and if i treated a girls like pigs i'd get slapped to much :p
Even if nothing happends with this girl i like her a lot can't stop thinking baout her but then like everyother kid it's probobly just a crush and will end at somepoint. i don't know anyother way to do this and still get to see her because dating or not i enjoy my time with her, shes the first girl i'v met (not online) that i'v been able to talk to so easily.

Cause even around girl i don't like i'm shy. + Although i don't liek to bring it up I am a lucky person i'm just one of those people that everyone gets along with, i kno almost all the guyz in my grade i'v hung out with everygroup atlest once and i can handle the guyz pretty well but when it ocmes to girls thats where i get trouble. If they didn't make me so nervous i'd be able to talk to them which is why i'm don't know how to continue this as friends.

anysuggestions m8?

(wow i ramble on a lot online, if i was as outgoing offline as online i'd be good, i prolly have more online friends that are girls that i can talk to then reverse, i girl named nina which is particularly fun tto talk to online, we always talk for atlest an hour, shes my age to and we get along well, she pretty too so i don't know why but i just can't seem to talk to girls in real life well.

anyway end of ranmblem, any advice you can give me from all this info would be helpful

,
Henry123 and Thinker so far u guyz been gr8

EDIT: And most importantly around girls i fund myself blank like scrabble without letters, nothing to say at all, no way to continue the conversation.

thinker · #15 (**permalink**) 27-08-06, 08:59 PM

Heh... I draw blanks and sound like an idiot in front of girls too

That hasn't gotten any better over the years sorry to say

I totally know what you mean; part of you wants to shower her with compliments; the other part wants to play it cool and pretend like you're someone you're not... and you can sound perfectly natural and suave but once you get in front of her: "Uh.... hi... I'm uh... uh... jake? That's cool... uh.... uh..."

All I can say is you get a bit more comfortable over time; sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself; you say you are an easygoing guy, which is a great start! This sounds bad, but start off on ugly girls

at least girls you don't feel pressured to show your stuff to. They are evil sometimes, but still humans like we are. It will come in due time, just don't feel so pressed to make a perfect impression; be yourself, and the right girls will come to you