She can't date yet, how do I show her I'm interested... - Love Forum

BlueRaven · #1 (**permalink**) 25-10-06, 11:13 AM

Alright, so I met this girl about a week and a half ago. She's younger than me, 15 actually, and she'll be 16 in the spring. From talking with some of her friends I found out that she can't date yet, but will be able to soon, I think when she turns 16. The age difference shouldn't be a big deal because our parents actually know each other and are casual friends and from everything I know of her so far she's mature for her age. When I first met her I actually thought she was my age or older.

Last friday night I saw her again at a concert in a small cafe. I sat at her table and we talked quite a bit. By the end of the night I had her number. The concert ended and we said goodbye. About five minutes after she left she sent a me text message, and we ended up talking for a couple more hours. On sunday she texted me again and we talked for about 6 hours. Today, same thing.

It's somewhat of a weird situation, because she's friends with my younger brother and has been for about a year, but I had never met her. For a while I thought he may have had some romantic interest in her but I've come to realize that isn't the case.

This girl and I seem to have a lot in common and a lot of chemistry. We've talked until one of us can't anymore. I could see myself becoming really good friends with her, but honestly I'm more interested in a relationship. The problem is, since she can't date I don't know how to avoid just becoming good friends, which from what I've read from many on this board, is not the ideal route to take when one is hoping for something more than that. I'm looking for some pointers on how I can show her I want more than friendship, without actually asking her out.

I know I'm going to see her plenty this coming weekend as well, possibly every day of it. I need to get an idea of how to go about this before then.

#2 (**permalink**) 25-10-06, 11:24 AM

BlueRaven, I've been in that situation too many times. Here's my advice:

Step awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay from the girl.

BlueRaven · #3 (**permalink**) 25-10-06, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

BlueRaven, I've been in that situation too many times. Here's my advice:

Step awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay from the girl.

In theory, that should work. In reality I don't think it's going to. There's several factors pulling us together, including the fact that she's invited me to come to places with her (where friends of ours will be as well so it ain't a date). Plus, my interest is now peeked.

abi · #4 (**permalink**) 25-10-06, 07:22 PM

hi i was that girl.... 6 years on and i'm still with. but believe me it wasn't all plain sailing. My boyfriend was older than me too and when he got to 18 i was only 15, so i was still young and he wanted different things. that was our major problem, he went and did what he had to do, and so did i . If you think your falling for her, give it a go. just don't be pushy

Gigabitch · #5 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

BlueRaven, I've been in that situation too many times. Here's my advice:

Step awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay from the girl.

Don't listen to him. He just wants to get you out of the way so he can move in.

My advice: Call her, get to know her, etc. but make it VERY CLEAR that you have no intention of entering the Friend Zone- tell her right away you want to date her.

BlueRaven · #6 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

My advice: Call her, get to know her, etc. but make it VERY CLEAR that you have no intention of entering the Friend Zone- tell her right away you want to date her.

That seems risky to me, just telling her strait up. Since she can't date yet I have to think that would make things awkward between the two of us, harder to communicate, and that's definitely not what I want. Hopefully when I see her in person again this weekend I'll be able to get a better grasp on just how she feels towards me, and if she wants anything more than friendship.

Really though, how big of a problem would it be if we became good friends before starting an actual relationship?

Gigabitch · #7 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueRaven

Really though, how big of a problem would it be if we became good friends before starting an actual relationship?

Do a search of all threads with "friend zone" in them. It's not a place you want to be.

BlueRaven · #8 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Do a search of all threads with "friend zone" in them. It's not a place you want to be.

I actually did that search and I see what you mean. I still think telling her what I want so quickly could have bad results. Hopefully this weekend I'll get a better idea of how she might react if I told her.

How long is too long to wait, before telling her? At what point do you think I'm flirting with permanent placement in the, Friend Zone? This is the first time I've ever been in this situation quite like this and frankly I'm somewhat clueless about the best way to approach it.

#9 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Don't listen to him. He just wants to get you out of the way so he can move in.

My advice: Call her, get to know her, etc. but make it VERY CLEAR that you have no intention of entering the Friend Zone- tell her right away you want to date her.

Shut up.

BlueRaven, this is advice from a DIVORCED woman. You don't want that, do you?!

BlueRaven · #10 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarathu

Shut up.

BlueRaven, this is advice from a DIVORCED woman. You don't want that, do you?!

To be honest, Zarathu, I'm looking for any advice at all at the moment. As long as it's from human beings who have experience in relationships, I'll take it. Plus, at least she's been married before, so she must know what not to do, right?

#11 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueRaven

To be honest, Zarathu, I'm looking for any advice at all at the moment. As long as it's from human beings who have experience in relationships, I'll take it. Plus, at least she's been married before, so she must know what not to do, right?

I'm kidding.

Okay, I'll admit, Giga gives good head.

vashti · #12 (**permalink**) 26-10-06, 06:20 AM

Damn, Z - you are a brat.

Blue Raven, I think you need to first clarify with your brother that he absolutely isn't interested in this girl. No girl should come between brothers, and he may be too shy to tell you the truth.

When does she turn 16?