Alot of confusion... and a lost friendship

[jb5k1]

Alright, this may sound a bit jumbled, but I'll do my best to explain it.

So, theres this girl I like, and like, we're friends and all too. Sooooooooo, last friday we were going to this little concert shindig at our school with a few of her friends (yea, everyone's from the same school.)

The plan was, they were supposed to get made up or whatever, then come to my house at like 6. At 6:20 I called them to see where they were, and they told me they were at school. Now, it would've been ok, but this isn't the first time this had happened, and to me, I think that isn't a very nice thing to do.

Now I was keeping my cool and all, and they were all "o jul, whats wrong" and I tried explaining what they did made me feel like a piece of shit (cause it happened so many other times). As I finished explaining how I'd felt, they gave me odd looks like I was speaking some weird unknown language, and told me to shut up.

I then proceeded to say I was going for a walk and that I'd be back. When I came back no more then 15 minutes later, they were like "o I thought'd u left". (do you see how I wasn't feeling wanted???)

Luckily I had some other real friends to talk to there and they were like, yea thats a pretty shitty thing to do. So I'm sitting there with the people I wasn't supposed to be with, and I'm all pissed and shit, and Julie (thats the girl i like) and her friends aren't answering my text messages or anything. So I sent Julie one that said "I hate you... I thought we were cool" I kno its definitely not the smartest thing to do, but it got some attention (just not the kind I wanted from them.

So... for the rest of the night, I'm trying to talk to her friends and tell her that I was kidding and the reason for the text. As i'm talking to her friends, they start laughing as they were looking past me, and I see Julie leaning around the corner to see what was goin on. Of course after that, she was still all mad at me and everything.

Ok thats 6 days ago today (thursday) and she still hasn't really talked. We have the same first period class and sometimes she sits near me with her friends. Today she wouldn't even turn around to look at her friend because she would see me.



Now can you please help me.. I dont really care about hooking up with this girl or anything, which was the original intention, but I just want my friend back, or both if possible

It's really sad to see that something as stupid as a text message would break up any relationship that we had.

please tell me if you need any more information, I only remember that night too vividly

[MVPlaya]

jb5k1

• Alright, this may sound a bit jumbled, but I'll do my best to explain it.
  
  So, theres this girl I like, and like, we're friends and all too. Sooooooooo, last friday we were going to this little concert shindig at our school with a few of her friends (yea, everyone's from the same school.)
  
  Excellent, within 3 sentences you've managed to convey to me that you are insecure and hesitant through an internet forum.
  
• The plan was, they were supposed to get made up or whatever, then come to my house at like 6. At 6:20 I called them to see where they were, and they told me they were at school. Now, it would've been ok, but this isn't the first time this had happened, and to me, I think that isn't a very nice thing to do.
  
  Its not, they're bitches for doing that. What you should've done was call them on their disrespectful games and show that you won't put up with that shit.
  
• Now I was keeping my cool and all, and they were all "o jul, whats wrong" and I tried explaining what they did made me feel like a piece of shit (cause it happened so many other times). As I finished explaining how I'd felt, they gave me odd looks like I was speaking some weird unknown language, and told me to shut up.
  
  Don't say they made you feel like crap. That means THEY have CONTROL over YOU. This way, you seem whiny and needy, instead, say that they pissed you off and SHOW that YOU don't need THEM. When you said that you seemed like a clingy whiny bitch (funny, usually this role is reserved for girls), and they told you to shut up for two reasons:
  
  1. They knew they could get away with it... their respect for you is low.
     
  2. They're not taking you serious, you want to stand up and they laugh you out because they know you're all talk, no walk, you confirm this later in your post.
• I then proceeded to say I was going for a walk and that I'd be back. When I came back no more then 15 minutes later, they were like "o I thought'd u left". (do you see how I wasn't feeling wanted???)
  
  They're being bitches, buddy. They're having fun disrespecting you, I think its fairly save to assume that you are a young teenager, maybe 15 or younger, and they are of similar age. Buddy, these hoes are not respecting you and they are having fun toying with you.
  
• Luckily I had some other real friends to talk to there and they were like, yea thats a pretty shitty thing to do. So I'm sitting there with the people I wasn't supposed to be with, and I'm all pissed and shit, and Julie (thats the girl i like) and her friends aren't answering my text messages or anything. So I sent Julie one that said "I hate you... I thought we were cool" I kno its definitely not the smartest thing to do, but it got some attention (just not the kind I wanted from them.
  
  That was an excellent TXT-MSG to send, if I had sent it, they would've apologized, in your case their mad because you have always been the slave and now you're revolting. Nonetheless, you are doing the right thing.
  
• So... for the rest of the night, I'm trying to talk to her friends and tell her that I was kidding and the reason for the text. As i'm talking to her friends, they start laughing as they were looking past me, and I see Julie leaning around the corner to see what was goin on. Of course after that, she was still all mad at me and everything.
  
  Here is where you CONFIRM to me (PROVE) that you really are just their puppy. You stand up for yourself and for the rest of the night you're telling them not to take you serious. Then Julie gets mad at you. What right does she have? They disrespected you, you voiced your opinion. Your conception of reality is disgusting, YOU are right in this case, THEY are not. Pure and simple... case closed.
  
