Married and Scared, need advice and help. Did she cheat? - Love Forum

Markf60459 · #1 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 05:06 PM

good morning everyone, its 4am here in chicago and i cannot sleep. My name is mark and i am 29 and been married for 4 years.

I am very scared and worried at the moment because well just to make it quick and not bore everyone, My wife went to her work Xmas party tonight. She said during the week she was going to be home at 9, well today while she was there she said she would be home at midnight, which is fine.

She calls me at 11:30 and says she is on her way home, then calls me at 1:30 and says she is home ( only take 30 mins to get home not 2 hours )

We dont live together ( its a long story ) but we leave a few blocks away from one another. I stay at my parents house.

Anyways, she said she went to a local gas station and she got locked in the outside bathroom and had to call 911 cause she couldnt get out.

I dont know honestly about that. I checked the cell numbers called on the cingular website, and she did call 911 BUT here is the thing. There is this guy at her work who she says she is friends with at work, we actually met him up once at a concert we were all going too. anyways, she made 7 calls or so to him BEFORE calling 911, here is what i seen on the site. Now i know this seems a little over doing it by looking at cellphoen records, but i find it funny how she called this guy all these times, look at the times and about 2 mins before she supopse got locked in the bathroom

12/15 12:19 AM EMERGENCY LINE 000-000-0911 NW 3
12/15 12:17 AM HARVARD 815-560- NW 2
12/15 12:17 AM HARVARD 815-560- NW 1
12/14 11:53 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 1
12/14 11:48 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 5
12/14 11:41 PM INCOMING 815-560- NW 5
12/14 11:39 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 1
12/14 11:36 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 4
12/14 11:31 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 3
12/14 11:31 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW 1
12/14 11:25 PM HARVARD 815-560- NW

also she had a work party about a month ago, and she didnt get home till 2am, she had some other story why she was late, and also that same nite, she called this guy 5 times...

Now i dont know if i am over reactiing here or what, but i am truley shaking here and i am very scared. we been married for 4 years now, she cheated on me once with her Ex and i caught her, this was about 1 yr into our marriage.

I love her to death, She says she didnt do anything or go anywhere, i find this hard to believe. I am just so scared right now about what to think

what should i do?

Markf60459 · #2 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 05:10 PM

I am sorry. I am also new to the site first post. I didnt want to just barge in like this, but i really need someone to talk to. I honestly dont knwo what to do and i am very scared at the moment.

Markf60459 · #3 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 05:23 PM

well from where he lives, that is totally out of the way, an hour or so.

she called him like 8 - 9 times....as soon as she left the party up until she got locked in?

call me a freak ( i am sure you will ) but i call the 2 gas stations in that area, nothing like that happened and i called the police station in that town, no call of anything like that either.

Markf60459 · #4 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 05:26 PM

things that make me seem wierd about this guy.

A few months back we were going to a concert, this guy was going as well with his friends, she says he is going to pick us up and all drive together ( me her him and his friends) well it made no sense because we are about 40 mins out of the way to the concert, he calls last min and says he cant make it to pick us up. So we go there. we meet him up he sticks around for about 5 mins, then disappears the entire nite. Kinda odd since there such GREAT friends for a friend to say hello for 5 mins then that all for the nite?

also as i said before the last work party, she didnt get home till 2am, she said she was in the car driving when i called, and i pointed it out that the car wasnt even running ( we have a loud car ) then she said whatever and hungup...when she got home she was crying saying the reason WHY she lied cause she peed her pants on the way home cause there was NO WHERE to stop for a bathroom and didnt want to tell me that on the phone, she felt bad about it.

Once again, his number pops up about 5 times that nite.

Sami09 · #5 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 08:49 PM

why didnt she call you if she was stuck in the bathroom how far were you from that gas station. I think you really need to talk to her and lay everything out on the table because you guys are married. why arent you living together if you are married i know you said you live with your parents but why.

Zach · #6 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 10:08 PM

This does sound VERY fishy. Whenever your spouse has a friend of the opposite sex it can put a strain on the relationship. I think friends are fine but when you get best guy friends involved and then it can become a battle for attention and intimacy, as to there is a VERY fine line between friendsship and more than friendsship.

I would suggest sitting her down and telling her your scared and worried and that you are worried about how much time she is spending talking to or being with this other guy. This can be a very tough situation and it can get nasty really quick if there is something going on. But remember that there could be nothing going on at all.

Look her in the eye and confront her. Just my opinion.

Maybe wait for some of the other board members to give you their opinions.
We got some great people on this forum. ^^

SONOIL · #7 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 10:11 PM

Well. I'm sorry to say, but once a cheater, always a cheater. As for me, especially if i would catch her cheating it would be grounds for divorce... She takes you for a fool and she takes your marriage for granted! I don't understand why you love her to death, love and marriage are supposed to be mutual. Try to resolve this issue if you can, because nobody deserves lying and cheating especially in marriage.

Zach · #8 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 11:02 PM

Its possibly to love someone to death and it be one sided. As sad as that is, it happens. You can try to catch her and end it all because that is what you MUST do if thats whats going on. If she is cheating she isn't going to tell you. So it may be up to you to catch her. But if she is doing nothing at all, then you may come off as a super paranoid crazy husband lol. Which isn't your fault in this situation I think. She should know a bit better than all this.

Gigabitch · #9 (**permalink**) 15-12-06, 11:47 PM

I think your situation sounds seriously messed up. I'd like to hear the "long story" about why you don't live together.

From over here, it looks like she's cheating. Whether she's actually sleeping with him or not isn't really the concern as much as the fact that she's emotionally attached to him. He is her significant other. I think you're on the way out of her life.

You really need to post some more details about what's going on with the two of you.