I need advice about this

[J_scobar]

ok
here is my story

i(23) meet a girl(26) 4 months ago we went out a couple of times
and also i spent the night at her house most of those times(9 or 10 times). but i haven't seen her since last halloween party. we still talk on the phone every other day and stuff but lately since we live about 1 hour away drive from each other we can't see much. even though i know she likes me a lot still and i like her a lot to something is not going right is like something is stopping her or me to take it to the next step(official boyfriend). sometimes i think that the faq that she live by her self and is looking for a job(for about 3 month) don't let her concentrate in me. sometimes i say forget it i'm not calling her no more but then i try putting my self in her shoes and don't see me acting any better than that after not working for about 3 or 4 month.
my friends tell me why i'm with (kind of)her when thare are a lot of girls than want to be with me.
the true is i was a player before but now i'm a grown man and i don't want to hurt any more girls or loose this one.

Does the age difference have anything to do with it?

Should i keep trying to make this work or walk away from it?

tell anything that could help or whatever

[IceQueen]

Quote:

since we live about 1 hour away drive from each other we can't see much.

When there's a will there's a way.
Tell me about the initiative. How is it, you offer she declines, or you both offer you both decline? Who is the one who declines whose offers?

Don't forget though that she has a place to pay rent for and she has no job so she may have 0 money to spare for dates.

[MVPlaya]

You used to be a player but you make mistakes like this? Forgive my skepticism...

Now,

you call her too often yet see her too little. The key to everything is moderation (in a wild/exciting sort of way). If you call her all the time, like every other day, you get boring, if you never call her, you're not taken serious. You haven't seen this girl since Halloween, that over 2 months, buddy! Why is that? Did you set up dates with her only to be rebuffed or have them cancelled at the last minute by her? If so, take a hint, 2 months is a strangely long time.

Now, here's the KEY to having a succesful Long Term Relationship (LTR):

Women, when they first meet men, are all excited little girlies. They don't love the guy (most don't, anyway), and they don't have a serious feeling, its whimsical for the most part. What they do have is INTEREST. Remember that word because interest is key to everything. Interest is what strings her along so this should be your strategy when trying to have an LTR. Women don't fall in love quickly, they may have crushes, but crushes end, so your goal is to have her develop a genuine and lasting attraction. Confessing your love to her won't do it, in fact, you'll be taken for granted (read: boring) and she'll even be scared (read: consider you weird) sometimes. Therefore, try to be a little mysterious. Don't put her 1st in your life... you have your own things going on, goddamnit! Make some time for her once in a while, but show her SHE HAS TO WIN YOU OVER. By showing some interest in her, but nothing to make her take you for granted, she becomes attracted to you and has to struggle a little. You have to PLAY HARD TO GET, this seems fairly elementary for Players/Don Juans. Now, if you can keep her interest going on long enough, she'll begin to develop real emotions for you and that is key to an LTR. Also, you say that you want to be her official boyfriend. Why official? What the hell does that have to do with anything? Sounds like you're just insecure. What matters is being her REAL boyfriend. In my relationships with women I never officially declared anything or said "lets be exclusive," we became that and if it needed to be dictated the relationship sucked anyway. Hollywood movies have guys think that something exists, known as the Magic Moment. The Magic Moment is when the leading hunky actor kisses the girl he is in love with, they hug, and they live happily ever after. In real life, she goes home and starts thinking about him and is interested in knowing his next move. Guys believe in this Magic Moment that will make their fling into an IMMEDIATE LTR. That is not right, an LTR is simply a Short Term Relationship that lasted long enough to be an LTR. Therefore, get rid of this Magic Moment block and learn to live a little more day by day.

Now, you haven't seen her in a while, you have 2 options: stay or leave. I pick leave because you haven't seen her in 2 months. But ultimately, you make the choice. So I offer you this option, gauge her Interest Level. Call her and set up a date. Ex.

ME: What are you doing this weekend.
HER: Bla bla bla... waxing my legs, polishing my nails, shopping (read: NOTHING)
ME: I'm free this Sunday, lets go out for dinner.

The key to that sentence is lets, not will you or do you want to. No, a pure and simple manly LETS. See, lets is assertive (read: confident) and that is a trait women are attracted to, the other two sorry phrases are asking for approval, these phrases are insecure, they don't know whether she wants to come and this is unnatractive, clearly the male doesn't value himself enough. So call her, schedule a date, if she is busy, says no, still looking for her job after 3 months, you know where you stand: nowhere. If she goes out with you, stay mysterious, check out her IL on the date, and don't get excited and girly, stay confident.

Now get to it!

[J_scobar]

IceQueen

When there's a will there's a way.
Tell me about the initiative. How is it, you offer she declines, or you both offer you both decline? Who is the one who declines whose offers?
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we have lot in common and i love being around her, i even see someone like her as my wife. OK here is the deal she says that since we didn't know from before we started going out she can't get involve with me because she is being carefull about being hurt. She personally while i was at her house last time told me that since she like me so much she want to kind of be sure i feel the same. she tells me is hard to believe that i was a player and now i'm not. i know a lot how to treat girls and that makes her think she is not the only one around. the funny thing is that this is the first time i come to a girl telling the true from the start about everything and that is cause i'm serious now and not playing.

should i offer her to be her bfriend after sleeping with her a couple of times?