Hate?!

[j_r_l]

To get a little background on this topic, please refer to this thread She Cheated, I'm Crushed

A little background about this girl. All my life I have dreamed of meeting someone like her. I've always hoped that someone like her existed and had pretty much decided I was never going to meet her. Then she came into my life. So yes, it was love at first sight, in fact, I loved her before I even knew she existed.

That god-damn "friend" of mine caused a huge fight between us and while she was cooling off he swooped in and got a little makeout action. This opened up a rift between us that never healed. Additionally her dad got sick and a rare condition faces her with the very real possibility of losing her arms. To deal with all that (plus a second masters and PhD) she dumped me about a month ago. Suffice to say, I'm hurt. She isn't dating anyone right now, just wants to be single, I'm doing my best to let her. I'm trying to stay friends with her, we text and talk and hang out on several occasions every week. We've still had a small bit of romance in the last month too.

The way I feel about the "friend" though. I hate him. I've never hated anyone and I hate this guy. I wish him the worst in life. I want everything bad to happen to him. I want him to get fired from his job, arrested, butt-raped, and get the clap in his ass. Then I want to see a donkey kick him square in the balls. After an initial blowup, he apologized and they are good friends. Nothing romantic, just friends. I've made it a point to avoid him. I've lost his number and I won't be somewhere if he's there. I don't want to see him, I don't want to get over it. The way I see it, my life would be better had I never met him.

It's hard on her though. We're still close friends, and those two are friends. She has to plan around us, because (trust me) there will be a fight if I ever see him. He betrayed our friendship and I can't let it go. In the last week my doctor has put me on Celexa (an antidepressant). It helps a little but this whole situation is killing me and her.

I don't even know what advice I want. I just want to offer her support in a stress free environment. I don't want to hate anymore. I just want to be who I used to be.

[Gigabitch]

#1- Do NOT drink while you're taking that antidepressant. At all. Promise? Good.
#2- You will never be who you were. Neither will I. Neither will anyone. Just go forward.
#3- Find that "friend" and kick his ass. Get it over with.

[Mathias]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

#2- You will never be who you were. Neither will I. Neither will anyone. Just go forward.

I think this is the most underrated thing that's said on the forums.

Every time this happens, and every time someone gets hurt--they ask, "will I ever be the same"? The answer is no--and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

[j_r_l]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

#1- Do NOT drink while you're taking that antidepressant. At all. Promise? Good.
#2- You will never be who you were. Neither will I. Neither will anyone. Just go forward.
#3- Find that "friend" and kick his ass. Get it over with.

Ha, I'm drinking a beer right now. I'm such a cheap drunk nowdays. Kinda kicks ass, half a PBR and I'm already feeling it.

Good point on #2. Just sucks you know, I'd give anything to have things the way they were. Still I love her, if I got just one wish, I wouldn't wish us back together or Jim to be mauled by boars. I'd wish that her arms were normal again.

I can't beat this guys ass. He outweighs me by at least 50lbs. Agreed though, it'd be incredibly cathartic to let it all out on him. That's not as big of an issue as succumbing to my own rage though. I would lose her as a friend, and right now I can't handle more loss from her.

[vashti]

Why are you sparing the girl the rage you are feeling towards the guy? It seems to me they are equally deserving.