Found "the one"!! BUT...:( - Page 2 - Love Forum

Henry123 · #16 (**permalink**) 08-10-06, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurtDude

if I were the girl in this situation...what advice would you give me?

You only met her for 3 weeks. From my experience Giga is likely right she's just using you as an excuse to breakup over her boyfriend. I would leave it alone.

vashti · #17 (**permalink**) 08-10-06, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurtDude

if I were the girl in this situation...what advice would you give me?

I would tell the girl to make a choice.

Lewski711 · #18 (**permalink**) 08-10-06, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurtDude

A year ago?

This happened like a few days Ago.

Your advice seems very sound. Emotions definitly cloud the mind.

Sorry, I guess I just misread the dates. Well, I hope it works out for you.

sudheer · #19 (**permalink**) 09-10-06, 03:07 AM

At this moment she would be royally confused. She would be a changed person when she comes back. Give her support when she comes back. Take care of her no matter what her response to you is.. If you genuinely care for her, you will know what is the best way forward...

Till she comes back, there is not much you can do.. but reply to her messages..

MaliChan · #20 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 01:13 AM

I would say. drop it. For yourself, for her, and, you may not like this, for her boyfriend. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you like it if your girlfriend in the future goes out and get all close and intimate with another guy when you are not around her? That bastard would be having the time of his life while you will be in the dark, getting suspicious, and getting heartbroken eventually.

Today, that "bastard" is you, and retribution will come one day bro.

If she wants to be with you, she gotta break up first. What shes doing now is 2-timing her boyfriend. Of course the 3rd party is you, you would feel fantastic. Who wouldnt? Shes ditching her 7-years bf for you! If you do get together, next time you look back, you will know what a bastard you were. So dont break them up, if she breaks up on her own, then go for it.

Tell her what she is doing is wrong, and what you are doing is not right also, and that you don't want to be the 3rd party. If she comes back to you (after breaking up), then i'm all for it. If she goes back to him, it was never meant to be anyway.

My 2-cents worth.

Arx Fatalis · #21 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaliChan

I would say. drop it. For yourself, for her, and, you may not like this, for her boyfriend. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you like it if your girlfriend in the future goes out and get all close and intimate with another guy when you are not around her? That bastard would be having the time of his life while you will be in the dark, getting suspicious, and getting heartbroken eventually.

Today, that "bastard" is you, and retribution will come one day bro.

If she wants to be with you, she gotta break up first. What shes doing now is 2-timing her boyfriend. Of course the 3rd party is you, you would feel fantastic. Who wouldnt? Shes ditching her 7-years bf for you! If you do get together, next time you look back, you will know what a bastard you were. So dont break them up, if she breaks up on her own, then go for it.

Tell her what she is doing is wrong, and what you are doing is not right also, and that you don't want to be the 3rd party. If she comes back to you (after breaking up), then i'm all for it. If she goes back to him, it was never meant to be anyway.

My 2-cents worth.

disregard my last post in this topic...what this guy is saying is totally right ^^^^^

TDurden · #22 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 12:22 PM

it's entirely possible that all this is is infatuation. however, it's possible it's not. if she really does love you then she'll leave her boyfriend soon enough so long as you put some pressure on her to do so. personally, i wouldn't be so blunt as to say "make a choice: me or him" because that could really put her off. but occasionally bringing up the fact that you really care about her and want to be with, can only do you good. to summarize, just put some subtle pressure on her to leave the other guy and continue doing what you're doing.

TDurden · #23 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaliChan

I would say. drop it. For yourself, for her, and, you may not like this, for her boyfriend. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you like it if your girlfriend in the future goes out and get all close and intimate with another guy when you are not around her? That bastard would be having the time of his life while you will be in the dark, getting suspicious, and getting heartbroken eventually.

Today, that "bastard" is you, and retribution will come one day bro.

If she wants to be with you, she gotta break up first. What shes doing now is 2-timing her boyfriend. Of course the 3rd party is you, you would feel fantastic. Who wouldnt? Shes ditching her 7-years bf for you! If you do get together, next time you look back, you will know what a bastard you were. So dont break them up, if she breaks up on her own, then go for it.

