Parties while Dating - Love Forum

Pretender · #1 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 04:24 AM

This may be a really ridiculous question but here goes:

Should someone who is dating a person go to parties by themselves?

I see nothing wrong with it besides the fact that I feel so guilty going to them without him with me. When a girl goes to a party without her dude guys are going to hit on you and I feel bad for putting myself in a situation where that may happen. He puts himself in those kinds of situations all the time but I just dont care about them anymore and kind of see this as revenge which isn't healthy I know. But I'm young and need to enjoy myself also. I don't ever tell him when I go to a party because I dont want to make him jealous, and to be honest I wouldn't want to know if he went to one without me because it just makes you wonder what happened while they were drunk.

Is it wrong to put yourself in a situation like that where it's a possibility you will do something you regret later?

sfalexi · #2 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 05:12 AM

Why not go to parties WITH HIM? Then you can have your fun, and no longer worry about this.

Or go with a group of friends.

However I'd at least talk it over with him.

Alexi

Pretender · #3 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 06:35 AM

My BF doesn't hang out with the same kind of people that I do and he is always working or with his friends when I go to a party so it's not like I had a choice to bring him. It's basically me being bored and not wanting to sit home. And even if I go with friends bad things still happen because my friends are pretty slutty. I love 'em but they're ho's.

squirrley · #4 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 08:42 AM

It sounds like theres no trust in your relationship. You sound like maybe you want to go out and have fun and not be tied down per say.

I would talk with your boyfriend and let him know how your feel!
See if you cant start going to them together! Who knows you guys might have a great time together!

goodluck

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretender

Is it wrong to put yourself in a situation like that where it's a possibility you will do something you regret later?

i think you already know the answer to this one. by reading your thread, i get the sense that you already have in mind that you're going to cheat on him. you may not want it to happen now, but when there are drugs and liquor invovled, people get extra friendly. you better think really hard about what you're willing to give up before you do something that you'll regret. raverboy

Pretender · #6 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 12:36 PM

I would never cheat but I am putting myself in a situation where I could If I chose too. I'm a bleeding heart I would never hurt someone like that.

Pretender · #7 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 12:40 PM

No offense to the people who replied but it sounds like you totally misunderstood what I was trying to ask. I could of worded it differently I guess to help you understand. I dont know where the trust thing came up or the fact that I am subconsciously thinking about cheating on him. We've been together for 3 years and I've had no problems controlling myself and the same with him. I just feel bad I guess when guys hit on me and he's not there. But that's life.

sfalexi · #8 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 12:54 PM

Quote:

just feel bad I guess when guys hit on me and he's not there. But that's life.

You can't stop other guys from hitting on you. You can be as cold as ice and SOMEONE will still hit on you if they want to. The only thing you can do is control your reaction and whether you do anything with these guys. If you're not going to do anything with these guys, then tell your boyfriend and continue going out to parties. If you think you might 'break down' at some point, then perhaps the guy isn't right for you or you're not ready to be fully committed to one person quite yet.

Alexi

jerzygrl · #9 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 11:37 PM

My theory-- you have the rest of your life to be tied down to someone and your only young once.

Girls are always finding themselves in positions where they can be hit on. For instance, the other night i was driving on the high way and these guys are holding up signs at my car askin for my number... haha. The point is-- I didn't pull over or give them my number. Oppertunities are all around whether your at party or at a grocery store-- opportunities you DONT have to take. Its all how you handle them.

As for goin out with your girlfriends-- even though they may be whore's -- they are still your girlfriends. Girls need to get out once in a while without the boys... no harm done

be good.

Illusional · #10 (**permalink**) 29-03-04, 11:45 PM

maybe we all did misunderstand you. however i agree with alexi. raverboy

Creatine · #11 (**permalink**) 30-03-04, 01:35 AM

My younger brother went through the same thing you are going through right now, Pretender. He was with his girlfriend for over four years. She's the type of girl who likes to hang out (go to movies, clubing, bowling, etc.) with her girlfriends on the weekends. For him, he feel he didn't fit in with her friends so he would always stay home and watch TV on the weekends while she goes out. They would go to the movies here and there, but never clubing. After about a year, she finally decided to end the relationship because she fell for another guy. She loves my little brother (and I'm sure she still does), but sometimes LOVE isn't enough to keep a relationship together...it requires a lot of commitment, trust, and communication. You should talk to your boy and make sure you understand each other. That's just my 2 cents.

PandaCivic · #12 (**permalink**) 30-03-04, 01:47 AM

if he trusts you to go to parties with just your friends you should respect his trust by giving him the same thing. being hit on is like a compliment because people find you attractive. it's what you do with those compliments that make you who you are as far as he goes. i used to go out with this girl that worked at the mall, she would always get hit on. she gets home and calls me and says that some guys asked for her number and shit like that. i was upset for a bit but more jealous, she would tell me, don't worry, you were the one i chose. that made me feel better in a way. once in a while i would go to where she works and pretend i don't know her and hit on her. for some reason that made her smile.
the point to my post is that if you feel the same way he feels for you, there's nothing to worry about. but he should at least be included or at least invited to your outings.

squirrley · #13 (**permalink**) 30-03-04, 03:00 AM

I agree with Chuck Brown!!!!

sorry for the misunderstanding though!