is it possible to remain friends with an ex?

[carbon]

is it possible to remain friends with someone you once cared deeply for/still care a lot about? my ex and i broke up two years ago, but i never really healed from the breakup because we never cut off contact completely - we would go for months without talking, and then INEVITABLY, someone starts the lines of communication again. this has been going on for 2 years and so while the wound was never allowed to properly heal, a lot of my insides have just died off, numb from all the pain i guess. during my more rational moments, i realize how sad it is that i have let this one relationship in my life hurt me so much.

i am now finally at the point where i feel like i will be fine if he is gone from my life forever, but he seems to still want a freindship. i just wish i knew what to do. a part of me really wants to be friends with him, like i am friends with my other guy friends. that part of me tells me that i am strong enough, but i don't know how much this strength can really hold up. can i really handle a friendship? can i handle seeing him with someone else if the situation arises? although i keep telling myself that i would be fine if i see him with someone else, i don't know how much i am lying to myself to protect myself from pain. so as much as i would love to be friends with him, i also know that i absolutely do not want to hurt anymore and by choosing to keep this freindship, i risk getting hurt everyday.

even as i type i find myself taking back my own words and feeling like i could never make it without him on my side as a friend. i dont know what to do. can i ever see him as just a friend without the emotional attachments? is this possible?

[Sami09]

from what you have said i dont think you are ready to be his friend yet maybe in the future i dont know. it seen like you really really cared about him a lot. i been with my bf for more then 3 years if we did break him i would find it hard to be friends but that me he would still want to be friends. sometiems when you say friends it mean friends with benefits. if it a guy you only dated for a month i would say yes it totally possible.

[Parky]

When my ex finished me, she said she didnt want to be friends because she thought i'd get the wrong idea. So i did 2 weeks of no contact and she called, because she missed me and wanted to be with me, but still she told me not to get the wrong idea. I went to see her, and things were different, she treated me like i was her boyfriend etc.

If you are friends, you have the chance to make it solid. I would give it a bit more time until you become friends.

[Gigabitch]

I think it's possible to stay in touch and call yourselves friends, but the truth is, you still love them and don't want to let go, if it's as vital as you describe.

If it were someone you didn't have really deep feelings for, sure, it's totally possible to just be friends after you break up.

[nateg20]

i dont think its a good idea. he's trying to keep you on a leash in case he gets desperate. cut it off clean. only type of friend he would be is the type with benefits. So i guess it comes down to what you want out of this reformed relationship.

[vashti]

In a word, no. If you can, then you weren't in love, IMO.