She can't date yet, how do I show her I'm interested... - Page 2 - Love Forum

vashti · #16 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 07:23 AM

Someplace that will make you sorry you were born, I hope.

BlueRaven · #17 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Blue Raven, I think you need to first clarify with your brother that he absolutely isn't interested in this girl. No girl should come between brothers, and he may be too shy to tell you the truth.

Yeah I know I need to do this. The way I've seen him act around her, and what some of his friends have said to me, indicates that he isn't really interested in her. My brother was at the concert I was talking about the other night, and he was sitting right near us for a while, but was definitely paying more attention to these two other girls than he was to her. I think that's a pretty good indication, but obviously not a definite one...

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

When does she turn 16?

In April...

vashti · #18 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:17 AM

That's a little far off. Maybe you could talk to her mother since your families know each other. You can tell her you want to date her daughter because you really like AND RESPECT her, and tell her you promise to keep your hands to yourself. Moms LOVE when a boy will do this, trust me.

If she gives permission, you can ask the girl.

BlueRaven · #19 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

That's a little far off. Maybe you could talk to her mother since your families know each other. You can tell her you want to date her daughter because you really like AND RESPECT her, and tell her you promise to keep your hands to yourself. Moms LOVE when a boy will do this, trust me.

If she gives permission, you can ask the girl.

That's probably a good idea. However, if they've got a rule that she can't date until she's 16 I don't see how they'd suddenly back off of it.

That would still leave me with the problem of showing her I'm interested and not falling into the category of friends. I feel that could happen quickly. Hell, I really just met her for the first time the other night and already I'm pretty certain I want to date her, she seems to be everything I'm looking for in a girl. The whole thing is moving a little fast, at least for my taste it is.

vashti · #20 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:39 AM

My son did exactly as I advised you to do because he wanted to date a girl who wasn't allowed to date until she was 16. She is also 15. It worked for him.

You won't fall into the friends category if you ask her out. If you think it is too soon to be dating her, though, maybe you can hang out with her in a group for a while first.

BlueRaven · #21 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

My son did exactly as I advised you to do because he wanted to date a girl who wasn't allowed to date until she was 16. She is also 15. It worked for him.

You won't fall into the friends category if you ask her out. If you think it is too soon to be dating her, though, maybe you can hang out with her in a group for a while first.

So, let me get this straight. If I hang out in a group with her, without dating, I won't fall into the category of friends? I'm inclined to think the opposite, unless someone can come up with a suggestion to prevent that.

If friendship is the death knell to any romantic relationship, like many here seem to think it is, then I'll do everything in my power to avoid it. If that means asking her mom in the next week or two, I'll do it.

Like I said earlier, I'm going to be around her a decent amount this weekend. Hopefully then I can get some sort of sign from her as to whether or not she's interested in dating at this point.

vashti · #22 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 10:58 AM

No - what I meant is you should hang out in a group with her long enough to determine that you would like to date her, and THEN speak to her mom. Hanging out for a short while as friends will also give you a better idea about whether or not she likes you.

BlueRaven · #23 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

No - what I meant is you should hang out in a group with her long enough to determine that you would like to date her, and THEN speak to her mom. Hanging out for a short while as friends will also give you a better idea about whether or not she likes you.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. She's already invited me to hang out with her, and her friends, which through my brother I know most of anyway. So that should be relatively easy to do. Hopefully I'll be sure of how to go about this in a couple weeks, once I've been with her face-to-face, a little more.

#24 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:24 AM

Well, for whatever it's worth, Jordyn wasn't allowed to date until she was 16, and I called both her mom and her step-dad to ask for permission from both of them. They said it was fine.

KillaJakez · #25 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:30 AM

Don't have 6 hour phone conversations. Not even half hour. 5 minutes maximum.

BlueRaven · #26 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

Well, for whatever it's worth, Jordyn wasn't allowed to date until she was 16, and I called both her mom and her step-dad to ask for permission from both of them. They said it was fine.

It isn't worth anything.

On a serious note, I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna give it a couple weeks so that I know for sure I want to be with her. Hopefully I'll have the same luck that you and Vashti's son did...

BlueRaven · #27 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillaJakez

Don't have 6 hour phone conversations. Not even half hour. 5 minutes maximum.

Are you kidding man?! I was on the phone with a lady today for more than 5 minutes just trying to get a parking fine reduced.

When it's been 6 hours it's been all text messages, not an actual phone conversation...

BlueRaven · #28 (**permalink**) 01-11-06, 01:12 PM

I have a bit of an update on this. I've found out, through talking with her, that her parents have no such rule in place about her not being allowed to date. However, she has never dated before, and has never asked them if she is allowed to at the age she is now. She said that she thought it would probably depend on the guy, as to whether or not she would be allowed.

When she was telling me all of this I got the feeling she wanted me to ask her out right then and there, however I wasn't prepared to do so. I wanted to gather my thoughts, and I really don't want to make a mistake with this whole thing. I am now positive that I want to pursue a relationship with her, and I'd like to get things moving in that direction within the next week or two.

My question now is, should I stick with my original plan of asking her parents permission before I ask her, or would it be alright to go ahead and just ask the girl herself?

#29 (**permalink**) 01-11-06, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueRaven

I have a bit of an update on this. I've found out, through talking with her, that her parents have no such rule in place about her not being allowed to date. However, she has never dated before, and has never asked them if she is allowed to at the age she is now. She said that she thought it would probably depend on the guy, as to whether or not she would be allowed.

When she was telling me all of this I got the feeling she wanted me to ask her out right then and there, however I wasn't prepared to do so. I wanted to gather my thoughts, and I really don't want to make a mistake with this whole thing. I am now positive that I want to pursue a relationship with her, and I'd like to get things moving in that direction within the next week or two.

My question now is, should I stick with my original plan of asking her parents permission before I ask her, or would it be alright to go ahead and just ask the girl herself?

Ehhhhh...seeing as she's younger than you, it'd be pretty cool to ask the parents. But FIRST, ask the girl. This situation would be really awkward:

You: Hey! I'd like to date your daughter.
Parents: Oh, that's cool.
You: Awesome! Even if you said no, I'd still **** her after dinner at your place.
Parents: Yes sir!

You: Yeah dude, your parents said it's cool if you and I date. So, do you want to go to--
Her: Uhh?
You: You're not choking on my cock yet, what the hell is wrong?
Her: I don't want to date you.
You: ....

Then you're facing serious charges because the only thing a real man would do is rape and kill her.

BlueRaven · #30 (**permalink**) 01-11-06, 01:31 PM

Although in somewhat of a less extreme way, I was actually thinking the same thing.

By going through her parents I face the possibility of getting a "No" on more than one front. By just asking her, if she says "I'd really like to, but I'll have to ask my parents" it for one, saves me some trouble, and two, if she's willing to try and convince her parents to let her go out with me, that shows how interested she actually is.

Of course, that also leaves me with the possibility that she could claim her parents said no, when in fact she never asked and is just looking for an excuse not to go out with me. Although I consider that possibility extremely slim, it's a possibility nontheless.

I dunno, maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing now. Maybe it's as simple as just asking her out like I would any other girl.