In Love With A Girl At University

[Elemental]

Hey Guys,

I've never tried one of these sites for advice before, so I thought I would give it a go. Ok here is the situation:

I started uni 2months ago, I met a girl called Lauren who is in 1 of my 4 classes, I have fullen in love with Lauren. My problem is, I only get to see her one day a week (monday) and only for approx 5hours, apart from that, I never see her (Well we email each other occasionaly). One of the other girls in my class told me that Lauren said "shes not looking for a boyfriend at the moment" - but I was told that over a month ago, and lately my mates have been telling me that Laurens looking at me all the time (I have never been good at picking up on girls flirting with me) and also about a month ago, one of my mates told Lauren I liked her, she just laughed if off (As in ~whatever~).


I get butterflys in my stomach everytime I see her, I can hardly even talk to her, and because we are at university, i am rather affraid of saying something "funny" and others maybe finding me imature?... anyway me and Lauren have been getting along allot better lately, she even tricked me on april fools . I dont mind waiting until shes ready for a relationship, but its so annoying not knowing if i am wasting my time.... (I dont want to waste 6months or a year waiting for a girl, who might not want to go out with me). And I dont want to ask her out, because if she says no, it would make the situation weird at uni wouldn't it?. I just want to get to know her better, thats my main problem here, and I also want to know if she likes me.


Cheers,


Luke.

[squirrley]

Luke-get some kahoonas buddy!!!!!!! Ask her out! Dont worry about anything else. How are you going to EVER find out if you could have anything with her by just watching her?

Be casual about it...if theres some kind of college thing going on-dance, fair or whatever, just ask her to it. KEEP IT SIMPLE.

This is where you start to take control of yourself and stand up for yourself. IF she says no, then you know maybe this isnt the girl for you. But you cant sit on the sidelines hoping this will develop if you dont do anything about it!

GO ASK OUT LAUREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pretender]

You should definetly ask her out and remember you have to ask her out for a specific day, place, and time. It sounds like you are waiting for lauren to make the first move and some girls just won't do that. They want an assertive male that knows what he wants. You've got nothing to lose by asking her out on a date only two things to gain. One is you will know if she lieks you and you won't have to keep wondering about it, two is you'll have a date if she says yes.

And about her just laughing it off that you like her. Girls do that sometimes so as to not seem desperate and secretly think wow. Plus she doesn't know if you're friends are just messing around with her and what would you expect her to say in front of them anyway?

Ask her out!

[sfalexi]

First off, I don't think you're in love. You don't know enough about her to be 'in love'. What you DO know is that she's pretty, has a nice voice, and doesn't mind talking to you. That's hardly enough to fall in LOVE. So don't play this "love card" anytime soon. Get to know her first (through dating). In the meantime, know that it's not LOVE, but just a CRUSH.

Secondly, ask her out. It's the only SUREFIRE way to know if she's interested in you or not. As for her laughing it off, one of YOUR FRIENDS told her. So why would she sit there and have a conversation about her feelings with "some guy who's your friend"? If you ask her out in person, you'll get the straight story. No laughing, no BS. None of this High School, "Um . . . go ask that girl if she likes me .. . tee hee" bullshit. You're in college, time to step up and start being a man. Make the move, ask her out in person, one on one. Be confident when you do so and she'll pick up on it and will be MUCH more likely to say yes.

Alexi

[PandaCivic]

dude! i'm in the same situation! ha ha! don't listen to ur friends. they're trying to get you to thinking things about her that aren't even true. the only way you'llknow for sure is to go up t her yourself and do your thing. and since you guys email each other back, that's a major way of communication. and if you can't go up to girls so easily, email is a better way for your case. slowly work your way to her and hopefully you'll find out more things you've always wondered than you will with people opinions. go for it(her)!

[Elemental]

Hmm thanks for the advice guys, did I also mention she played a late april fools joke on me? lol. I would like to ask her out, I am just a little un-sure. I guess i am looking for help in noticing things a girl might do or say if she likes you, because i am no good at picking those things up . Anyway I have her in my class today, so i'll post back later tonight with an update of what happened.



Luke.

[Pretender]

This is what I tell all my guy friends to look for to see if a girl likes you. Does she smile at you all the time and act shy and coy.

If I were you though I wouldn't waste time on looking for the signs I'd just ask her out.

Sometimes you guys make me nervous with all this waiting around to see if they actually like you. I want to hear about some action!

