Is this good advice? - Love Forum

sweetness17 · #1 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 10:11 AM

A guy I recently met gave me some advice. Im pretty shy and don't very often make the first move on guys i'm interested in. I haven't had many boyfriends and the above statement is prolly to blame. I was talking to him about it and he said that I should be more aggressive when showing interest. Conversation progressed into the fact that people should explore before settling down because if you stay with the first person you date seriously that your likely to leave or live with wondering what it'd be like to be with someone else. How true is what he's saying?

my_540i · #2 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 11:47 AM

I think that it works both ways. Yes it's always good to explore and meet new people. But you'll know when you find that special someone. And when you do theres no point in exploring.

Pretender · #3 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 12:10 PM

A lot of people end up having regrets because they slept with so many people and wished they would of saved themselves for the one "true love" they eventually find. You shouldn't not get serious with someone because you haven't tried a variety of men out, thats just ridiculous. If he treats you right and loves you and you do the same for him you will have no regrets.

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 12:23 PM

It's a possibility, but it all depends on the person.

If you date one person, and end up marrying them, yes it is possible that one or the other will leave because they will feel that they've "lost out" on opportunities and exploring.

However it can certainly also be the case that they stay together forever. It's a risk. Just like ANYTHING else.

For instance, if you found someone who had explored and got it 'out of their system', there's no guarentee that they will won't want to do it again in the future and leave you for that. Or that they'll feel now "tied down" and leave. There's always risks. It's just up to you as to WHEN you're ready to stick to one person.

Alexi

dubu · #5 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 06:26 PM

Getting into a relationship for the sake of gaining experience before settling down is not a good reason for pursuing someone. I suggest that you ask yourself what you really want in a potential mate and when you evetually meet that person, make sure that the other person know that you are interested without actually telling the person straight up. If you play it right, the person will pick up on the hint and will act accordingly.

squirrley · #6 (**permalink**) 22-03-04, 07:31 PM

Its not really sound advice to me. It depends on the person and they want out of life and or partner. I certainly wouldnt feel comfortable tasting EVERY peice in the candy store just to stay I did it. You find someone you like get together and see what happens. But in the meantime know what you want. If its not whats right for you know when to get out. But if it is....then stay.

All relationships have their own risks. But trusting yourself is key ingredient for own life. Life is an experiment and experiences, and thus so are relationships. You have to learn from them all.