how to project a more than friends mentality - Love Forum

Off2College · #1 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 07:02 AM

Well I'm a freshman at college and i'm the president over like 700 people, so everyone thinks of me as a politician dude and friend, which i am. but when it comes to girls, i can't move beyond the friends mentality. I've hung out with some girls so far, but each and everytime i never got out of the friends image. Like i don't know how to flirt or anything, although i am very social in everything BUT the flirting sense.

tips?

Gigabitch · #2 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 07:04 AM

Date SOMEBODY, ANYBODY. Make out with her her in public.

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 07:36 AM

Don't hang around girls like you are their friend. Once they think of you as a friend, it is hard to see anything else.

Det.Bookman · #4 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Don't hang around girls like you are their friend. Once they think of you as a friend, it is hard to see anything else.

I find one of the better ways to get to a girl's heart is to be her friend first. I think, especially for some of the more attractive ones, they appreciate a guy who's not thinking about sex or romance from the beginning.

Although you gotta make a move at some point.

#5 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rich29_cal

I find one of the better ways to get to a girl's heart is to be her friend first. I think, especially for some of the more attractive ones, they appreciate a guy who's not thinking about sex or romance from the beginning.

Although you gotta make a move at some point.

No. They're horny little girls, and sometimes they just want to be ****ed.

Det.Bookman · #6 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

No. They're horny little girls, and sometimes they just want to be ****ed.

I'm betting, though, that you wish you had a chance with just one girl.

Off to ignore you go, sad sad little boy.

Frasbee · #7 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 11:34 AM

You know how to be friendly.

But you don't know how to flirt?

Just be overly friendly.

Aaaaand done.

HopelssRomantic · #8 (**permalink**) 27-09-06, 11:57 AM

just date someone. the first person isnt gunna be your wife...

so just leave room for growth, mistakes, ect.

kinda like a practice....but if you wanna be a good date/bf dont make her feel like you are just using her for practice!

just be nice...

personally, i like guys that act the same around me when they flirt as they do with their friends..just want to hang out with me more than their friends.

its not that hard..you just need to get used to it....

definatly make out with her in public. hehe

Off2College · #9 (**permalink**) 29-09-06, 12:17 PM

Well i don't have time to practice right now, with school work and everything. So i'd like to go for a "good" one, preferably an inexperienced girl so we'll figure stuff out together. I know going too fast does NOT work. one girl friend of mine (that i liked for a bit) broke up with her bf of 2 weeks (sigh, start of college), because he wanted some action but she thought he was going too fast. i also just saw another girl that i like completely shut out a dude who was completely hitting on her. like he would attempt to put his arms around her and she was like, "get off me" lol.

KillaJakez · #10 (**permalink**) 29-09-06, 11:35 PM

Im in NYU. I have hit on over 30 girls in one week. Heres what you do.

1.) Always look sharp and stylin for class. That one morning that you dont do your hair and put on clothes that are messy and dont brush your teeth (or anything of the sort) you will walk into a steamy hot girl that wants to talk to you. Thats a rule. Happens every time. I dont walk out of my house unless im sharp.

2.) Be aggressive. Dont say "can i have your number". Say, "Lets exchange numbers before I forget". You can do the facebook approach or AIM and get her number online if you are not so confident.

3.) Dont go for girls that KNOW they are hot. You hitting on them will only boost their ego. They may even smile as they reject you, or have a preplanned rejection ready. Be ready for these. Either put them down with a harsh comeback...as in...

"Wow...well..I lowered my standards, why couldn't you?"

or, do the patented Jake "Bitch get in your place". This is good but has to be done right.

You : "So tomorrow lets meet up for coffee on astor place [Notice how im not asking her to do it]
or: "So I usually have lunch in the dining area at 12:15...you can join me if you'd like" [Notice how again, im not ASKING HER, i am ALLOWING HER to join me. This is very crucial.
Her: "I have a boyfriend / "I dont have time to date" [This could come after the date]
You: " Oh Wait, you thought I was HITTING ON YOU? I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A STUDY PARTNER I THOUGHT YOU SEEMED COOL....Whatever I guess you arent mature enough for this"
Her : Buhh...Buhh What? Oh...Ohh...ok...
You: Bye.

I've had 75% success rate with this, and the girls usually IM me back and say whats up. Psychology dude.

Don't forget to be funny at times, talk slow with a confident voice, and project an air of ...confidence.

If i forgot anything someone please add on.

vashti · #11 (**permalink**) 29-09-06, 11:38 PM

Killajake is a player. I think that somewhere in between the "just friends" guy and Killajake is the ideal balance.

KillaJakez · #12 (**permalink**) 29-09-06, 11:48 PM

Vashti...with all due respect, I am NOT a player. I don't play with girls emotions, and I've never cheated on a girlfriend when I had one. I used to be like this guy, a shy, inexperienced person with no clothing or hairstyle, and i changed myself around because of some friends that told me that I could look much better and be more confident. It worked.

derm · #13 (**permalink**) 30-09-06, 12:02 AM

Killajakez man you are soooooooooooo my kinda guy.

I could add alot to your pointers maybe later but your so right about always looking your best, the air of confidence the I don't give a shit attitude and about not giving hot girls an inch.

We gotta get togethor

vashti · #14 (**permalink**) 30-09-06, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillaJakez

Vashti...with all due respect, I am NOT a player. I don't play with girls emotions, and I've never cheated on a girlfriend when I had one. I used to be like this guy, a shy, inexperienced person with no clothing or hairstyle, and i changed myself around because of some friends that told me that I could look much better and be more confident. It worked.

I'm glad it is working for you, but harsh comebacks and avoiding attractive girls seems counterproductive, althugh I agree about the confidence needing to be there and about looking your best. You say you hit on 30 girls in one week; how many of them have gone out on an actual date with you?

derm · #15 (**permalink**) 30-09-06, 12:26 AM

Vashti I don't think he said he avoided attractive girls. just a whole different set of rules if they are super attractive.

You gotta let them think they aint good enough for you or that you even find them attractive.

For example I was at a party with a few friends this summer. I was told about this hot gurl who would be there. My friend and I went along. My friend is an idiot where wemon are concerned He is just way OTT and comes accross as desperate.

I spoke with her for a while, was nice to her. Asked her lots of questions, flirted a bit, fetched her a drink, generally was very nice and had a laugh.

Then just when things were going good I told her I had to see someone and went over and spoke to my mates and another single girl.

My friend then approached her. he had a flirty smirk all over his face and was all over her. She went to the loo and instead of doing a beeline he stood there like an idiot for her to return, ignoring the rest of us.

On the way to the kitchen for more drink I stop to chat to her again for a split second and headed back again to my friends.

I really wanted to be with her but knew there was a game to be played first.

Eventually my friend blew it and it wasn't long before some other guy was chatting her up

Anyhow long story short..... it took me two weeks to meet her again and after a few hrs of playing it cool again I scored!