GIMME ACTION

[Elemental]

Ok guys here is my update:

Yesterday I had Lauren in my class at uni (which is the girl I like),
I turnedup to uni in a suit and tie because I had a job interview just before I uni, I was waiting outside my class and Lauren turnedup, and said "hi, your looking all dressup and nice how come?", I told her I had a job interview..... she asked me how it went, and if I thought I got the job etc (for the record the interview went well). Then we walked into the class room, laughing and joking about a april fools joke she played on me last week. Everyone else in our group arrived (the class is split up into groups of people all working on different projects, i am in her group). And then she didnt really say much too me for the rest of the class, but she did to others in the group? I made the effort to try and talk to her again but she just answered my question(s), not really starting another conversation up with me. My friend told me Laurens not looking for a boyfriend at the moment (maybe shes waiting till she gets her degree?)... I have only known her 5 weeks, everyone at uni is telling me to ask her out, but my instinct is telling me that she "might" like me, but wants to get to know me better. I invited her and the group i am in out to dinner next week, she said to me Quote: "I'll get back to you close to the date" - she said that a week ago too me, so I dont know if shes actualy going to come, she does have allot to do "outside uni" such as work and goto church etc. So what do you guys think I should do? ask her out? wait and get to know each other better? see how the "dinner" thing goes (ie: weither she even turns up lol).

I await all your replys,


Luke.

[sfalexi]

I would still ask her out on a date. You're not asking to be her exclusive boyfriend, you're asking to go somewhere to talk and get to know each other better.

Alexi

[Elemental]

Hmm I dont have much experience in asking girls out (without making them feel like i am asking them on a date), I really need help with this and advice about what I mentioned in my last post, I hope you guys help me out

[lsustudent09]

well, in my experience, i'm more likely to respond to a casual hang out session. going to the movies or out to dinner is definitly a plus. don't be too frantic about jumping into the situation. if she doesn't want a boyfriend, then don't jump on that, but jump on it as a 'Friend that is a boy'. Try to sway her mind through cute little things, and not great big leaps and bounds.

[sfalexi]

One of the best pieces advice I heard about trying to move a girl from a friend into a girlfriend was from another thread. Can't remember who said it (Ice maybe?)

"Start acting like her boyfriend, and soon you will be". Or something along those lines. So if she's not looking for a boyfriend, go out as friends. But act like a boyfriend. Hold her hand, be witty, cuddle with her on the couch during movies (when you're up to that level), open the door for her, etc. etc. Eventually she'll WANT YOU as her boyfriend. She won't have been 'looking' for one, but will have found one.

Of course don't pass up another possible date if this girl isn't looking for a boyfriend. Cause there is still a chance she won't want you as a boyfriend. But this is just one way to get there with a girl that's "not looking".

Alexi

[Charlyx]

I think you should definately ask her out!!

I would never, ever make the first move on a guy, I find it hard enough trying to show them that I like them! When talking to guys that I like I find it hard to make conversation so very often I just answer their questions like your girl did. And If if I was told a guy that I really liked fancied me I'd probably laugh it off too. Like the others said it's shock and not wanting to seem too desperate.

if you don't feel ready to make the move on her just wait until you are ready- you have plenty of time and you've only known each other a couple of weeks!! When you are ready, just ask her out, even if it doesn't work out, you don't have to sit around thinking 'what if'.

[sonic486]

I got an idea.
you have to start acting like a lover.
Best friends talk about dumb stuff that happened in their life,
Lovers don't.
It's also hard to turn a friend into a lover,
and you can't try to be her friend and expect her to become attracted to you at the same time.
so....
START ACTING LIKE A LOVER!!!
It really works.
It also depends on if she likes you or not.
I think she has a little crush on you.

PS: this post is pretty much like sfalexi's

[Elemental]

Hey guys, thanks for the replys, much appreciated advice. The other night she e-mailed me saying Quote: "Hey Luke (thats me), if your not busy tomorrow or if your meeting up with Ben (thats my bestfriend), why dont you come down to work and have one of the best coffees in the world!" (she works in a coffee shop).

Anyway one of my other friends has been upset lately (Talking about killing herself), so I asked "Lauren" (the girl I like) if she wanted to meet me for lunch in the shopping center / mall where she works. She agreed to meet me 45minutes before she started work, we didnt actualy have any lunch but we sat there and spoke for the whole 45minutes, only 5minutes of that was spent talking about my friend wanting to kill herself (I know that sounds harsh lol, but that problem has been resolved now, and so I didnt think there was a point in talking about that for 45minutes!). So yeah there you have it! she came and had lunch with me (only as friends). My problem is do you think she likes me? (as in wants to maybe go out with me?), I dont want to ask her because shes in my classes at uni and I have to work with her one day a week, so if I ask her and she says no, then it will be an uncomfortable working enviroment. Also my next problem: What is the next step?

Should I e-mail her and say I had a nice time?
wait until I see her this monday at uni?
where is somewhere I could invite her to again outside of uni? (inviting her to the movies is a little sudden, this girl really wants to get to know a guy before she dates him).


Looking forward to your replys.

Luke.