Tell her what she is doing is wrong, and what you are doing is not right also, and that you don't want to be the 3rd party. If she comes back to you (after breaking up), then i'm all for it. If she goes back to him, it was never meant to be anyway.

My 2-cents worth.

if the only boyfriend she's ever had is the one she's had since she was 13, then there's a really good chance they aren't going to end up together. she'll leave him eventually pretty much no matter what. yeah, he may be being a bit un-ethical, but in all honesty if i were her boyfriend, i'd rather she leave me now than later.

HurtDude · #24 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 09:30 PM

update:

she came back from her home town...we hang out daily...again...

things between us are growing....and she told me "its inevitable, we are going to be together...i just have to break up with my boyfriend but this will kill him...i need some time to do it"

im thinking about a week or so possibly..

but then im asking her to stay single for 3 months before getting into a relationship with me.

Gigabitch · #25 (**permalink**) 10-10-06, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurtDude

but then im asking her to stay single for 3 months before getting into a relationship with me.

You are already in a relationship with her. Who do you think you're fooling?

sudheer · #26 (**permalink**) 11-10-06, 01:59 AM

She was there and did not break up with him, and in a week you expect her to break off? Something here is unreal.. Not too sure which part of the story

elNatural · #27 (**permalink**) 08-12-06, 11:46 AM

Giga is completely right here. Even though you do not have a tag on each other feelings for everyone else to see, you ARE in a relationship already. You have to be the wise one in this situation or your gonna get ****ed in a bad way later on. From my experience heres what will likely happen....

She breaks up with her current bf and you two keep hanging out together every moment you can. She never gives herself time to think about being happy with herself and no one else because she is already with you. Depending on her bf she is going to either feel horrible when she finally breaks up with him, or you may have a crazy guy after you. The biggest thing to worry about is that she will most likely do the same thing to you that she did to her past boyfriend. It is highly possible that she will never want to be single and needs that attention and affection constantly, which would explain why she has been in a relationship for 7 years. Do you know anything about her past? Her childhood? Anything traumatic happen?

It is very easy to get swept up in the flowing emotions shared between you two because you have never felt them with anyone else before. She is obviously in a curious stage in her life and I'm just afraid that once she no longer finds you curious she will go to the next guy. Be careful because no matter how well you think you know her, it doesnt mean you cant predict how she will act.

KillaJakez · #28 (**permalink**) 08-12-06, 12:58 PM

To reiterate what some other people said....
What makes you so sure she won't leave you and break your heart?
I am not in the position to say do it or don't, but I know personally, I would NOT,...NOT mess with a girl that is with another guy and is committed to him. She wants to break up with him? Fine! go ahead. But it wont be because of me. I found out the guy my girl cheated with (only making out nothing else), and only a last minute intervention by my best friend prevented a baseball bat from making contact with his kneecap. He knew she wasn't single, and he seduced her because she is naive and very easy to convince. (And because she is a slut (but in the non sleeping around type of way.. the flirtatious way).

Be careful whatever you do. Keep your guard up. Let us know what happens.

mydatingplaces · #29 (**permalink**) 08-12-06, 03:08 PM

You should never go with a girl who is cheating on her boyfriend, because i think if she breaks up with her boy and go further with you, she might cheat on you to after a couple of years, if she really loves you, she breaks up with her boy without cheating on you first....

Ellynn · #30 (**permalink**) 08-12-06, 07:13 PM

Wow, this is kinda old. I wonder what happened.

Anyways, this girl only was with one guy. Chances are that she was so used to that, she never thought about exploring other opporunities. Then she went off to college and it was a whole different world. She found an interest with you because you are new and different from her bf.

Facts are though is that she is still with him. She was still hanging on to him while exploring something with you. She needs to make a choice what she wants and yes should be single for a bit before being with you.
I wouldn't even bother trying to get w/ someone until I know for sure they are single. I don't care what they say. Plus, its sad to listen to her text you about how she wants to be with you while she is w/ her bf. Can you imagine how her bf would feel if he found this out?