• Ok thats 6 days ago today (thursday) and she still hasn't really talked. We have the same first period class and sometimes she sits near me with her friends. Today she wouldn't even turn around to look at her friend because she would see me.
  
  Wow, you must really be her bitch. Buddy, she is a conniving manipulative hoe who is consciously doing all these mindgames with you for the CONTROL she gets from it. Why should she be mad at you? Because you stood up for yourself?
  
• Now can you please help me.. I dont really care about hooking up with this girl or anything, which was the original intention, but I just want my friend back, or both if possible.
  
  Forget about getting her back, you won't. And don't say you don't want to hook up with her when you clearly do. And what do you mean with "I just want my friend back"?
  
  WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE - WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?
  
  They are not your friends, they are manipulative and abusive, you have your own group of friends, just write these ones off and forget about them. For added dignity talk to her and BUST HER OUT! Yes. Tell her she's conniving, heartless, and that you don't care about her and her puppy friends who are all pitiful. But I don't think you're man enough to say that, or if you did manage to speak, you would be insecure, stutter, and back down from your words the moment they questioned you / tested you. I don't take shit from hoes, ever. These girls have ZERO respect for you, if they don't respect you they will not be good friends and will never be girlfriends.
  
• It's really sad to see that something as stupid as a text message would break up any relationship that we had.
  
  What relationship? Are you blind?
  
• please tell me if you need any more information, I only remember that night too vividly
  
  Forget the girls, you spend all your time being insecure and crying about them. This is ridiculous. jb5k1, you have to respect yourself, once you do this, others will take note. Read this article, it will make a difference:
  
  Be A Man!

[jb5k1]

i was totally expecting something like that, and i am 14 and a pussy with girls. i was reading alotta other posts about guys backing down from the harsh, yet true advice or info they get...

i totally believe you, and yet i still want to be friends with her, cause i think she was showing off, shes not or shall i say, wasn't like that when we were alone

anyway, ur totally right, and i need more work with girls

i dont think i thoroughly explained myself, but u've let me see a different point of view which i think i'll follow.

thx playa

[K3vMySt3r]

well that explains everything... dude u're only 14...expect that in your age there not getting the whole maturity level... and follow up MVPlaya is saying...other than that...good luck

[MVPlaya]

jb5k1,

In your intro post you say that you are already having problems at 14, you are wrong, you are just getting introduced to this whole new life, you are "having problems" when you are a 40 year-old virgin whose never experienced mutual love. What you do need to do is learn to stand up for yourself, believe it or not, standing up to women makes them attracted to you because, unlike other men of this day and age, you value yourself and command respect.

There are two articles I want you to read, I've already sent you the link to one of them but I want you to read these two. They are

"Kill That Desperation"

and

"Be A Man!"

You can find both of them under my JOURNAL

[IceQueen]

CALL her (not txt msg), and hash it out on the phone. Talking to her face to face, and in public to boot, would be pretty intimidating.

As to what you should say, ask her to put herself in your position, if it was YOU who stood HER up, you know? Say that you felt pretty shitty, and that you didn't mean to say you hate her and that you just want your friend back.

[hallanole]

i for one totally agree with mvplaya.

they are so not worth your time hun.

[sfalexi]

Who needs them? You have other friends. And it's pretty clear that this girl wasn't a friend. If she's stood you up time and time again, ignores your text-messages, doesn't care whether you're with her or not, doesn't listen to you (when you said you were going for walk and she said she thought you left). They told you to shut up when you tried explaining your feelings, so they obviously don't care enough to listen to you.

Leave them behind. I wouldn't even want to hook up with this girl anymore. Here's my advice/prediction. I say ignore them. Ignore their messages. Hell, if they call/text you, tell them, "Leave me alone. I'm through with your shit." Hang out with some other friends. Here's the two scenarios that will happen after you show you aren't interested in knowing them anymore. . .

1) They will realize that they lost their plaything, and they will come back with stupid messages such as, "I miss you." "I need to talk to you." "Why are you acting this way?" But I suggest to leave them and simply don't respond to their pleas. There are way too many girls in this world to have to be mixed up with ones that don't respect you. You may not see it now (I'm guess you're in junior high or a freshman in HS?) but you'll see it as you grow older and your eyes open up and take in more of the wonderful female scenery this world has to offer.

2) They will not try to contact you. They will forget that you exist. In which case you will FINALLY see and understand that you didn't, and still don't mean a thing to them. And you shouldn't care, because they (sounds to me) are not the crowd that you should be hanging around with in the first place. They're bitches (you heard it above, I'm saying it again). And the only thing that bitches are good for, is laughing at when they realize their mistake in passing you up.

Alexi

[jb5k1]

sfalexi, thats the same thing my friend said

i just wanted it to work, but its not like she's the only girl i've got my eye on

[jb5k1]

Alright I'm having some problems with this whole ignoring thing. All her friends tell her that its not like her to do that to someone. They all think she has a crush on me, but she wont speak my name.

In class I see her looking in my direction, alot, and it seems to be at the times when you wouldn't be watching.

Is she playing with me or what?