Is "I love you" the only thing you want to hear?? - Love Forum

Saffy · #1 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 11:54 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, I never noticed this till now..
He is the kind of partner who always wants to say 'I love you" which is great BUT it stops there.
If I talked to him about myself or tried to share anything I find interesting, he wouldnt pay any attention to it.
I feel he doesnt know me, he doesnt know what do I like and what not, cause simply he is NOT ASKING!!
he never asks any questions about myself. Damn we have been together for 3 years and he doesnt even know what college do I go to.
It just doesnt interest him!
But YET he says that he loves me and he says it all the time, Non-stop.
And am getting bored of it cause I dont see any actions..
He is a very great guy, and he is trying to be loving. But Who is he in love with?? I think he is in love with love.

I told him about it and ofcourse he denies it..

All advices are welcome..

Thanks..

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 12:08 PM

It sounds like you are outgrowing him. This is a normal thing to do at your age. I don't think your feelings about him and his behavior are unfounded.

Mathias · #3 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 12:15 PM

Seriously? He doesn't know what college you go to?

3 years? Holy crap.

Run the **** away.

derm · #4 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saffy

Damn we have been together for 3 years and he doesnt even know what college do I go to

Flamin hell!........How can that be. You must be pretty easy going in order to put up with someone like that. How did ye get togethor in the first place?

Get rid, date me. I'll bombard you with questions about yourself on a daily basis and tell you nothing about myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aegis

A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. - Lisa Kirk, 1925-1990

I love this quote and so soo true. Must jot it down

Saffy · #5 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 09:19 PM

Thanks for your advices,
Well he has been like that and OMG its so irritating that he doesnt feel its important to talk about any of Us..
and Yes derm he is that type of guy who doesnt want to ask nor will he want to answer any of my questions or tell me anything about his life..or what he plans to do in his future.
This is so weird, Why havent I notice this before!!

Gigabitch · #6 (**permalink**) 18-10-06, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saffy

Thanks for your advices,
Well he has been like that and OMG its so irritating that he doesnt feel its important to talk about any of Us..
and Yes derm he is that type of guy who doesnt want to ask nor will he want to answer any of my questions or tell me anything about his life..or what he plans to do in his future.
This is so weird, Why havent I notice this before!!

Clearly, he's been drugging you. Look on the bright side- when you disappear from his life, he will have NO CLUE how to track you down.

vashti · #7 (**permalink**) 19-10-06, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aegis

Speaking from personal experience, I never ask people about their life...first, because I don't care, and second, because even if I do, I often feel like it's prying.

I kind of see your point. I never ask my sister about her job because she blabs on about if forever, and because she works with computer software, her occupational chit-chat is boring as all hell. Still, I know what she does for a living. If she brings it up on her own, I smile and nod my head because it seems to want me to know about it.

damoclesjones · #8 (**permalink**) 20-10-06, 02:32 AM

He doesn't love you. Love is fascinated and fascinating. Love makes you feel understood to the tips of your toes, magically so. Love makes you feel connected to every atom in the room. Love is utterly miraculous. He is attached to something he sees in you and hides his attachment behind high words.

Saffy · #9 (**permalink**) 20-10-06, 09:59 AM

damoclesjones.. THANK YOU!!, This is exactly what I think!

He is attached to something he sees in you and hides his attachment behind high words.

#10 (**permalink**) 20-10-06, 10:11 AM

"I love you" is the last thing I want to hear--but it's one of the first things I want to feel.

derm · #11 (**permalink**) 20-10-06, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

"I love you" is the last thing I want to hear--but it's one of the first things I want to feel.

Same here, especially if I don't feel anyway near the same feelings. It has happened too often where a girl has repeatidly told me she loved me and I just couldn't bring myself to repeat the words and lie to her

#12 (**permalink**) 21-10-06, 02:30 AM

The cruelest thing you can do to someone in my opinon is to tell anyone you love them and then never mean it the first time, then continue to do it with no regard for how it will impact that person later.

derm · #13 (**permalink**) 21-10-06, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlickyBoy

The cruelest thing you can do to someone in my opinon is to tell anyone you love them and then never mean it the first time, then continue to do it with no regard for how it will impact that person later.

I agree....not fair to be messing with feelings like that.

One night while texting a girl I was dating. Must have been around the time 'Sixth Sense' the movie was in Cinema, this happened:

Went somet like this:

Me: 'I have something to tell you'
Her: 'What'
Me: 'I don't know if I should be telling you this'
Her: 'Tell me!'
Me: ' I might regret saying it'
Her: 'Say it anyhow'
Me: 'Do you promise not to laugh'
Her: 'I promise!'
Me: 'No I'm not sure I should'
Her: 'Will you just say it for Christ sake'
Her: 'I think I know what your gonna say anyhow'
Me: 'What'?
Her: 'You first'
Me: 'Okay so you promise you won't laugh'
Her: 'Promise.......

Me: 'I see dead people.........'
Me: 'walking around like regular people'

Her: 'You wanker!!'

That was it she didnt talk to me or answer any of my calls for at least 2 weeks. I was just having a bit of fun but afterwards found out she loved me and thought I was going to say: 'I LOVE YOU'

Looking back at it now, it was funny, but I can also see why she stopped talking to me for a fortnight.

Henry123 · #14 (**permalink**) 21-10-06, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saffy

If I talked to him about myself or tried to share anything I find interesting, he wouldnt pay any attention to it.
I feel he doesnt know me, he doesnt know what do I like and what not, cause simply he is NOT ASKING!!
he never asks any questions about myself. Damn we have been together for 3 years and he doesnt even know what college do I go to.
It just doesnt interest him!

Maybe he is just using you for sex?
If he doesnt care about anything about you as a person I would seriously consider dumping him. Keep your options open.

AlefBet · #15 (**permalink**) 21-10-06, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

It sounds like you are outgrowing him. This is a normal thing to do at your age.

It can happen at any age. Women often outgrow men.

_____________________________________
“Open your heart for me slightly, and I’ll open the world for you.” - The Zohar http://www.kabbalah.info